Did anyone switch over from the Golden Globes to watch Real Housewives of Atlanta last night. I did, but begrudgingly, because the last hour is always the drunkest and best part of that particular awards show. Thankfully, Bravo producers saw fit to reward those of us who pulled ourselves away from watching Ricky Gervais make gay jokes about Tom Cruise.

Last night was merely the first part of what I like to think of as the Tour Bus Tussle, and next week, we’ll get to see Tour Bus Tussle Part 2: Beach House Brouhaha. I can make up these names all day, kids. Let’s hope that the fight doesn’t move to a third location later, because I’d rather not.

Things started right where we left off, with everyone including Derek J. the heel-wearing wig stylist still on the bus and Kim trying to light a cigarette on a griddle. Predictably, that didn’t work so well and and Kim woke everyone up and got the bus to pull over, which seemed like a reasonable idea if it would make her sit down and shut up for another three hours. Once she was full of nicotine again, Sweetie shot her up with B12 and onward they went to Orlando. It says something about this show that none of that even struck me as particularly odd. Or maybe it says something about me…

Back in Atlanta, Nene was still pretending to be an actual entertainment reporter and managed to get herself on television with the few moments of her Jermaine Dupri interview which were actually fit for broadcast. Interestingly, one of those moments included a side jab at Kim’s age (which is significantly lower than Nene’s) that Kim just happened to see on the bus (producer setup much?) when it just so happened that Nene would be joining them in Orlando for their next show. Truth might be stranger than fiction, but fiction is much more inexplicably coincidental.

Elsewhere, Sheree and Cynthia had come to visit Phaedra and see the baby, complete with another of Sheree’s possibly fake Birkins and some more of Ayden’s bodily fluids making a surprise appearance, this time by the way of puke on Cynthia’s dress. Mercifully, other than Phaedra’s proclamation that Apollo doesn’t know what to do with a baby because god gave him a penis, that was basically all we saw of our favorite lip gloss addict last night

Back on the bus, it was finally time to stop and feed Kim, and the group chose one of those backroads, rural Georgia barbecue places that looks like it will probably give you E. Coli but, in reality, probably has the best ribs on the face of the planet and surely the best you’ve ever tasted in the course of your humble existence. The more a barbecue joint looks like it came straight out of Deliverance, the better the food. So if your local place serves on real plates and gives you metal utensils, move on. Find a place with styrofoam plates and plastic forks. You’ll thank me later.

I would have been thrilled to eat at the barbecue shack, but Kim was not as excited because she doesn’t eat meat. Except that chicken finger that we saw her shove down her gullet a couple of weeks ago. She eats that meat, but not the meat at the barbecue shop, despite the fact that every barbecue shop on the face of the planet has chicken somewhere on its menu. This is the South, believe you me, there will be chicken. Instead, she had a glass of wine and a cigarette on a lawn chair outside of the bus and one of her tourmates said that she looked like a plantation owner, which probably didn’t help anything at all. The most interesting thing about the entire scene wasn’t the plantation comment or the barbecue – it was how everyone jumps when Kim tells them to. They may complain about her ordering people around, but maybe she’d stop being so demanding and annoying if everyone stopped letting it be such an effective tactic.

Next, Cynthia and Peter sat down to discuss finances, and Peter sprung a bit of a surprise on Cynthia, to say the least: Uptown Supper Club is closed. Despite the fact that Cynthia put tens of thousands of dollars of her own money into the business, Peter chose to close it without consulting her and then cussed at her when she asked him how they were going to deal with the money issues. When she started to cry, he told her that he was never going to tell her anything, ever again. That brings up two questions. First, did he ever tell her anything in the first place? Second, does she still have Leon’s phone number? I’d use this space to implore Cynthia to stop thinking about her wedding and start thinking about her potential marriage and run for the hills, but we all know that Cynthia and Peter did eventually get hitched, so instead, let’s all take a moment of silence for Cynthia’s self-respect.

Back on the bus, everyone was irritated with how Kim orders around Sweetie, and I can’t really decide how I feel about the situation. When you pay a personal assistant, you pay for the privilege of ordering her around, and that’s what Kim does and she’d probably do it in the exact same way, no matter who her assistant was. But then again, if everyone else on the bus was getting a nasty vibe from the Kim-Sweetie dynamic, I’m inclined to believe them. They know and like Kim in everyday life, so whatever’s going on (and we’re not seeing all of it, obviously), I doubt they’re overreacting.

The entire crew finally pulled into their hotel in Orlando, at which point Kim melted into the couch to beg her 25-year-old boy toy and future baby daddy to come see her and yell at Sweetie some more. Nene showed up soon to compare Gucci shoes and complain about Kim’s smoking (take a number, honey), but after a wardrobe change, they were off to the strip mall venue where Kandi and Kim were set to perform. It’s kind of embarrassing to be playing venues that are located adjacent to a Firehouse Subs. But then again, at least you have a source of convenient snacks.

Back on the bus, Nene got drunk and made fun of Kim, foreshadowing the fight that would go down the next day when everyone reconvened to head to Miami for the next show and Cynthia’s batchelorette weekend. Before Kim and Sweetie arrived on the bus, Nene got together with everyone else and discussed Kim’s inappropriate treatment of Sweetie and whether or not it was offensive or just bitchy. It’s impossible for us to know the details of everything that went on, but like I said before, I’m inclined to believe the group if they come to a clear consensus. The consensus? Offensive.

As if on cue (and let’s face it, there was probably a cue involved), Kim and Sweetie hopped on the bus and things devolved like only Nene’s presence can make them devolve. Kim’s constant swearing at Sweetie proved to be the catalyst for Nene’s meltdown, but the bulk of the fight didn’t seem to be about that at all. Tensions had already been wound up by a previous remark about white people not wearing shoes (I don’t like wearing shoes if I can avoid it, so, uh, true stereotype?), and once Nene started to unravel, Kim went right down the rabbit hole after her.

It seems like in Real Housewives, someone is always accusing someone else of being jealous, but in the case of Kim and Nene, it might be true. Nene really came unhinged when Kim said that Sweetie and Don Juan would also need hotel rooms in Miami Beach, which apparently was more charity than Nene was willing to show to the help. For someone who seemed to be so upset over Kim’s treatment of Sweetie, which is legitimately bad most of the time, it struck me as odd that Nene’s real anger came out when Kim suggested doing something nice for not only her assistant, but also Kandi’s tour manager, who isn’t even nice to her and may or may not have called her a hippo last week.

I’ve met Nene in person, and although it was brief, I seriously doubt she has any particular concern for anyone else’s treatment if it doesn’t also bolster her own position in some sort of convenient way. I have no doubt that everyone else on the bus was made genuinely uncomfortable by Kim and Sweetie; I do genuinely doubt that Nene saw it as anything but a way to attack Kim when she got pissed off over something completely unrelated. Nene took plenty of cheap shots at Kim’s presence on the tour and her somewhat spotty “career,” despite the fact that she had to use Kim as an opening to get Jermain Dupri to talk to her and the whole reason that she was sitting on that bus in the first place was because Kim invited her on the tour.

Because neither Kim nor Nene is particularly intelligent or articulate, they called each other stupid and swore at each other and Nene called Sweetie Kim’s slave and lunged at her, requiring physical restraint by a man who was pitifully too small to stop someone like Nene from doing anything she really had her mind set on doing. Once they were separated, Nene continued to rant to herself and call Kim trash and generally act like someone sorely in need of some anger management classes and perhaps a Xanax or four.

Nene and Kim are entertaining, particularly when they fight, because you never know which one is going to take a swing or say something that you should never, ever utter to another human being, which is what made last night’s fight an event that caused me to switch over from the Golden Globes and sit through an extra long episode just to see it. And if you’ve been a longtime Housewives fan, you know that next week is going to be even crazier – put these broads in a beach house together while everyone hates everyone else, and we might get Crazy Island Part 2. Here’s hoping that Kelly Bensimon shows up.

Share Your Thoughts With Us

  • Kells

    I’m only going to call this a good season if someone’s wig and/or weave gets pulled. Housewife history shows us that the all the best seasons include some inappropriate hair yanking at some point. Here’s hoping the beach house drama delivers! (ipad)

  • cl

    loved the review! i agree that kim & nene are ALWAYS entertaining… & kim saying that their friendship was over after nene got out of her seat? I’ll believe it when i see it; she’s said that NUMEROUS times on the show already & well, they’re still “friends.” But nene… she’s my all time FAVE atl housewife (ipad)

  • Shana

    I spent Saturday defending my love of the RH series .. I should just send everyone this review (ipad)

  • coachwife6

    Great writeup (ipad)

    • PrettyMean


  • Emma G

    I must watch this show (ipad)

  • Heather

    Wow – I have always thought that franchise (RH) was a trainwreck, and this seems to confirm it. I was glad that I could learn about it without having to watch it! (ipad)

    • swati

      my sentiments exactly :) i don’t watch the show but i love reading the write ups here. Guilty pleasure (ipad)

  • Leah

    I didn’t catch last night’s show (new Masterpiece Theatre on PBS is rocking my Sunday night world) BUT I feel like I watched it now – thank! (ipad)

  • Kris

    Amanda, I can’t get past the first paragraph! Ricky Gervais was “in that zone” all night, but I too, turned to RHOA and missed the best part. Curses!!! (ipad)

  • Handbag Lover

    Very Funny, good article!!! (ipad)

  • Sherry in Indy

    Years later, I am still waiting for all the jealousy to kick in….??

    Seriously-WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE????

  • ninjaninja

    I knew NeNe would instigate another fight with Kim! (ipad)

  • ninjaninja

    Only a matter of time (ipad)

  • qudz

    the writeups are soo much more entertaining then the show so i dont even bother to watch it anymore, at least not till ive read abt it here first lol. Ps, i cant waitt to see nene get all crazy in front of the donald lol. I may have to actually watch the celeb apprentice now! (ipad)

  • Lorie

    I was screaming at the tv last night that Kim DOES TOO eat meat!! She was gnawing down on some chicken (and wasn’t that pepperoni pizza) under the fat-burning laser contraption. She is such a lie box!

    I have a hard time feeling sorry for Kandi and crew on the tour bus. Kandi invited Kim. She knew better. It’s her own fault that Kim’s on there. So I have no sympathy for what they’re putting up with.

    And I certainly hope that Kim has given up all that smoking and drinking while she’s pregnant.

    • “Lie box” is absolutely my favorite phrase of the day.

      • Sherry in Indy

        Agreed!! Isn’t that a great couple of snarky words??! Kudos! :<)

      • Lorie

        Oh LOL. That’s an expression that’s been used in my family for forever. :-)

      • VSOP

        I will test it out tonight on my teenager daughter… I’ll let you know her reaction tomorrow.

        don’t be such a “lie-box” ha ha ha

        I can guarantee an eyeroll, everything else will be unpredictable.

  • Jan

    If you watched after the show with Randy Cohen…NeNe hasn’t spoken to Kim since last July. Iman was also a guest and watching her watch some of the outtakes from the show was a hoot. She could not believe what she was saeeing and hearing. Nene is just so FULL of herself, and Kim is such a biotch.
    It’s laughable to me that any of them have friends!

    • ok123

      andy cohen (ipad)

  • Sue E

    I stopped watching the show but always read your write up and realize that I’m glad I stopped watching that mess (ipad)

  • Kathleen

    Nice review (ipad)

  • Jade G

    Love following this show! (ipad)

  • quimerula

    Just O_O (ipad).

  • ninjaninja

    How did I miss the part where Sweetie injected Kim with B12? (ipad)

  • ninjaninja

    I really despise Cynthia’s husband. What a controlling, mentally abusive a hole (ipad)

  • PhotoGirl

    Anger management for NeNe.

    A reading of the Thirteenth Amendment for Kim. (Someone would have to read it to her, of course. I am not imagining for a minute that she is capable of managing that little piece of history all by herself.)

    A little self-respect (and a better wardrobe) for Sweetie.

    A rock-solid prenup for Cynthia. (I hope!)

    And, above all, a Webby for Amanda, whose recaps of RHOA are far better than the show itself. (ipad)

  • Marianna

    Amanda, you rock! You do such a great recap of something that can only be thought of as a Hot Mess! (ipad)

  • Jen

    I’d really love 20 g’s right now ;) (ipad)

  • beanyce126

    rhoa are a funny case, but darn that Kim Z just seems to have a lot of LV going on (ipad

  • beanyce126

    how bout Kim Z wig stylist caring that LV ALma, you go love that color in the vernis. (ipad)

  • Jacqueline Suzanne

    Excelent recap!! Love RHOA!!! (ipad)

  • Dana

    why does kim not realize that she is not and will never be a pop star. first off, people who are actually serious about their craft would not be smoking every hour! she is truly a mess (ipad)

  • Elizabeth

    I’d prefer to watch Ricky Gervais… ! (ipad)

    • suz

      I agree. I DVR’d the Golden Globes and only watched Ricky and the announcements of the winners. The rest was all about the fashion and that you can do in fast forward.

  • Joyce

    How about they give me the 20G’s? (ipad)

  • Cara

    I had to turn it off! I love that I can read the recap and find out what happened. Now I know I will have to try to tune in next week for the big fight! (Ipad)

  • suz

    Love, love, love your recap. However, I just can’t seem to settle in and actually watch the show. I’m thinking there’s something about it that may just be too much like a rather crappy old fashioned sit-com that I would probably never watch either. But, that said, I do like to keep up with the antics of these crazy broads. So, thanks, Amanda, for the recaps and thanks to everyone else for your comments.

  • Chic ‘n Cheap Living

    I haven’t watched the show yet but fake entertainment reporting and fights definitely makes for good reality tv! (ipad)

  • Manuela

    This episode is reairing right now and I’m watching the Peter/Cynthia exchange to see if it’s as disturbing as I remember it from last night…

    Ugh! Yep, the only semblance of a smile that goes over that man’s face is when Cynthia starts to cry. How gross; is this his inappropriate response to stress or is he glad to have Cynthia vulnerable and hold that over her?! Gross.

    And I’d have been up his butt sideways with a cedar tree after he then tried justifying all future instances of keeping me out of the loop. Peter sucks.

  • Jess

    Nene went absolutely crazy on the bus. It escalated so quickly – sad to see. (ipad)

    • Mimi

      NeNe is not as crazy as she pretends to be. I haven’t seen her jump in Kandi’s face again. She may win the fight, but not without some serious collateral damage! ;-)

  • Lorie

    Is Sweetie’s real name Sweetie? Or is that just a nickname?

  • joycee

    Interesting write up..now I’m thinking of hoping on the RH train (ipad)

  • Tonya

    lol I can’t get pass NeNe’s hair color – me no likey!! (ipad)

  • Bagolicious

    Cynthia just acted pathetic. The red flags couldn’t have been any redder. Now, if I had put in a substantial amount of money into a business and then the other business partner came in and dropped such a bomb in my lap, I would be beyond livid. And then to have the audacity to say that he didn’t want to discuss it, topped with commenting that he’d never tell her anything again? Oh, really? Well, we would be discussing it.

    But, what does Cynthia do? She just goes on and on about what to do about the wedding. Huh? What to do about the wedding would be to cancel both it and him.

    As for Nene and the comment to Kim about her being allergic to cigarette smoke, what bull. A few episodes back, she was smoking a cigarette with Kim.

    I missed the last part of the program. I set the DVR player for an hour, but the show went over an hour. So, I’m watching the rerun episode that was before this episode and hopefully this episode will play next.

  • Jenn

    Good show (ipad)

  • Jenn

    $20000 would buy me a lot of ipads (ipad)

  • Elaine

    Wow how many Real Housewives spin-offs are there? (ipad)

  • erica

    If 20 G’s wasn’t a lot of money then broke ass Peter would have it. And doesn’t Uptown Supper Club sound like a fake tv sitcom restaurant name…like something Tommy from the show Martin would say he owns, another non-job having man.

    Nene, it’s getting hard for me to like you when you’re wrong. Her dog is named Playa, but she is most definitely a Hater! Stop worrying about Kim and do you!!

    That meat shop looked crazy. I mean that had to be the sloppiest, palest pork sandwich I ever saw on that grill and that rib was ginormous but gross looking. I can whip up way better looking barbeque than even Kim would eat.

    Kim’s crying kids are getting on my nerves, your mom is on “tour”, not Afghanistan.

  • nick

    Thanks for the summary! (ipad)

  • nick

    Is Cynthia really gonna marry Peter??? (ipad)

  • Pam

    Good article.(ipad)

  • Tracey G

    great review, love the RH series (ipad)

  • Mimi

    Being a reality TV ho…excuse me….”starring” on a reality TV show, does not automatically qualify one as an entertainment reporter. NeNe is much less painful to watch when she’s acting a downright fool, not taking herself seriously.

    Amanda, your recaps make my day!

  • SS

    I need to catch up on RHOA. Those women are hilarious. (ipad)

  • dalex

    This episode was entertaining to say the least! Nene and Kim are back and forth. (ipad)

  • JohnnieGirlAtl

    RHOA is one of my seriously guilty pleasures! Thanks for the great recap (with cool insights)! (ipad)

  • Joy

    I still don’t understand why Cynthia married Peter. She seems so weak-willed. (iPad)

  • S.J.

    20,000 dollars is alot of money lol (ipad)

    • MJF

      YES IT IS …lol

  • S.J.

    i feel like of cynthia didnt want to get married the she shouldnt have (ipad)

  • S.J.

    sometimes relationships are better off with out marriage (ipad)


    def a guilty pleasure (ipad)


    i just cant help myself (ipad)

  • Engrmom

    Cynthia really need help. Would she rather have a happy marriage than extravagant wedding. Big wedding does not always equal happily ever after i. e. Mellissa River. (iPad)

  • Annemarie

    I love NeNe but tonight she was wrong, rude and downrite cruel. (ipad)

  • amy

    i did find that odd as well that NeNe refused that Sweetie and DonJuan to get a room for themselves in the hotel, and instead went off on an tangent about, “girls night”. Great recap.

  • nini

    That is a lot of money. (ipad)

  • Smith

    someone remind me again why nene and kim are friends? tho i’m team nene here. kim is worthless! (ipad)

  • Deborah Curran

    I’m sorry but I can not stomach that show – ipad

  • Mel

    Craziest bunch, seriously! (ipad)

  • April bishop

    Thanks! I just ordered one. This will help out with all the unpredictable weather we get these days.

  • Tracey G

    these women are nuts haha (ipad)

  • Quinn

    This episode was filled with craziness! Cynthia was obviously more concerned with the actual wedding then the fact that her man has no steady stream of income coming in! (ipad)

  • sneezz

    Wow I wish I could say that line haha. (iPad)

  • Sheena

    Cynthia should not marry Peter…Girl go back to Leon. Is anybody sick of Nenes’ and Kims’ constant fights….NOPE because I’m not. I think Nene and KIm have the hots for each other…lol! (iPad)

  • Irene

    OMG!!!!! Amanda…just BRILLIANT!!!!!!!! Love your recaps.

  • Alicia

    Too funny! Love it (ipad)

  • m1ni

    Can’t stand Nene anymore..(ipad)

  • Ladonna

    Cynthia should have never even CONSIDERED marrying that man because he has no income. He cannot provide for her like she can provide for herself. Girlfriend better get back with the backers she had before she moved her behind to ATL and get to working, and forget him! Everyone was wrong for calling Kim some kind of plantation owner or some such shit as that-that is racist from a black person. Sweetie does what Kim tells her to do because she is an employee, she works for Kim, she is probably paid more money from Kim than she could make anywhere else and if she didn’t like it/couldn’t stand it/can’t take it anymore…she can always quit and tell Kim to kiss her behind!And I myself would not be happy with that bus business. I don’t smoke but I have family members who do, and when they need to smoke, they need to smoke and Kandi knew this when the tour was planned, next, something was said about someone saying something to Kandis’ asst, well, the first part of the tour, Kandis asst talked to Kim like a dog, like Kim worked for him. He needs to get over himself too. I love this show. Can’t wait until the next one-

    • PrettyMean


  • Chick

    The condition of Kim’s Wig Wrangler’s LV Vernis Alma Amarante was cringeworthy. Clearly he beats up on his beautiful vernis bag to have it all wonky and out of shape like that. For SHAME! (ipad)

  • FashionIsMyHobby

    I could do other things with 20K$ (ipad)

  • helen

    lol I beg to differ. $20K IS a lot of money. (ipad)

  • Jsays

    people amaze me, these shows are rich luny housewives but I cant stop watching.(ipad)

  • ellen

    not a lot of money?! ouch

  • mango

    kim is a mess!!!! (ipad)

  • ninjaninja

    I wonder who’s next season’s villain (ipad)

  • ninjaninja

    None of these ladies have money (ipad)

  • ninjaninja

    I bet there’s going to be some hair pulling this season again (ipad)

  • ninjaninja

    Kim wig is terrible (ipad)

  • PrettyMean

    Cynthia, NeNe clearly wants Peter – although I def feel U should run for the hills(from Peter) she clearly should be dismissed as a confidant.

    Kim NeNe is hating – Hired help is hired help they have the option to leave should the demands of the job not appeal to them.

    NeNe what happened I loved u once upon a time?!

    Team Sheree from this day – (also secretly loving Kim)

    Phaedra Im not sure how I feel about u :(

    Candy for once u were out of line, please do not make Don Juan a permanent fixture (talk about annoying)

    • PrettyMean

      Also Kim love the songs. Do like Jermaine Dupri, pay NeNe no mind.

  • c.c.

    I hate to say this, and I’m no Kim fan but sometimes this show verges into the ‘pick on the white chick’ catagory.

    • Ladonna

      Thank you, been in that position and its very close to bullying-Nene could get all up in my face pointing her finger, shouting, and telling me what she was gonna do but I bet she wouldn’t do it but once. Ida flipped her over that seat and kicked that line backer clear off that bus. The very idea-and Nene was riding with them on the old bus cuz it was free! She told Kim to be careful what she said to a sistah??? Ida told her you better watch what you say to an old nurse with rough edges-ida got her ass!

  • Desaria

    ummm that’s a lot of money (ipad)

  • ninjaninja

    Nobody can win (ipad)

  • ninjaninja

    Nene is freaking crazy this season (ipad)

  • ninjaninja

    But I might lose it too (ipad)

  • ninjaninja

    If I was going through a divorce (ipad)

  • ninjaninja

    But that’s not an excuse to attack people like that (ipad)

  • ninjaninja

    Crazy Nene (ipad)

  • Beth

    $20,000 would buy a nice “entry” level Birken!

  • Ashley

    wish i could say $20,000 isnt a lot lol (ipad)

  • yousuf

    If you need any lawn care servicies please find lawn care profressional in the link


Psssst... Let's Get Purseonal