Y’all, she said it. It happened. Camille finally quit dancing around the subject and forcing us to make conjectures based on her actions and she just came out with it: she thinks she’s better than anyone who is not married to Kelsey Grammer. Which forces us to wonder: Where will Camille find her self-worth now that she’s getting divorced and he got some other bimbo pregnant?

That wasn’t the only thing that happened on last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, but it might as well have been. It’s what we (the royal “we,” anyway) have been waiting for since this godforsaken show started, and finally hearing it made sitting through the 40 or so minutes of squishy middle in last night’s episode totally worth it. In fact, it’s for the best that nothing happened in that long middle stretch, because if actual things had occurred, this recap would have ended up a full-length novel.

We started right back at the contentious New York dinner table that we left at the end of last week’s episode, and Camille was still trying to pull everyone into her version of reality. You know the drill: Camille claimed to be painfully shy, Kyle made the mistake of using “insecure” as a synonym for “painfully shy,” (which it sort of is), and Camille thought about it for fifteen minutes before deciding that blowing up at Kyle presented an attractive opportunity for additional camera time. Oh, and that fight was actually about a completely different fight that occurred in Vegas. I figured I should make sure that we’re all caught up, because I spent half of the episode trying to remember why everyone was so pissed in the first place.

Once the Camille/Kyle verbal slugfest (actually, it was more of a welterweight bout, wasn’t it?) had reached its logical extreme, the opportunity was nigh for the rest of the castmates to get in on the camera time. Kyle asked Kim, who was present for the initial altercation, to vouch for what was said, and Kim…balked. During her solo interview, Kim corroborated Kyle’s version of events and specifically said that she never heard what Camille claimed to hear, but when it came time to actually stand up to Camille in person, she couldn’t. I don’t care how much you’re trying to hedge your position in an unpleasant situation or not piss off this new person who might be your friend, you have to back up your family.

Sensing a new weak link in the conversation, Camille and Taylor seized on Kim because Taylor had apparently mentioned to Camille off-camera that Kim had said Camille was insecure while they were all back at the airport, and she had also told Camille that Lisa was goading Taylor into saying bad things about Camille on the plane which may or may not have involved insecurity, I’m not sure, at which point Camille popped up in her solo interview to say that Lisa’s part in the whole kerfuffle was “very Machiavellic in its nature.”

Let’s pause here so I can catch my breath and you all can try to parse what I just said. Although don’t try too hard, it’ll probably just give you a headache, since that’s the effect it had on me while I wrote it.

I loathe Camille for a lot of reasons, really. I mean, with so many from which to pick, where do I even start? I hate that she managed to engage in so much high school drama that I had to write the longest run-on sentence in the history of my career in order to explain it, for one. I also hate her because she’s one of Those Women who think that everyone is jealous of them because they’re so fabulous, but in reality, everyone just hates them for being vapid, insufferable, self-aggrandizing morons. But mostly, I hate her because not only does she clearly lack any functional idea of who Machiavelli was or what his name generally refers to when used as an adjective, but she also doesn’t even really know what the word is that she was trying to misuse just then. Machiavellian, Camille, MachiavelliAN.

And really, we should talk about this in more general terms, because people shouldn’t be using words when they don’t know what they mean. I dated a guy for a while who always said “magnanimous” when he meant “magnificent,” and I didn’t want to be that constantly-correcting girlfriend who nagged him for things like that, so the first few times he said it, I let it slide. And then after a while, I wanted to correct him, but it had been going on for too long and my window of opportunity to do so without sounding like a complete jerk had closed, so I kept my mouth shut. But eventually, we got in a fight about something completely unrelated one day, which I somehow saw fit to end by exclaiming “OH YEAH? WELL “MAGNANIMOUS” DOESN’T MEAN WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS.”

So to all of you people out there who are using big words because you want to sound smart (and Camille effing Grammer is definitely among your ranks), please stop. It puts all of the well-intentioned, quasi-literate people around you in weird positions. Plus, it makes you look dumb. Just use small words and use them correctly. And to my well-intentioned, quasi-literate brethren: The aforementioned tactic is an excellent way to end a fight, or at least to elicit a baffled pause from your opponent while you regroup and/or reload, but I don’t particularly recommend it if you’re hoping to keep that person around in the future.


After she was finished misusing all of the big words that she could find in her head, Camille wandered off and the rest of the group continued to fight amongst themselves. Taylor made some kind of lame threat about “getting Oklahoma” on Kim, and I’m not entirely sure what that even means, and I also have no confidence that Taylor could demonstrate it if asked. I’m from Atlanta. What would it mean if I said I was going to get Atlanta on someone? Ok, well, that might actually mean I’m going to shoot you, and that might not be a bad threat to use in the future. Or maybe it just means I’m going to sit in traffic with you? I don’t know, someone provoke me and see what happens.

Kim also made some vague non-threats about Taylor needing to watch herself, which was just as silly as Taylor’s threat to “get Oklahoma,” because this is not Real Housewives of New Jersey and neither of them were going to flip any tables or yell any obscenities and we all knew it. And then Kim told Kyle that Camille (I don’t like all these alliterative names, it’s confusing) had done a great job making her look stupid, which in addition to being mean, was also not even true. That prompted the rest of the group to get up and leave as well, which meant that the cheese Kim stood alone.

And then what happened? Nothing. All 1400 words of that stuff happened in the first seven minutes, and other than briefly visiting Adrienne while she prepared for her uncle’s funeral and scoping out her GIANT three-dimensional wedding dress display hanging in the hall in her bedroom (Yes, her bedroom has halls within it. What, yours doesn’t?) (Also, did you see the specially lit handbag display? ADRIENNE, ARE YOU AMONG US?), almost nothing went on for the next 40 minutes or so. Lisa’s husband scooped a turtle out of the pool back home and got stuck in the shrubbery. Kyle and Lisa tried on clothes. Everyone hemmed and hawed over whether or not Kyle should go to the opening of Kelsey’s play.

But Kyle did go, probably because the producers told her and Camille that she had to or this wouldn’t really constitute an episode. Everyone went! Not together, though, because Camille needed extra time to talk with her friend/hair stylist in her limo about how everyone, for her entire life, is just so jealous of her. Since we’ve already covered wy that’s a) annoying and b) verifiably false, let’s instead talk about how all of Camille’s friends also double as her employees. This hairstylist was particularly annoying and sycophantic, but I guess you’d have to be really dedicated to your craft as an ass-kisser if you’re going to put up with Camille in any long-term capacity. Speaking of which, did I hear Camille sorta compare the hate crime committed against her gay makeup artist to her getting in fights on a reality TV show about rich ladies? I think I sorta heard that.

Anyway, they all went to the premiere and Camille sat in the audience with Nick, the hot, omnipresent friend who she insists is married and a close friend of Kelsey’s. She also had a completely annoying conversation with Nick later in the episode that we’ll talk about in a second, but now, let’s discuss body language. In both the scenes were Nick was present in tonight’s episode, Camille looked like she was about to make out with him at any moment. They know each other. In the Biblical sense, if you catch my meaning. People who have slept together and who wish to continue to do so have a certain physical way about themselves when they’re together, and those two have it. I’d bet all the money in my bank account on it. Admittedly, that’s not that big of a bet. But still.

When the play ended, Camille ran backstage to congratulate Kelsey on his performance and/or remind all of us that she’s married to him, and for their second scene together in a row, he seemed completely annoyed by and uninterested in her presence. He tried to shoo her out of his dressing room gracefully, but she just kept trying to stay to talk about flowers and signed playbills and how fabulous he was. He eventually got her far enough out the door to shut it in her face, and then it was on to the afterparty! He came off less skeezy than I had expected when faced with the rest of the women, but there was still barely any show of affection or interest toward Camille. Not that I blame him, because how could anyone be genuinely affectionate toward that? But when you compare it to her interaction with Nick, I think it demonstrates my point about those two pretty clearly. What do you call a male mistress? A…mister?

We next saw our housewives back at home in Beverly Hills, discussing the events of the trip with those who stayed at home. Lisa filled in Adrienne and Cedric the housegay, both of whom seemed to agree that the entire thing was ridiculous. Kim presumably sat at home and felt sad. Camille (and this is the really interesting version of the story), for her part, sat down with Nick (of course) to explain her alternate version of reality, in which Kyle attacked her like a “crazed homeless woman” and “raged” at her. Let me know if you noticed any of that actually happening, because I didn’t.

What’s clear, though, is that saying anything to Camille is like playing a game of Telephone with Satan himself. Who knows what your words will turn into after they’ve rattled around in her head cavity for a few minutes, let alone a few days? “Your hair looks great today” turns into, “Your hair usually looks like crap warmed over.” “Kelsey is a sweetheart” turns into, “Why in the world would he be with you? I’m going to steal him and post the pictures of our sexytime on the Internet to taunt you.” “I’m looking forward to the premiere” turns into, THERE’S A BOMB UNDER YOUR SEAT AND IF YOU MOVE YOU WILL ASPLODE.” What goes into her ears is completely unrelated to what eventually comes out of her mouth.

Then, Camille tried to frame the whole blowup as some sort of feminist issue about women not supporting other women, although I’m pretty sure that anyone who speaks openly about being distrustful of the entire gender isn’t really qualified to identify things as being “bad” for women. Camille is bad for women. And in case you were wondering, I can’t start talking about the fact that she was sitting there pretending to read Art of War when her mister showed up, because if I started, I would never stop, and I have things to do today other than rant on the utter and complete improbability of Camille’s ability to read words and think thoughts about them.

But really, the coup de grâce of the entire episode was what Camille said after she was done inaccurately describing what had occurred on the trip. She further explored the idea that Kyle is just jealous of her, and as I mentioned in the introduction (it’s ok if you don’t remember it, that was several thousand words of rage ago), Camille’s real feelings about her worth and that of her costars came out. Camille, you see, is married to an A-list (in her head, at least) celebrity who has won a Golden Globe, for chrissakes, and Kyle’s husband is just…her realtor. He’s the help. In objective reality, a place to which Camille has clearly never been, it seems as though Mauricio’s actually a very successful real estate broker with one of the largest luxury agencies in Los Angeles, and he’s listed right behind the two named partners on the company’s website. He’s not exactly showing condos in the Valley on weekends.

But that doesn’t matter to Camille. Her husband has a name. A name that she’s hell-bent on mentioning, in full, at every opportunity, just to make sure that everyone knows how important she is and how much better she is than people who simply call their husbands by their first names in casual conversation and reality TV interviews. If she just called him Kelsey, maybe not everyone would know who he is, and by extension, maybe they wouldn’t know to have the proper reverence for her. After all, it’s kind of a big accomplishment to have fooled a drunk television actor into marrying you, and then getting him to stay married to you for 13 years after he sobered up and surely realized that you were an awful, insipid, bratty gold digger who couldn’t be bothered to actually carry her own children, let alone raise them.

And I mean, when I think about it, I guess that is sort of an accomplishment. An accomplishment that makes me weep for the eventual fate of humanity, but an accomplishment nonetheless. Who would have thought that anyone would be self-flagellating enough to stay married to that women for more than a decade? But remember, Camille, pride cometh before the fall. And that fall should be happening any week now.

Share Your Thoughts With Us

  • Melissa

    I have been refreshing until this came up! I needed a lunch time diversion :)
    Camille is TERRIBLE!! Viewers of past RH series have been divided over some of the women but if there were ever a cast member that could unite all viewers in enmity, it would have to be Camille.

    Adrienne’s closet was the most luxurious I’ve ever seen in reality or on TV. I’m getting married next year and was wondering what to do with my wedding dress after the nuptials…I could build a house around a glass tomb of my preserved gown with hallways leading to it from all directions…RHBH could film an entire episode from that closet and I would be a very happy girl.

    Just started following you on twitter btw :) I’m a twitter newbie. Happy Friday!

  • Pamela

    Amanda – you are a genius. Seriously. I swear your a human dictionary when it comes to big words (this def makes up for your spelling mistakes).

    Long recap, but definitely LOVED it … I definitely agree, Camille was quite upsetting to watch, but at the same time, I got to admit, I did feel bad for her also because she mentions Kelsey so much, that I’m sure she was blindsided by the divorce. Plus, Kelsey seems to be quite fake about everything. I guess we’ll have to see what happens.

    • Thanks :-). I always reread before I post to try to catch any errors in typing, but after a certain point, the words all start to blur together.

      • Musette

        Spelling Pass! I am usually Spelling/Punctuation Freak but you get my pass for an entire year, just on the basis of “playing a game of Telephone with Satan himself”. I have to go now – monitor-cleaning time. I was drinking coffee when I read that!


    • ala

      @Pamela I think you mean “you’re.” I don’t care, just thought this was ironic :)

      I remember Kelsey Grammer saying once that he and his wife liked to stay home and play Scrabble. I always thought that was interesting because she looked like a typical bimbo. I thought, hmmm, maybe she is intelligent. But apparently she is just good at spelling words that have seven letters or less.

      Btw did Camille actually say in one of the earlier episodes that she had her implants removed? By “removed” she must have meant removed and replaced with slightly smaller ones?!

  • S

    Camille is unbelievable -I’m shocked by the things that come out of her mouth. But when Kelsey acted so distant and was in such a hurry to usher Camille out when she went to visit him, I kinda felt bad for her. Who acts that way to their wife?
    As for Kim – I feel for her. I really think she’s too slow to know what to say when faced with confrontation. Even the way she responded to Taylor when Taylor made the OK comment was lame. I get the feeling Kim loves her sister but isn’t smart or socially aware enough to defend her.
    And I know this isn’t very kind of me, but I didn’t mind that Kim didn’t defend Kyle. Kyle has said so many nasty things about Kim to the camera and then expects Kim to jump to her defense? And what’s with Lisa dragging Kyle away and leaving Kim all by herself? Some people. Why not just say, “Let’s just call it a night?”

  • Leslie

    Is it sad that I read this recaps prior to watching it on my DVR? Love it…

    Just curious…Did anyone else notice when Taylor was packing for her husband before the Jay-Z concert that she was pulling out wire hangers from their closet? I mean some of them looked like old dry cleaning hangers.
    I just found this hilarious…you would think that they would have designer hangers…since they spent $50K on her kid’s b-day party…

    • I think that this is a really interesting observation, actually.

      Taylor’s husband filed for bankruptcy in 2005, and if Real Housewives has taught us anything, it’s that the women whose husbands don’t have easily-described jobs (think Teresa, Nene, etc.) are usually the ones who end up in financial trouble. It wouldn’t surprise me at all to find out that Taylor and Russell don’t actually have a great deal of money, but they spend lavishly on the things that people see (birthday parties) and let the private things languish (not even I will use wire hangers, and I’m a 24-year-old blogger) in order to keep up appearances of wealth.

      They certainly wouldn’t be the first to do it, and I think it will be interesting to see when/if the other shoe drops on them.

      • Leslie

        Ok…I so I have now watched the episode and I have to be honest…the review by Amanda was way more entertaining than the show. Camille is a liquid hot mess, which is a step up from a hot mess in the fact that moves about and is hard to catch. She physically makes me angry, I do not understand how one person can be so clueless. And in one of the final interviews when Camille is chatting about how Kelsey is this “A,” listed actor and Kyle’s husband is nothing…and basically how Kyle is jealous…I believe the woman was projecting…because I think it’s Camille that is jealous of Kyle…who’s husband seems to love his wife and kids and while he may not make the supposed bank that Kelsey Grammar does, he’s hot and appreciates his family.
        Also on a total side note…I think I have a girl crush on Lisa and Adrienne…I sometimes wish the show was just about them…ha! ha!

  • Jess

    I thought Taylor told Camille that Kyle was goading Taylor into saying Camille was insecure, and that Kyle’s behavior was “Machiavellic.”

    Anyway, loved your recap! I thought the whole interaction between Kelsey (Grammar) and Camille in his dressing room after the show was so awkward and so not how a married couple normally would behave. I can see why they split up.

  • Marlene

    Brilliant recap. Although you think not much actually happened, last nights episode was one of the most intriguing Housewives episodes Ive seen. Camille’s bat-craziness is mindblowing. I almost felt sorry for her when Kelsey closed the door on her, but only almost. i wonder what really is going on with Nick, his wife and herself. The Kim and Kyle relationship is weird too. Poor Kyle needed her sister and it seemed like Kim finally got to exact some kinda revenge almost…

  • Mindy


    You hit the nail on the head with this recap. I cannot STAND Camille. I am actually looking forward to watching her life fall apart when she gets the D-bomb from Kelsey (not I am not normally a catty woman and I would usually feel really bad for someone who is dumped by their husband for another woman). However who can blame the man for running far and fast away from this horrible wife (and mother)!

    And Kyle’s husband should fire her as a client…..I’m a realtor and sometimes clients like Camille are just not worth the trouble no matter how big the commission check is.

    I did enjoy watching the guys handle the kids (and turtles) while the ladies were gone.

  • Maryann

    Amanda, you are brilliant! I could not wait to read today’s recap! Camille makes my skin crawl. Can you imagine being one of her staff and having to listen to that day in an day out? I’d last about five minutes. There is not enough money to have to listen to her bragging or to hear how busy she is. I feel so sorry for her children. It’s almost like she doesn’t know how to interact with them or she’s uncomfortable. I guess so when you have four nannies in rotation. She is just UNBEARABLE. She brings out the high school mean girl in me particularly when she is alone talking to the camera and does that thing where she smugly rolls her eyes over to the side.

  • Linda

    Amanda, that was just too hysterical and pretty much exactly what I thought on every point. I don’t think loathe is strong enough for how I feel that this woman!!! Did you hear me screaming “me too!!! me too!!!!?? No wonder Kelsey left her. My husband happened to come into the room (he hates any of the RH shows-his loss) when she asked Nick if she was showing too much cleavage (who does that to a guy friend if, as you mentioned, they weren’t Biblically intertwined in the past and/or didn’t just want yet MORE self-gratification, ARGHHH) and said, and I’m quoting his POV here so I don’t mean to be offensive: “Who’s that fugly b*****”. Oh well, so much for everyone having a reason to be so jealous of her. I personally like Lisa & Kyle more each week. Lisa shows real class & I love Giggy. Can’t wait for next week’s show and your thoughts on it although I will either have to FF through her scenes or have my barf-bag on hand!!!

  • Sherry in Indy

    I too read the blog before watching the foolishness on DVR….

    I have nothing to say. It’s just incredible the delusion that resides in that chick’s head….

    Great job, Amanda!!

  • suz

    Your recap….great, great, great…..but even your journalistic talents don’t really get to the depth Camille’s awfulness. At least Kelly and Danille have formidable and secure going for them, even if it stems from crazy. This woman is just crazy Barbie doll eyes staring out of a vapid pudding of a face. I have to say, I think Kelsey is just about as abhorrant…so maybe they actually deserved each other. His interaction with his children was pretty darn detached. Am I crazy or did Camille pronounce voila “wala” in last weeks episode? Great reading…..thanks for making a hum-drum Friday, so much fun!

  • Carla

    Oooh, my favorite part was at the end when Mister said Kelsey was actually a really good singer and Camille said, “Thank you!”. Unreal. Just unreal!

  • bjf


    Loved the recap!!! You are amazing. FYI…..I’m from Oklahoma and ” get oklahoma” means “opening a can of whop ass on you”. Usually people doing that wear overalls, no shirt and don’t have any teeth. I wonder where in Oklahoma she is from????? We aren’t all like that!!!!!

  • Lorie

    Bravo! (pardon the pun) Your recap is perfect.

    I would add my own two cents worth, but I’m not sure I can construct a coherent thought. Camille makes me want to poke my eyes out with a stick.

    Wait, I do want to say that Camille is absolutely doing Nick the friend – and doing him regularly.

  • Lisa in Oregon

    I loved it when Camille referred to her makeup artist and hair stylist as her “real friends.” They kissed her backside while she smirked and ate up the adoration. The best part was when the makeup artist winked at the hairstylist while empathizing with poor little Camille. Laughed out loud at that one!

  • Mari

    Never watched this. Never wanted to. But had some curiosity about Mrs. Grammer nonetheless and then stumbled onto Amanda Mull’s recap.

    But I must’ve missed something – I thought Evil Camille was the one who initiated the divorce.

    Amanda just saved me lots of time. A good writer with a wicked sense of humor — long-running sentences and all!

    You’d be a lot of fun to hang with!

  • Jo

    Great recap as always, Amanda. Most commenters here already said how I feel about this episode but I have one more thing to mention. Am I the only one who wanted to throw my remote at the TV when Camille said “I swear on my mother who has cancer” when she was accusing Kyle of saying something which she didn’t say? I can’t believe she said that.
    Actually, I do because she’s THAT aweful and mindless of a bimbo.

  • Jamie

    Great recap!!! Always makes me laugh. Camille is a total douche bag. So many things about her drive me insane and I think you covered most if not all of her stupidity. I wanted to smack her many times…Im always shocked at her relationship with her “family friend” that always visits her, She gave him such bedroom eyes when they were talking in this episode. I can not even imagine any friend of ours gazing so loving into my husbands eyes and hugging and kissing. It was almost uncomfortable to watch. Well, that and a million other things. Good Job Amanda. You nailed it! :)

  • Stacy Burleson

    Haaa…my thoughts exactly!! I hate Camille, its going to be hilarious to see what she does when Kelsey leaves her, her botox might just wear off and she might get a few wrinkles ;)

  • Car

    Your recap is spot on! What about Nick’s wife who appeared in an episode a week or so ago – is she part of the a-kissing entourage as well?! I was talking with a friend today about watching this show and neither of us can believe we love/hate it so much, but we have to keep on watching – we can’t explain it. It’s sort of like watching Lock Up or Hoarders – you just can’t turn away, even though you know it feels so wasteful and wrong. I can’t wait to see the big Kelsey blow-off show – who will her “real friends” be then?

  • EllenR

    I nearly choked with laughter at Camille “reading” the art of war. The only thing that could have made that even more perfect would be if it were upside down. She’s petty, delusional and dumb as a box of hammers. My only other favorite moment was with Lisa’s husband and Giggy–both husband and dog were wearing matching polo shirts.

  • BeHappy

    camille thinks way to highly of her self ! Kyle should have taken her out…lol…I hope she is just acting . because if that is how she really acts.. god help her !!

  • Danieli

    All I know, is I hope and pray that Kelsey sees this episode, The Art of War? Really?

  • Handbag Lover

    Sorry so late, Amanda, Good recap! Camille is her biggest fan, she really needs a reality check. The other part of the show was okay but the style was SICK! The red Chanel was …oh …so HAWT!

  • Steph

    Amanda, been reading your housewives recap since the last season of the NY housewives. You make watching this show worth while! Beverly hills has been my favorite so far. Love love Lisa, and her husband was beyond cute walking around the grounds with the dogs. Adrienne’s closet, well now I know what to put on my x-mas list.
    Camille…oh what a mess. I’ve never seen someone so into herself. Last week with her mother was disgusting, not even able to make time for sick mom. She needs therapy just like Kyle said she does. And honestly no one is jealous of her plastic face, fake boobs, fake mom to her kids (4 nannies really WTF?!), or who she is married to. Funny thought though nick saids that Kelsey is a good friend of his, maybe he hired nick to keep her occupied and out of his hair so he can do his own thing…just a thought.

    By the way, taylor’s husband anyone else think he looks like the turtle from an episode of sex and city!

    Sorry so long!

    • KCALB

      Steph, I like that idea about Nick being paid by Kelsey to keep Camille occupied hehe that wouldn’t actually surprise me;)

  • Hannah

    It’s funny Camille should bring up pecking order when Kyle has far more “A-List Celebrity” relatives than Kelsey Grammer. Camile seriously is delusional and the things that come out of her mouth almost make me uncomfortable. I said it at the beginning of the season and I’ll say it again now, I LOVE KYLE.

    P.S. This Nick character is kind of questionable. Do we know who he is and why he is always showing up everywhere?

  • Lilac

    “What’s clear, though, is that saying anything to Camille is like playing a game of Telephone with Satan himself.”
    LOL Amanda you pretty summed up the entire fight with that sentence. You are hilarious!

    Do you know if that hairdresser is that same “best friend” she brought with her on Hawaii?

    I’ve also been wondering what type of job Nick has since he always seems to have time for “afternoon tennis” and is always showing up to every city Camille happens to be at. How inappropriate was it that he went to New York, sat front and center with Camille without his wife? I don’t know any woman who would be ok with that unless her husband was getting paid major money to have this “understanding”.

    Anyways, when I saw that book in her hand, I had to give her credit for not pretending she had read a great deal of it. (You could see she was probably still on the title page)

    Taylor disgusts me with her little comments about Kim. When Kim gave everyone a bracelet and Taylor harped about how it didn’t come with an apology she didn’t deserve? Ick.

    Lisa’s line with the ticker was the best one yet.

  • kemilia

    Camille is awful, I cannot wait until the divorce brick hits her. I know she probably did or will get gobs of money because I heard there was no prenup, but she won’t be married to an A-lister anymore.

    I loved seeing Adrienne’s bedroom compound or what ever it’s called when you have halls in your b-room. I loved seeing the watch winders–wow.

    Great recap, as always!

  • RedHead

    Best Part(s) of this RHBH Episode:

    1.) Paul’s rotating watch holders in the closet.
    2.) Giggy and Ken’s matching purple tee’s.
    3.) The term “Dodgy Ticker”.
    4.) Amanda’s Blog:-)

    **The rumors on the internet are that Camille was a high-priced escort when she met Kelsy…anyone else read that? Hmmm…

  • suz

    I just caught a few snippets of Nick/Camille interaction. I agree with the idea he is paid by Kelsey to keep baby sit her. To me, he looked uncomfortable and rathere repulsed by her. Ugh!

  • Matthew

    Nick is hot.

  • suz

    Oh my goodness….(I just cannot bring myself to actually sit down and watch the show so I have the DVR from last weeks running in the background)…that hot mess Camille cannot speak English….add to the growing list of gaffs….I just heard her call Kyle….not once, but twice….PREnicious.

  • Plain_Jane_Too

    I agree with all you wrote in this article, great and entertaining!

    As much as it would have been rude, what Kyle may or may not have said is absolutely correct.

    What is Camille without Kelsey Grammer? nothing..
    Is she insecure because deep in her heart she knows this to be true? Oh heck, yes!

    She’s milking what she thought she heard because it’s her time “to shine” and she thought it was very rude and would garner support (true, in real life you wouldn’t say that to anyone in their face).

  • pursemonkey

    Amanda, this whole mind-reading thing you’re doing with me is starting to get creepy. Seriously, you write exactly what I’m thinking only in a much more eloquent, hilarious way:) I find myself just laughing and nodding through each of your blogs.
    BTW, I’m pretty sure Camille has a word-of-the-day calendar that must not include pronunciations.
    And HELL yes, Camille and Nick have bumped uglies. They interact like people who have not only seen each other nekkid but are either continuing to do so or at least wishing they were. I’m just so confused as to why his wife puts up with the whole scenario – and didn’t he mention something a few episodes back about them having a baby at home? Ick.
    P.S. Am I the only one with a massive crush on Kyle’s husband?? Yum.
    Looking as much forward to your recap next week as I am to seeing Camille get dumped on her bony ass:) Keep it up!

  • LizzieC

    In the words of The Countess, ” Money Can’t Buy You Class.”

  • Hedda Gabler

    LOL @ lisa’s husband getting stuck in the shrubbery. that was so weird…in the backyard handling the turtle.

  • Loving This

    Lisa is HILARIOUS! I love her sense of humor and together with Kyle they are such fun friends. They just seem real. This is my fave of all the RH. Their lifestyles are truly indulgent and with the exception of the absolutely ridiculous Camille, the cast is remarkably civilized. I hope Kim can get more self assured and find someone to share her life with. I thought Lisa’s comment was funny about the dodgy ticker, but Kim seems to need a nice man who will be around for a while.

  • Ruthie

    Have Giggy’s little feet ever touched the ground??

  • Pam

    I usually side with the wronged partner when a spouse is caught cheating. After seeing Camille in action, who can blame Kelsey from going elsewhere. And what kind of wife refuses to relocate for a year while the spouse is working? 3500 square feet is a huge property by Manhattan standards, but not palatial enough for Camille. I hope Kelsey got her to sign a prenuptial before marriage…

  • Too Funny!

    This Recap was SUPER FUNNY and You HIT IT on the head. I love the Bible references and the ATL comment. I used to live in the ATL so I totally get it! Amanda, you should be a screenwriter!

  • mkat

    I wonder what Camille was like in high school — she’s the epitome of Plastic, but not in the sense of just being superficial, because you have to add in the smarmy ick factor?!

    It’s a good thing I work from my computer at home — as much as I love laughing to the point of out and out snorts, it’s never a pretty sound. Great recap!

  • lolanyc

    I had to put my 2 cents in. Camille is jealous of Kyle. Kyle has a great relationship with her hot young hubby. and clearly kelsey was done with her at that show. WOW he was soo distant! it was uncomfortable! Camille is a vapid nasty woman. Shes having a HS fight for no good reason!!!! The more she brings up “noone wants me if kelsey isnt there” the more ITS TRUE! and shes so screwing that hot dude. No DOUBT! she touches his face like shes going to swallow his head! Both of them! =)

    I cant wait til the divorce gets going on the show!!

  • Staci

    Amanda, your recaps are so well written and entertaining! You should write a book based on recaps of reality foolishness!

  • Sarah

    This was absolutely hilarious. Loved reading it. You’re a very talented writer and express yourself very well! (Echoed my thoughts EXACTLY!)

  • Mochababe73

    Okay, first of all, I drooled over the handbags that these ladies had. Kyle’s red Chanel was absolutely fabulous. I really liked Adrienne’s wedding dress display. I guess shoving on the shelf in closet like I did wasn’t going to happen.
    Usually, I like the housewife that everyone dislikes-Alexis from the OC, Teresa from NJ, and Michaele from DC. But, I can find no redeeming quality in Camille. The girl (not woman) is more delusional than Danielle (NJ)and Kelly (NY) put together.
    I have been on Team Kyle since the premiere. Still on Team Kyle. She keeps it real, and I find that refreshing. Her sister, Kim, knows nothing about family. Taylor is a hoot. I can’t even remember the other lady’s name.
    I can’t wait until the reunion show.

  • medusa1000

    Your recap is nearly as entertaining as the show. I’ve always tried to not kick a witch when she’s down (or in this case, about to be kicked to the curb), however it seems EVERYONE cannot stand Camille – by her own doing. Initially when the ladies of RH are interviewed or speaking into the camera by themselves, Camille immediately referenced her 4 nannies, then her husband’s A list status, took credit for keeping him sober for 10 years (which in reality is quite an accomplishment b/c if this woman didn’t drive him to drink or relapse, I don’t know if anything will), assured viewers she is as important as her husband as she walked down the walkway (imagine, walking in that heat) to take a meeting regarding “her” show in development about her daughter and her daughter’s nanny (probably the only mother figure her daughter has are her nannies), to complaining a 3500 sq. foot living area is simply not large enough, especially for an entire year. Does this woman have any idea what is going on in our country, in the world? Still, knowing what was in her future, I attempted to give her the benefit of the doubt, especially when Kelsey came home, kissed the kids and she stood by awkwardly, finally asking “can I get a little sugar?” Then when she completely overreacted regarding a comment Kyle made taken the wrong way, which I believe was not malicious in anyway; could not let it go even after Kyle basically apologized if Camille had taken it the wrong way – yet Camille refused to let it go. This is what finally made me sick: Camille sat at the table with the other ladies in NYC (after the misunderstanding appeared to be settled upstairs (due to Kyle’s maturity in wanting to settle the matter, only to rehash the event at the table while continuously smirking) stating something to the effect “the person who loses control loses, Kyle lost control. I win.” Ladies, she is sick. Maybe I’m sick b/c I would love to see her and Danielle (NJ) in a good ol’ fashion extension pullin dance party.

  • Lorie

    I have two questions:

    1. If Taylor is going to “go all Oklahoma” on Kim, did that mean she was going to sing show tunes to her?

    2. Is this not a “reality” show where they are filming these people’s lives? Then how is it that Bravo has no film of the Kyle/Camille discussion that started all the drama????

  • Gilbert-Ian Rueda

    Great article!! I couldn’t have explained my feelings so thoroughly as you have.. Thank You!!

  • Kathi

    Am I the only one who can see that Nick is swinging both ways. Seriously, when he showed up in Vegas, I just figured that he was the obligatory fixture “gay friend” that most of the socialite women seem to have.

  • Paty

    “…after she was finished misusing all of the big words that she could find in her head…” ROTFL!!!

  • Smith

    i recently read that kelsey grammar talked camille into doing housewives to draw attention away from the affair he was having!! SHIESTY. and good point lorie re: no footage about the kyle/camille moment. i’ve been thinking that all along!!! (ipad)

  • cl

    of all the RHOBH girls, i love adrienne’s quote in the beginning: “money’s what i have, not who i am.” well-said!!! (ipad)

  • Sherry

    rhobh love it (ipad)

  • Sherry

    not a big fan of camille (ipad)

  • Jen

    Not a big fan of the name Camille (ipad)

  • helen

    lol dodgy ticker. (ipad)

  • ellie

    These episodes have just been shown again in the UK and I totally agree with you. Crazy…crazy…crazy…

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