Real Housewives of Orange County (5)

Just like an argument can be made that the real story of Mad Men is about the women who inhabit Don Draper’s universe, I’d be willing to consider that perhaps the real story of Real Housewives of Orange County is about the men who buzz around our cast members like so many horse flies. Other than Drunk Sarah getting kicked out of the party, last night’s episode was almost entirely about the husbands and boyfriends.

The things they said, the things they saw, the things for which they demanded apologies – the dudes really stole the spotlight, and that’s quite a feat when you consider that they stole it from a group of women who are professional spotlight-hoggers. The men were the ones instigating fights and peeling out of driveways in self-righteous rages, proving once again that the OC husbands and boyfriends are truly the worst of any Real Housewives city. Heather should count herself lucky and hold on to Terry for dear life.

We started back at the party, where the main fight between Drunk Sarah and Heather had fragmented out into several groups of chatty gossip and faux outrage from all involved. Gretchen pulled us out of it by escorting Tamra inside to give her a present: a charm bracelet with three little doo-dads that stood for unbreakableness, fashionistaness and the fact that Tamra always wears black. Or at least those are the three things I remember, anyway. They had a cute little moment that seemed at least halfway sincere, and then they bonded for a second over the fact that Vicki is terrible. And really, that’s something on which we can all agree.

Suddenly, the Heather-Drunk Sarah argument was back on, this time in the kitchen. Sarah apparently instigated the second stage of the confrontation, and at that point, she was slurring her words and asking why Heather was being so rude and not accepting her very sincere apology. The clips from the last episode showed Sarah yelling about Heather being stupid, and I don’t actually remember anything that resembled a true apology, so to me, Heather did the right thing by asking Alexis, who brought her to the party uninvited, to make sure that she left.

When you bring a guest to a party, you’re responsible for that guest, and if the hostess has an issue with that person being in her house, then it’s at least partly your responsibility to make sure the hostess’ request is taken care of, within reason. Asking Sarah to leave was the right move, and with how drunk Sarah was, Heather was right to ask Alexis to make sure she got out quickly and safely. Alexis, on the other hand, apparently believes that she bears zero responsibility for anything that anyone around her says or does – not her husband and not her drunk party guest – and that good manners don’t require her ever to intervene, even in the slightest, so the duties of escorting Drunk Sarah out to the car service actually fell to Slade and Gretchen, somehow.

Slade in particular did a very good job neutralizing the situation and removing Sarah from the house, which is the last thing I expected to happen. If Alexis had been half as reasonable at the beginning (since Sarah was, you know, her uninvited guest), perhaps things wouldn’t have gotten so ridiculous. As it was, Sarah was lead out to her driver, screaming things like “IS THIS THE WORLD WE LIVE IN?” the entire way. The grand injustice of it all was just too much for her gentle soul to bear, you guys.

In another awkward conversation, Vicki went over and violated the personal space of Briana’s husband Ryan to tell him that he wouldn’t be taking her daughter away anytime soon and that Brooks doesn’t deserve to be questioned because she is the mom and also the decider and also she needs Ryan’s help! Will you help her, Ryan? Will you help Vicki, the crazy, possibly drunk lady with the creepy boyfriend who wants to treat your wife like she’s 12 for the rest of her life? WILL YOU? Ryan handled the whole thing beautifully, with just the right mix of firm refusal to accept Vicki’s bullshit and the necessary amount of willingness to listen to her babble. He seemed to be leaning slightly away from Vicki for the entire conversation, which I am going to assume is attributable to her booze breath.

After Vicki was done accosting Ryan, she ran over to accost Tamra and call her a brown-noser, an intention that she announced to a random group of party guests before going over to do it. Tamra is more than used to that kind of behavior from Vicki, as she mentioned at the top of the episode, and like Ryan, she stonewalled her effectively with the bare minimum tolerance for Vicki’s bullshit. It was a scene that’s likely gone down between the two of them a dozen times before, both on and off camera, and I personally find it kind of amazing that no one’s whacked Vicki over the head with a bottle of champagne yet. Also, side note: Vicki needs to buy a lipstick that’s not the same color as her skin.

In a third awkward conversation, Earth Jesus grew a pair (to borrow Heather’s husband’s phrase) and showed up to the party in the ugliest rented tux vest I’ve ever seen, sans jacket. When Alexis suggested that he go talk to Terry about what he said about her at dinner with Gretchen, Earth Jesus snapped at her in front of everyone else about how she’s not the person who wears the pants in the relationship. He did eventually go talk to Terry, though, which was a conversation that confused me from all angles. Why did Alexis think that her husband needed to talk things out with Terry? Jim wasn’t implicated or involved in the first conversation or any of the arguments it spawned. Is Alexis not allowed to speak to other adult men and work out these issues on her own? Does Earth Jesus deserve an apology for every negative thing said about his wife, since she is his possession? I’m not entirely sure what the reasoning was, but I think it’s probably some truly unfortunate combination of those theories.

Whatever the reasons, Terry was game. He sat down with Earth Jesus and calmly owned up to exactly what he said – that Alexis is phony, which was a statement he was prepared to defend, but that he didn’t call her The Phoniest Person On Earth. Jim looked surprised that Terry was willing to admit to saying anything negative and seemed to be trying to gin up some outrage when Heather walked up, which shut him down completely. Perhaps this is me reading into the situation because of the incredible contempt I have for Jim in the first place, but it sure did seem like the presence of an intelligent woman who intended to participate in a conversation with him as an equal made him incredibly nervous. But really, Heather was there when the remark in question occurred, so she had more of a right to be part of the conversation than Jim did.

While Jim was still trying to get his bearings in the presence of a woman who wasn’t dependent on him to pay for her weave maintenance, Tamra also walked up, bringing the total number of people who deserved to be in this conversation more than Jim did to three and the number of intimidating women to two. Tamra didn’t even open her mouth or sit down before Jim had a fit, got up and walked out of the party without saying two words to anyone, including his wife. She had to be notified of his exit by other partygoers who saw him leave, which left her running down the block after his car in her fur coat and giant heels, looking vaguely like a Vegas hooker who had just gotten stiffed on her fee.

Back inside the party, a bunch of the cast members had sat down at the same table, and for some reason, Vicki proposed a toast to Alexis. Tamra apparently rolled her eyes, because that’s really the only appropriate reaction to Vicki toasting Alexis while she’s stiletto-wobbling down Heather’s driveway in pursuit of her misogynist husband and his cater-waiter polyester vest, but it was a move to which Brooks took exception. Vicki didn’t see it, a fact that she was honest about in the moment but lied about later, but Brooks made sure that the whole thing blew up by repeatedly alerting Vicki to the fact that an unacceptable look had momentarily overtaken Tamra’s face.

If you’ve never encountered a man like Brooks in your everyday life – a manipulative, emotionally controlling bag of dicks who always goes after weak women like they’re the sickly gazelles at the back of the pack – count yourself lucky, but know that the entire fight was a classic move to isolate a vulnerable person from her existing support system. Tamra rolls her eyes and makes faces all the time, something that Vicki knows quite well by now, and she didn’t even see Tamra roll her eyes. Brooks stepped in to light everything on fire and encourage Vicki to get upset over something that is not only par for the Real Housewives course, but also that she hadn’t actually seen for herself. It was just a look on Tamra’s face, you guys.

If you thought the cake fight was over nothing, then I’m not sure what the appropriate word for the cause of this fight would be. Absolute zero? The upshot of the entire thing, though, is that it’s harder for a man to control a woman who has outside encouragement to question his actions. Once someone like Brooks alienates his target from those people, getting what he wants becomes a lot easier, and Brooks seems like a man who knows that process like a pro. I’ve been in Tamra’s position, on the other side of a vulnerable friend’s malevolent new boyfriend, and it’s one of the most frustrating positions you can be in, as a woman. No matter how you approach it, you’re probably going to lose.

When Vicki flew off the handle over Brooks’ repeated insistence that she had been given the “evil eye” (whatever the hell that is), Tamra unfortunately took the bait and flipped out in her own right, yelling about how Brooks controls Vicki emotionally. While that seems to be both a true and widely held belief, yelling it in Vicki’s face is exactly the kind of confrontation that makes Brooks’ manipulation that much easier. Shift the attention, Brooks, shift the attention! It’s not you who’s the problem, it’s literally every other person in your girlfriend’s life who has the problem! Sadly, Vicki’s so desperate – and growing more desperate by the moment, if her Costa Rican meltdown about missing Donn is any indication – that she bought into it completely.

Of course, these tensions had been simmering for a while. A good manipulator moves people away in increments, which just makes it more difficult for the former friends to explain how he did anything wrong. Combine that with Vicki’s latent unhappiness, which makes her even more unpleasant and critical than she usually is, and a fight between her and Tamra, whose life is on the upswing, was going to happen eventually. It was alarming how swiftly Vicki decided that some grievous wrong had been done to her, though, and even at the end of the episode, she insisted that Tamra’s off-hand eye-roll was the type of horrible thing that would put a permanent end to their friendship forever. Um, what? Are we all still talking about the same thing here?

Vicki and Brooks stormed out, of course, and while they were waiting for their car to be brought around, Tamra went to talk to Briana. Naturally, they were both on exactly the same page about Brooks and the effect he’s having on Vicki’s other relationships, and neither of them have any idea what to do to burst the bubble that she’s in. Briana went outside to try and talk sense, though, and nothing worked until she said the word “alienate.” If you noticed, it wasn’t Vicki that reacted to it, it was Brooks – his cover was momentarily blown, and if he let people talk too much about the distance that he’s working to put between Vicki and her friends, things could get more complicated for him. Brooks immediately suggested that they go back into the party, and once he had approved the move, Vicki followed along without argument, even though Heather’s (somewhat selfish) pleas and her own daughter’s distress couldn’t convince her.

They did come back in, though, and Heather even let Vicki make a self-indulgent speech that painted her as the victim in all of this (Remember, literally nothing bad happened to Vicki. Tamra made a face for a split second that Vicki didn’t even see, and then Brooks started an argument about it, which he admitted.), which is more than she was required to do. Ultimately, the episode ended like all Real Housewives finales: with passive-aggressive little blurbs about the Housewives’ activities since filming ended. Most of them were pretty standard, but a couple stood out. First, Alexis and Earth Jesus are hoping to open a trampoline park, which is a piece of news so random and sublime that I still can’t think of a joke to make about it. It just…is.

More pertinent to our storyline, though, were the blurbs involving Vicki. First, Brianna is knocked up, so she’s about to be the world’s worst grandma this side of Colleen Donaghy. Second, she’s not invited to Tamra’s wedding, which means that those two really did stop being friends over an eye-roll. Third, Brooks and Vicki broke up. And then got back together. And he’s still driving Vicki’s car. Somewhere, Donn is hanging out with his new girlfriend and laughing his ass off.

  • Lisa

    Excellent recap. You nicely summarized all the arguments while I just glazed while watching it on DVR.    I am glad this season is over.   Two weeks are arguing in Heather’s fabulous backyard are enough for me to wrap this season up and move on.  

  • John

    I hope that Donn is happy and still has a good relationship with Briana and Michael. He deserves more than VIcki. I also think Vicki now knows this but hopefully Donn doesn’t let her sway him.

  • LGesq

    i actually had to side with Jim in this episode.  if someone calls your wife phony, you should stick up for them and question the person who did so (i know i would want my husband to).  Jim suggested doing it at a more appropriate time, between just him and Terry, but was forced into having the conversation at the party. he was calm and logical, until all the women decided to butt in and give their own opinions.  although he should have brought Alexis with him, i don’t blame him for walking away of what was for sure to be a heated argument between a large group of people

    • http://www.purseblog.com/ Amanda Mull

      I disagree, I’d never want my husband/boyfriend/anyone sticking their nose into a situation like that in which they weren’t already involved. In my mind, grown people should be able to mediate those situations themselves, no matter the genders of the parties involved. It seems as though Terry would have been happy to talk to Alexis, and he’s not exactly a threatening or scary person. I don’t see why Jim had to be the person to do it, except that Jim likes to be the king of his castle.

      • Reality Junkie

        There is the old school of thought that the husband is his wife’s protector and advocate IF it is a MAN who is speaking disparagingly about her. I consider myself to be a strong woman, not a shrinking violet, and I am more than willing to stand up for myself. But I was born in 1963 and was raised to believe that a man stands up for his woman. So I don’t have a problem with the fact that Jim wanted to defend Alexis’ honor. What I DO take issue with is his “Who wears the pants” BS, and his hypocrisy…if you are going to be her “Knight in Shining Armor”, don’t make her go to the party by herself and then storm out leaving her alone again (especially after she was so damned elated that he did her the BIG FAVOR of showing up to accompany her).

        Now, from a broader perspective; call me old fashioned, but I still believe in a man opening doors and pulling out a chair for a woman. When was the last time any of us saw a man stand as a woman approached a table? I don’t consider that demeaning. On the contrary; those gestures are signs of respect and an acknowledgement of the fact that there are, indeed, differences in gender. That has been largely wiped out in our society and I think it’s a shame.

      • http://www.purseblog.com/ Amanda Mull

        I think I’d feel a bit differently if the conversation between Terry and Jim was in a different context, or if Jim seemed like a better person who was genuinely interested in making sure the situation was resolved and everyone understood each other. Instead, he seemed interested in asserting his authority, both over his wife and over anyone who he perceives as challenging his dominance. 

        Calling someone who has fake boobs, fake lips, fake hair and fake eyelashes a phony seems like a fairly mild insult to instigate all this trouble anyway.

    • Relli

       I detest Earth Jesus and yet I agree with you. He wanted to have a conversation  with  Terry  about what was said  because everyone was relying on Terry’s validation as truth that Lexi is phony. Plus his wife was probably came home really upset and hurt by what everyone was saying behind her back, true or not and I am sure it ticked him off. Heather I can understand coming to the table, Terry is her husband and she probably knew the context of the conversation. BUT Tams just wanted to be in on the juice, she had no real concerns other than camera time and he probably knew that. I would have walked away too.

      BUT OH HOW I WANTED TO REACH INTO MY SCREEN AND SLAP HIM when he made the pants comment to Alexis. That look on her face was really sad.

      • http://www.purseblog.com/ Amanda Mull

        I may have to defer to the majority on this one if everyone else can see Jim’s side of the situation, since I’m only going on how I’ve dealt with things in the past and how I think my parents would handle it in their marriage. A boyfriend once stepped into a situation between me and two friends and I broke up with him for it – I hate being put in the position of looking like a victim who can’t defend herself, but Alexis is clearly more comfortable with it than I am. I can’t imagine my mother asking my father to get involved, either, or my father thinking that he needed to come to her rescue. If I’m in the minority, though, I have no problem admitting that.

        I also wanted to clarify that I totally agree with everyone who thinks Tamra really didn’t need to come over and join the conversation. I’m not sure if she did it of her own volition to stir shit, if she was sent over by a producer or if she just wandered over to see what was going on innocently, but her presence was unnecessary. I thought Earth Jesus’ was more unnecessary, though.

      • Engrmom

        Terry did say that Alexis was phony but it was Tamra who said to Alexis during one of their lunch date that Terry think that Alexis is the phoniest person on earth. So yeah I think she needed to be there and admit that she misquoted Terry.

      • Relli

        I totally agree with you, as a strong-willed woman I fight my own battles. My husband would probably only step in if he felt that I was in some sort of serious physical danger otherwise he would just sit back and let me take that person to task. Then again, he has seen me verbally shank grown men and make them wither in my presence, so he has good reason not to worry. It takes the right man who will let you carry your own sword and appreciates that you don’t want to ever be a victim.

        But Lexi is not that kind of woman, she needs her knight or in this case an Earth Jesus to be her savior. I can only agree with EJ approaching Terry because all the little minions were using Terry’s off-hand statement as PROOF of truth, it made it seem like Terry was unfairly singling out Alexis . Even though in that same conversation minutes later Heather said that “No thats right word.” I believe the word she was searching for was “disingenuous,” which isnt great but slightly less offensive.Its a good example of adult telephone gossip gone bad and what happens when someone like Tamara (an instigator who is always looking for a way to elevate herself ) gets a hold of second hand information. Doing the forensics it was actually Gretchen who started it all by repeating a dinner conversation, because it was her golden ticket to becoming Tams new BFF.

        Predictions: they will try and bring on one of Heather’s friends next season to further stir the pot.

        Earth Jesus already stated to the press that he would not allowing Lexi to continue. What a boob. Good luck with the tramp park, thats an insurance liability waiting to happen… oh wait maybe thats why Vicki is her new BFF!

    • babyk

      I’m actually on Jim’s side as well even though I’m not a big fan of his.  I don’t know about confronting Terry since they barely know each other.  If it was a good friend of his, and he said something about his wife, I would understand.  If it wasn’t anyone important, who cares? What I’m actually siding on is Jim wanting to speak alone man to man.  I don’t blame him for leaving, but I wished he would’ve at least said something like “Heather, Tamara, if you don’t mind, I would like to speak to Terry privately.  Can you please respect that?”.  It just made him look bad for storming off even though I understood why he left.

      • Lisa in Oregon

        That is exactly what I thought. He should have politely asked the wives to let them speak privately so they could finish their conversation. Instead, he acted like a little boy and stormed out. He’s repulsive.

  • ncalgal

    I love the way you write and how you have a keen ability to analyze personalities. The Dubrows are probably wondering what they are doing in this crowd. Vicki refers to Brook like he is some exotic creature from the South and he has truly shown us his colors in this finale.  

  • THEGIRLWITHTHEREDSOLESHOES

    Great recap.  Sara screaming “is this the world we live in?”, had me laughing on the floor!

  • Mila

    Great recap totally spot on including Alexis looking like a hooker and Jim wearing a tacky ass suit vest.  His vest and classes looks like something from Chrome Hearts (YUCK).  Also I want to know why everyone was wearing furs all night.. Was it really that cold ?

    • anonymous

      The Vegas Hooker line killed me, too. Hilarious.

      Re: the furs. It can get cold at night in SoCal, esp. when you are as close to the ocean as the Dubrows are. Cold of course is a relative term, but it could get down to the low 50s at night. Easily.

  • Yerani

    Amanda great recap, I still haven’t seen Part I of the finale so I was glad to have your recap from last week to depend on otherwise all the shrieking would’ve confused the feather hair piece out of me…seriously was Gretchen wearing a feather hair piece? Seriously? On that note, boy was Slade ecstatic to finally come in handy as something other than being screamed at and accused of being a slacker! How drunk was this Sarah girl? She looked like she was about to fall asleep and cry at the same time the entire time she was on camera. And Alexis trying to understand exactly what happened? There isn’t enough airtime Jesus Barbie. On a final note, I think I hit the ceiling with Tamra in this episode. Sometimes she just needs to shut her trap…we get it she’s a free woman and she has an opinion! So do we all, but there is a time to exercise some restraint! Like when you see Tery, Heather and OC Jesus partaking in what may be a serious conversation, you don’t need to join in! And when you know your supposed BFF is blinded by a douche carpetbagger, play your cards right, instead of feeding into his poison. I wouldn’t go as far as saying it was her fault, but…

  • winterpenny

    The funniest part of last night’s episode was the “trampoline park”.  WTF????  So strange.  Mixed emotions on some of the drama.  I don’t like Jim, but felt it was his place to say something to Terry.  Nothing wrong with a man coming to his wife’s defense, if she is okay with it.  I dislike Vicki and Brooks.  However, I don’t think the argument between her and Tamra was just about an eye roll.  There had to be a lot more brewing…Gretchen even said it in the episode.  And as much as I like Tamra, she is way to quick to jump into things.  Twice in two years, she is in the season ending fight…she’s gotta learn how to behave in public:)  While Heather and Terry are probably my favorites, I do think Heather was playing up the drama for the camera.  Really…a cake.  Do you really have to publicly shame the woman?  Just call for a car and send her out.  I would think that she would be embarrassed by the scenes made at the party, including her own involvement.  Which feeds into the notion that this is all manufactured.  Can’t wait for the reunion!!!!!

  • Relli

    Jeez Vicki and Tamara, where to begin.

     

    I can totally empathize with Tamara about her eye roll. I
    too have diarrhea of the face and have a tendency to offend people without
    meaning to by letting my face show what I am really thinking. BUT I think she
    went too far in her accusations at Vicki and at some point it wasn’t as much
    trying to save her friend from a bad relationship as it was about her being
    angry that Vic wasn’t relenting. Because although Tams like to present herself
    as a fun loving, crazy fun girl she is actually incredibly controlling and when
    people don’t retreat to her side she gets nasty and then plays the victim.
    Because seriously after she lunged over the table, thrusting her finger in
    Vicki’s face (like she is some child being punished), then chased her around
    the party to keep the argument going; she actually had the balls to (try*) to
    cry and ask everyone what she said that made her so mad!?!?! It wasn’t that bad
    right!?!?!?!

     

    I guess you can say I saw that argument completely different
    because before it erupted Vicki was actually trying to sweep to the side and
    discuss it with her later. But Tamara AND Brooks were not willing to let it go
    and kept going at each other while Vic was trying to get them both to shut it
    down. I CAN’T BELIEVE I AM GOING TO TYPE THIS but I actually agree and feel for
    Vicki. If Tamara really had a problem with the way that Vic’s boyfriend treats
    her and is suspicious of him than she should have chosen a more intimate
    setting in which to do it. NOT at the table with him present or everyone else
    in the cast, a one on one friends chat that says “I am genuinely concerned
    for you.” AND this was my issue with her Alexis “Intervention,”
    there was no genuine concern it’s just an opportunity for her to prey on
    someone weak and feed her into life source of needing to feel superior to
    others. [I re-watched that episode and these ladies are so dumb it’s like
    Beauty & the Beast, tale as old as time; new money vs. old money. I also
    caught that reunion special that highlighted Lexi's mean girlishness to Pegatha;
    you were soooo right Amanda NO sympathy for Alexis]

     

    Although I think Brooks is a total scammer, I have been in
    Vicki’s shoe where everyone hates your boyfriend (now my husband) and bags on
    him for things that are somewhat superficial in your eyes. Not that there might
    be some truth to it but it hurts nonetheless, especially coming from people you
    love and care about. It can also make you defensive and withdrawn from those
    passing judgment, tough situation all around. But I do feel sorry for her kids,
    especially Briana, I too have a mother who wishes I was still 12 and that is
    hard when you are grown woman. But it must be really hard to watch your mom act
    like a fool and walk away from the man who raised you.

     

    * I LOVE a good RH cry all the Botox makes them look like
    the worst community playhouse actors ever and make me LOL every time.

     

    • http://www.purseblog.com/ Amanda Mull

      I’m a fellow sufferer of “diarrhea of the face,” which may be why I’m extra sympathetic to Tamra in this situation. You can always tell exactly what I think about something, even if I think I’m going to great pains to hide it or don’t realize that I’ve totally given myself away. There have been times where I’ve made a face like Tamra did and been completely unaware that my expression had changed at all.

      I am a terrible poker player.

    • Reality Junkie

      I forgot to mention in my earlier comments, but I agree with you, those fake crying episodes of Tamra’s are outrageous! She covers her face with her hands, not a muscle moves and not a tear is shed!

  • Kitty

    Slimy Brooks should be a case study for women.  He showed us all his moves and you dissected them perfectly Amanda. He clearly controls Vicky, because she is so vulnerable and needy. It was disgusting to see her chose this icky dude over her children.
    Also, Jim is another icky dude. When he scolded Alexis about how he is the only ruler in his slimy kingdom EEEEW.

  • Reality Junkie

    Om my gosh Amanda, you always seem to nail most of the most salient points about these crazy shows. There’s not that much left to say, but I appreciate that you give us a venue to discuss (please see my suggestion in last weeks’s RHoOC recap), so here are some random observations I would like to share:
    * You are so on-point with your comments about Brooks’ very calculated attempts to isolate Vicki from her support network. For a woman who has spent the last seven or eight years touting herself as such an astute businesswoman, it’s hard to believe she is unable to see through this. His pot-stirring with Tamra was something I’d expect from an attention-starved woman, not a man.
    * When Heather came outside to bring Vicki back in to the party- that diamond in the champagne glass being far more important than Vicki’s personal humiliation- Brooks said repeatedly “this is a family matter”! So why, exactly, did he feel that included HIM? (Speaking of the champagne, I DO like Heather and especially like Terry, but enough with the “Champs”. We get it, Heather, you drink so much Champagne that you had to nickname it…now puleaase let it rest).
    * Please please Andy do not bring Sarah back any more. She is such an out-of-control wobbly-eyed, repetitive drunkiepoo that I cannot take it anymore!
    * Love Brianna and Ryan and wish them all the best. They are going to need it.
    * I know it was mentioned last week, but that feathery thing in Gretchen’s hair was heinous.
    * I was glad to see that Heather mentioned in her Bravo blog that she was disappointed with the cake and considered the monogram a “little too Sweet Sixteen” for her taste. I couldn’t agree more and applaud her for saying so!

    • Kriskitty1

      “Enough with the “Champs” !! Amen! I cannot stand her saying this. I’m a SoCal native. No one says it. Except for Heather.

      • LuvleyJubley

        My British husband says ‘Champers’ (the first time I ever heard him say it, I thought he was talking about false teeth) but I’ve never heard an American say either ‘Champs’ or ‘Champers’.  Even living with a Brit, I think I’d sound like an ass saying it.  That’s his word; I have my own.

  • Xvladines

    I dont understand why Heather and Tamra had to get involved in the conversation between Jim and Terry.  Okay maybe Heather but Tamra! Why did she just have to come and sit.  I am really starting to not like Tamra,  I feel like she gets in everones else’s business but once anyone starts taking about her and her issues she gets mad, kind of like Vicky I guess. 

    • 2viwill

      I think Tamra wants to be the star of the show and is a bit of a drama queen. She was relatively subdued on WWHL since her daughter was in the greenroom and Denise Richards stole the show.  

      • Reality Junkie

        Tamra even apologized (to Heather) on Twitter last night for her boring appearance on WWHL and said it was because her daughter was there. You may be right!

      • ncalgal

        Tamra did call Alexis Jesus jugs on the program last night.  She tries to be funny…and crudely was but I wonder if she is the one who is tanking the program.  It seems to be circling the drain as far a class goes!  At least I can relate to the Dubrows and they appear to have class, but unfortunately the rest are comical, and over done. 

  • Jeloi

    Thanks for the recap, eventhough I like Alexis the comment about her looking like a hooker was funny! Since it was a man who made the comment about Alexis, Jim should be the one who talks with whatshisface. I don’t see a problem with Jim talking with him. If it had been a female who made the comment Alexis should be the one talking with the individual. Jim would be called a buly if he approach a female about her comment about Alexis. I don’t know if any of this makes sense, but I tried.

    • Kate M.

      I might agree with this perspective *if* Terry had actually confronted Alexis. He didn’t. Only Terry, Heather, Gretchen and Slade were there when he made an off-hand observation. Tamra was the one who confronted Alexis and I accurately recounted the original conversation.

      • Kate M.

        Ugh. Autocorrect and fat fingers are a bad combo. I meant inaccurately recounted.

    • http://www.purseblog.com/ Amanda Mull

      I just don’t see why a woman can’t confront a male in her circle of friends about something mean that he said about her. I would never, in a million years, want my significant other to step in for me in that situation unless I feared for my physical safety, and even then, I’d simply want him to accompany me while I did the confronting. I’m on equal emotional and intellectual footing with any man who dares step to me, and if they think I’m going to send someone in my place, they’re gravely wrong. 

      IMO, sending your husband/boyfriend to do your emotional heavy lifting sets women back to the 1950s. I will not have it in any relationship that I’m in.

      • anonymous

        I agree completely. COMPLETELY. Is this the playground, where you have to get your teacher or your mom involved?

      • Jeloi

        It is obivious Alexis is not on your level. She felt the need to let Jim do it for her so why not use what you got!

      • Joni

        But we’ve all seen her defend herself just fine, or even go on the attack, as in the kitchen with the oh-so-aggressive hands-in-the-face business.  

  • SRDL

    So, I was just sitting down for the night, slightly buzzed, mesmorized by the color of Vicki’s lips and wondering what color actually would look better because they too closely match her pale face (too dark a color wouldn’t work either… maybe a light berry?), which miraculously doesn’t tan when the rest of her body does. Then, I looked up and saw your last sentence before the picture. Hilarious!

  • Anon

    Alexis needed to at least BE at the table, imho. Then then she had to run after him as he just left. How embarrassing for her. 

    The editing was ALL OVER THE PLACE. The eagles eyes over at TWOP caught Sarah standing in the background when Brooks and Vicki were outside and Heather came out to plead with them to come see the toast. 

    Also the party took place 3 months BEFORE Tamra and Eddie got engaged so that discussion Gretchen (?) and Tamra was dubbed in in post production. It was super choppy. 

    Link to the Twop RHOC: http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=65d07c580f430e4ec652809583a50243&showtopic=3160359&st=34155

    • http://www.purseblog.com/ Amanda Mull

      Interesting info about the timeline. This season has seemed particularly disjointed to me, although I don’t have the ability to watch closely enough to catch some of those seams like the fine folks at TWOP do. 

  • Purse mommy

    Way to go Amanda a 30Rock reference in a sea of bat shit crazy

  • LuvleyJubley

    As an aside, a new ‘trampoline park’ opened up late last year in my city and the folks who opened it are making a killing.  There are lines out the door almost every day; it seems like a nice investment for now.

  • Suz

    Team Brianna and Ryan!

  • Terriwith2arfs

    Oh I just loved your review!  I’ve not read any others you’ve done, but that Earth Jesus thing is hilarious!  Perfect analogy!  I’ve been in the Vicki position, and all the while it was happening, in the back of my mind, I knew.  Stupid.  Yes, this guy is a real scuzball and hopefully, she’ll pull her head out of her a#$ and figure it out.  She must be desperately lonely – I know the feeling, but if EVERYONE has a problem with him (including 20/20) it’s time to move on.  Ick.

  • Sandy

    I may be the only one who thinks this, but what was there for Jim or even Alexis to confront Terry about at all? People are entitled to their opinions. Especially as something as benign as thinking someone comes off phony. (One of my current best friends admitted she thought I was stuck up till she really got to know me. Now she calls me a complete goofball.) If Alexis had been accused of having an affair or embezzling from the job she doesnt have or using slave labor to make her heinous clothing designs, I’m all for HER, not her husband, stepping to Terry and getting it straightened out. That’s potential slander! But how can you “correct someone” if they think you’re phony? When youre no longer on the playground you simply say “I’m sorry you feel that way. I hope when you get to know me better you’ll see that I’m not.” Life. Not everyone likes you!

  • NCGal

    This was the most contrived, bullshit, poorly acted/edited episode of any RHs I have ever seen. My normally robust, and totally ‘game for anything’ willing suspension of disbelief felt like it was kicked in the friggin’ teeth.