I still haven’t caught up with last week’s season finale of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills after my trip to Texas, it didn’t really matter one way or the other when it came time to figure out last night’s reunion. That’s because the Housewives only talked about the same things they’ve been discussing all season, and they said more or less the same stuff they’ve been saying the entire time. The reunions are usually juicy because the cast members are asking point-blank questions about all the conflicts by someone other than their cast mates, but it didn’t amount to a whole lot last night.
1. Yolanda’s bob! Yolanda looks great with a bob. She looks nice always, because she is a retired model who is married to a wealthy dude with a mansion, which makes it easy to look nice, but I love seeing Real Housewives without eight pounds of hair for which they have a purchase receipt. They almost all look younger and more sophisticated than they do with their pet weaves, even if it makes their curling irons sad to get retired. Brandi could take a lesson from Yolanda’s bob.
2. Lisa may or may not have lived in Calabasas. Brandi paid $9.99 to the Internet and the Internet told her Lisa used to live in Calabasas, which is apparently an unacceptable level of Kardashian proximity for a Bravolebrity. Lisa, for her part, admits owning property there but denies that she ever deigned to grace the dwelling with her presence.
3. I wouldn’t watch a show about just Kim and Kinglsey. I probably could be convinced to watch several YouTube videos of them while eating a $12 chopped salad during my lunch break at work, though, which is more than I can say of Kyle and literally anyone else on television. Kyle may want to invest in a goofy rescue pit bull for next season.
4. Yolanda’s the first Housewife ever to cop to being in a bad mood. I had never thought about it until the words came out of Yolanda’s mouth, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone in a Housewives reunion admit she was grouchy and tired when confronted with a bad reaction that she had to something relatively minor. Instead of trying to defensively explain why she was the real victim, Yolanda simply sounded like a normal human being with a full range of emotions. Imagine!
5. It took me 26 minutes to realize Joyce was on the couch. In fact, I have no idea whether or not she was sitting there at all before Andy introduced her. That probably doesn’t bode well for Joyce’s longevity as a cast member, considering that rumors of her exit have been swirling for over a month.
6. Brandi claims that Lisa is different on the show than she is in real life. This is my surprised face. Can you see it? Can you feel it?
7. Lisa might be a little thin-skinned. It’s not exactly a rare thing to encounter a funny, quick person who uses her humor to deflect attention from whatever insecurities she may have. It’s also not rare that one such person might, say, audition for a reality show. I’m not saying Lisa is a funny, smart, somewhat insecure person who’d rather not be made fun of, because I don’t know Lisa, but it is in the realm of conceivable things.
8. The lack of intrigue in this reunion gives credence to the recasting rumors. I could barely come up with seven points that were even worth mentioning about that hour of television. I considered giving Yolanda’s tasteful, modern orange dress its own point, but it seemed like dedicating the beginning of the recap to her hair cut was effusive enough.
9. On the upside, maybe we only have one more hour of Carlton in our lives. One can only hope.