So, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that this episode finally wasn’t full of filler. Some stuff actually hit the fan, which is what we’ve all been waiting for (yes, that was a Royal We right there). We don’t watch The Real Housewives of Orange County for the avant garde fashion choices, after all.

The bad news is that it was all of Lynn’s uncomfortable family issues that hit said fan, which made my skin crawl for approximately 45 minutes of the hour-long episode. I like this whole car-crash of a show a lot better when consenting adults are the only victims, and I also like it a lot better when it doesn’t subject me to a caterwauling drunk woman who is somehow still smiling because of how tight her stupid facelift is. That is a combination of annoying and creepy that I’d rather not have in my Thursday night.

To finish out Paris Couture Week, I thought it might be nice to have something that’s not at all intellectual or challenging. If as many of you guys go out on Thursday nights as the people in my group of friends, then Friday morning is not the time to be looking at and making sense of Difficult Fashion. No no, Friday is the time for obvious things.

So, for the princess/teenage prom-goer/Oscar-winner in all of us, Elie Saab Haute Couture has the beaded, tulle’d ball gown that we’ve always wanted. In case you don’t have an occasion to which to wear a ball grown, there are a few super sparkly, pastel cocktail dresses as well, but don’t worry, they don’t skimp on the beading or tulle. Ever for someone like me, an Alexander McQueen fangirl that likes things dark and edgy if at all possible, it’s unquestionably fun to drool over something girl and light every now and then. Here’s your chance, folks.

It’s very rare that I have anything negative to say about Treesje bags, and if that was what you were hoping for today, I’m about to disappoint you. Move along. Nothing to see here. Besides this beautiful bag, of course.

The Treesje The Revealed Studded Satchel is similar to a lot of the brand’s bags that we’ve seen in the past because it employs two of their signatures: tonal texture and studs. The best thing about it, however, is that the designers chose to use the studs in such a way that they won’t look dated once industrial finishes become a little less popular.

As of late I have been finding more reasons to love Burberry. Their leather bags continue to not only be fashionable and current but also affordable. And now I found a new Burberry bag that I want so badly to like but can’t help but look at it and see jean pockets.

I know many designers put two pockets on the front of their bags. This is nothing new. But there are times when I see a bag with pockets on the front that has me feeling like I am staring at a pair of jeans. And I am not sure the belted top detail helps the Burberry Tumbled Leather Tote look less like half a torso of someones body. Nevertheless, the bag still has many likable features.

To (very loosely) paraphrase the great Raymond Carver, Jean Paul Gaultier is what we talk about when we talk about couture. In a week of shows that have left me at times both dazzled and underwhelmed (Valentino, I’m looking at you), Gaultier showed up just in time to remind us all exactly why we’re here: because only a handful of people on the face of the planet are capable of so masterfully creating clothes that make us dream.

That’s exactly what we got with this woven, corseted, sombrero’d Mexico-meets-Avatar collection of things that no one could ever wear out into the real world, except for maybe Daphne Guinness and Lady Gaga. But the beauty of couture is that no one needs to wear most of it, which unshackles the designers and enables them to create truly resplendent and inspiring clothes-art without the burden of functionality (or the burden of reality, for that matter).

This is Amanda, your resident Alexander Wang fangirl, reporting from the front lines again. We’re at that precarious time of year when spring bags could drop any day, and it looks like ShopBop just got an enormous shipment of new stuff from my one true bag love (you know, besides Balenciaga and Valentino).

Thusly, I would like to present to you ladies (and gentlemen), the Alexander Wang Rocco Baby Duffel Bag. Look kind of familiar? Yeah, well, it should.

I’m…I’m underwhelmed. And a little sad, maybe. But mostly confused. Is this what Valentino Haute Couture is supposed to look like? Are they serious? I think we’ve been tricked. Fooled. Bamboozled.

It kind of reminds me of what would happen if Balenciaga and Valentino had a baby (the term ‘Valenciaga’ has already been coined elsewhere, I can’t take credit for it), and a few of the tight minidresses are reminiscent of Herve Leger, particularly with the neon inserts that were also in the previous Leger spring collection. Which is all fine and good, except neither of those designers make couture – they do a dandy job at pret-a-porter, but this is couture week, people.