Last night, we trudged through yet another hour of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion, during which we tackled (but by no means answered) such important question as whether or not Brandi drinks too much (probably) and whether or not Carlton’s an anti-Semite (probably not). Real Housewives isn’t a show of answers, though, and maybe that’s why we have to have another hour of reunion time next week.
1. The Housewives went to an inordinate member of group exercise classes this season. In years when there’s a ton of internal drama to carry the plot, all the Housewives do is go to parties and lunches and “coffee confrontations” because putting them in the same place to talk is all that’s necessary for good television. This season, the Beverly Hills wives needed lots of structured activities, and most of them were such that talking wasn’t particularly easy.
2. There is no progress to be made between Carlton and Kyle. No matter how much it’s pointed out that Kyle couldn’t see Carlton’s entire tattoo and that asking if it was a Star of David is not actually offensive, Carlton is convinced that it was somehow meant as an insult, even though she admits that it’s not an insulting thing to say. Kyle, for her part, didn’t really walk back her claim that Carlton might be anti-Semitic, even though she probably isn’t. She’s just anti-Kyle.
3. Gigi pays her own rent in NYC. I don’t entirely know if I believe that. Gigi certainly has a significant income from her recent modeling success, but Yolanda is such an involved mother that I’d be surprised if she weren’t still trying to mother Gigi with cash. Also, modeling pays reasonably well at the very high end (and nowhere else), but Gigi’s apartment is fantastically expensive.
4. Brandi’s ex-husband won’t allow their kids on the show. That’s why we never get to see Brandi be anything but drunk at a party, which I had never really thought about until it was brought up. If we could see Brandi in more types of situations, I’m sure she’d seem less like a ridiculous lush than she does now, but Eddie wants all the kiddie camera time for himself, apparently.
5. I still don’t understand why Kim cares so much about whether Lisa shows up to things. There are people in my social group who never bother to show up to stuff. Some of them do it for Kim reasons, others do it because they’re just annoying people in general who don’t value the friendship of others. No matter the reason, though, it becomes difficult to take their invitations seriously after enough passage of time, especially if I’ve never formed any particularly personal bonds with them. People wear out their welcomes, and it’s not cruel to set boundaries with an addict, even if (and maybe even especially if) they’re tighter than the boundaries that the addict would prefer.
6. Brandi’s on 10mg of Lexapro. Brandi has her moments at both logical extremes of the personality spectrum, but her candidness about her emotional struggles and the very practical ways she’s trying to deal with them is great.
7. Has anyone ever been as self-righteous as Joyce? Brandi has plenty of privilege, but I cannot listen to anyone who’s never been clinically depressed or a single mom lecture a clinically depressed single mom about how she doesn’t really have it that bad and she should buck up. At best, she’s speaking out of turn, and at worst, she sounds like she’s looking for someone to criticize in order to accent her own virtue, an virtue doesn’t buy you a lot of fans on reality TV.
8. Somehow, we have another week of this left. The first two hour-long installments of this reunion have been stupendously dull, and for some reason, I assumed they were going to put us out of our misery tonight. My hopes were dashed, for next week we have to talk to the husbands.