
Did last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County have a theme? I mean, a theme besides “ZOMG PLASTIC SURGERY AND FAKE TANNING” because that’s more or less what all the episodes are about, right?
I don’t think it did, but then again, I shouldn’t be looking for narrative structure in the Real Housewives franchise anyway, I suppose. What I did get out of last night’s episode was a stark reminder of how objectively awful this show is. I have a house guest for the weekend that flew in last night and was forced to watch with me, and he had no context for the show and had never seen it before.
Normally I watch my Thursday night guilty pleasures all by myself, sometimes with a pizza and some beer, but never with a buddy, because I don’t know anyone with the intestinal fortitude to withstand this crap. But he didn’t have a choice, and as things wore on and we saw Slade’s junk covered with only a sock, a teenager at a nose job consultation, and Vicki & Co. acting like the quintessential Ugly Americans in Italy, he asked me if I actually liked the show. All I could think of to say was, well, they give me a lot of material.
And then I’m pretty sure he judged me. Right there in my own apartment.