After last week’s Housewife Smackdown of epic proportions, I really assumed that this week’s episode would be boring in comparison. It’s rare that there’s any kind of successfully sustained narrative arc on this show when genuine drama is involved, but Real Housewives of New York City managed to deliver last night, even if it was mostly off of the power of the previous episode’s big confrontation.

Sure, other things happened, but I’m not really sure what they were. The Bethenny vs. Jill kerfuffle has turned into something of a black hole of Bravolebrity drama, sucking in everything within a certain perimeter and making it irrelevant to those that are observing. LuAnn wants to have a cocktail party. Some people picked some models. Kelly continued to be really interested in Kelly. No one really cares about any of this stuff, and it seems like they just broadcast it in order to give the 15 minutes of weekly verbal mud-wrestling a modicum of context.

First, can we all take a moment to congratulate Bethenny on not throwing Ramona off of the Brooklyn Bridge? I think she deserves it, and by that I mean I think Bethenny deserves congratulations and Ramona deserves to be thrown off a bridge. Bethenny asked her to take a walk over the Brooklyn Bridge to chit chat, and I’m not sure what would motivate anyone to put themselves in a situation with Ramona where escape is impossible, but Bethenny soon came to regret it.

As soon as Bethenny opened her mouth to mention her argument with Jill, Ramona more or less pounced on her – she told her that she had no friends, that she was probably going to screw up her relationship with her boyfriend and that she was a media whore that had probably planted the Gatecrasher item from last week’s episode herself. For once, it seemed that Bethenny hadn’t actually said anything to warrant that kind of reaction, and it reminded me a lot of last season when Ramona wouldn’t shut up about what an underdog she was and how that’s the only reason Jill liked her (which, in retrospect, turned out to be completely true), except several degrees of magnitude worse. Bethenny was in tears before long, and I couldn’t figure out the trajectory of the conversation for the life of me. What was Ramona hoping to gain by putting Bethenny down so thoroughly, with little provocation? The more I see of Ramona, the more it seems like she’d benefit from a good therapist. Or maybe a shot of tranquilizers.

The next stop on Bethenny’s Trail of Tears was at a model casting in Brooklyn where she was helping choose girls for Brooklyn Fashion Weekend. She stopped by a bit early to talk with Alex (who has somehow achieved a sort of reality TV redemption and is now normal) and told her that she had a suitcase in tow so that she could fly to LA after the casting. She was headed out west to see her father, who was apparently quite ill. Bethenny has spoken obliquely in the past about her strained relationship with her dad, and her decision to see him at the end of his life mirrored pretty closely what Ramona had revealed about her own father last week. Methinks that both of them would have gotten more out of their bridge conversation had they talked about their daddy issues instead of Bethenny’s tendency to alienate her boyfriends.

Just when things got a little heavy, Kelly showed up to change the subject to how hard models have it and Ramona showed up again and decided that it would be really entertaining if she set up Jill and Bethenny to meet with each other after Bethenny got back from visiting her dad. Just when we were thinking Kelly was the most self-obsessed person on the face of the planet, admitting that she was planning a stunt like that for her own amusement catapulted Ramona to the front of the race, right where she wants to be (it is apparently not important to her exactly what “winning” this particular race entails – namely, being an awful person for a large television audience).

Before we get to the next stop on the Trail of Tears, let’s catch up with the other participant. Jill spent most of the episode trying to curry favor with the other Housewives, likely in hopes that they’ll take her side in future conflicts with Bethenny. She even went so far as to go play with Alex’s kids in Brooklyn, a move that seemed so contrived and out-of-character that Jill didn’t even do a halfway decent job of masking her mild irritation at being forced to cross the bridge. But as Alex (who seems to be moderately Team Bethenny) pointed out, Jill keeps score and is interested in winning, and sometimes you have to shake a few hands and kiss a few babies to do that. Even if the babies are in Brooklyn.

She also had some sort of inappropriate lingerie sleepover with LuAnn (honey, if you’re listening, wearing a nightie and getting under the covers with Jill Zarin is not going to make Playboy call you), wherein she bragged about her brand new fancy-schmancy Saks credit card and acted so nouveau-riche that I almost choked on my Maker’s Mark & ginger ale that I drink during every episode of Housewives, in honor of Velvet Mafia member Andy Cohen (and also, because it makes watching the show more tolerable). Jill has been looking pretty good this season, at least, and I think she may have sold her soul to Satan in return for being allowed to age backward a few years. That would explain a lot.

Eventually Bethenny came back to town and Ramona went through with her plan to amuse herself by putting them both in a really awkward situation. She invited Jill over under the pretense of planning a fundraiser and then had Bethenny show up later, in hopes that they would finally make peace and she would be the one to get the credit for it. Well. It didn’t exactly go down like that.

Jill’s head nearly exploded at being set up, despite the fact that she pulled the exact same trick on Bethenny last season with Kelly. She got all panicky and refused to talk at first, but then agreed to sit down for a moment while Ramona and LuAnn more or less stood outside with their ears pressed to the door to make sure they didn’t miss any drama. Bethenny got emotional again (she was pregnant when this episode was filmed, although she apparently didn’t know it yet) and explained what had lead up to the now-infamous voicemail, and I thought that she made pretty good sense despite her frazzled, hormonal state.

She said that Jill was difficult to be close with because she keeps score and picks everything apart, and, well, that certainly seems true. We also found out that Jill told Bethenny that they were done before Bobby got sick, which put the whole issue with Bethenny not calling in a new light for me. If your ex-bestie, who now wants nothing to do with you, doesn’t respond to the flowers or email that you sent inquiring about her husband’s condition, what else are you supposed to do? If a close friend had kicked me out of her life over a stupid angry voicemail, I can’t say I would have done anything at all, particularly if I was traveling around on a book tour and didn’t have the details on how sick he was. Maybe I’m a jerk. It’s a distinct possibility, really.

It seemed like Bethenny and Jill weren’t really talking about the same things, however, and I didn’t come out of the episode with my opinion of Jill elevated in any way. Bethenny actually brought a card for Jill to give to Bobby, which I thought was kind of sweet and a little sad, but it was too little, too late. Jill mostly didn’t address anything that Bethenny was trying to explain, and LuAnn repeatedly interrupted the conversation for various reason (probably because she can’t stand it when she’s not in front of the camera) and eventually tried to make Jill leave. Bethenny left first, however, and Jill finally showed some emotion over the whole thing.

It seemed, though, that she was more upset and embarrassed at being outwitted by Ramona (and really, that is kind of upsetting and embarrassing) than finally having a face-to-face conversation with her former best friend, and it seems likely that some of Jill’s rage will be redirected to Ramona in future episodes as a result. Bad for Ramona, good for us – I’m kind of tiring of this story line, and we need a little more humor and wackiness in this show. It’s certainly more fun to write about when we get to see Ramona’s awful white-person dancing or when Kelly uses words that don’t mean what she thinks they mean. Gimme some more of that, producers. In the immortal words of Heath Ledger, why so serious?

Share Your Thoughts With Us

  • Crazyfashionaddict

    Listen Woman, You know that i love your site desperately, so I’m gonna need for you to give the recaps as soon as the show ends..Thanks much. As always , you are awesome.

    • Simply Complex

      I would have to agree with Crazyfashionaddict….not that I don’t love this site….loves it I do…but I have been refreshing since 9am this morning….I was giddy with anticipation last night after I watched the episode, because I wanted Amanda’s recap….sooooo I second that motion on having these lovely wondferful recaps as soon as the episode is over…do we have a third?

    • Nee

      I so totally AGREE! We need immediate recaps, while you still have the Makers Mark in your hand!!!

      • You guys are really too sweet – I’d put them up at night, but usually they heavily benefit from a good edit after a night’s sleep and another viewing of the show. In all honesty, this one totally sucked when I went to bed last night!

  • JenG

    Wow! I couldn’t believe how Bethenny was treated by Jill/Ramona. There is nothing she can do, if Jill don’t want her friendship Bethenny has to walk away.

  • BLynnT

    I really don’t know why I’m addicted to this show. As you have pointed out in the past, the whole RH franchise really shows the worst of the worst of women and their cattiness. With that said, I am still totally addicted, and NYC is one of my faves. I am beginning to abhor Ramona and think that perhaps Bethenny should have been calling her the “snake” a couple weeks ago (not that she was wrong in pinning that label on Luann though). Ramona’s awkward, nonsensical, fame whore 15 minutes needs to be up immediately. (fb)

  • Simply Complex

    And can I also say….judging from the previews, I cannot wait to see Ramona on the runway with the bulging eyes….*chortle*

  • Tamee

    Yup, morbidly fascinated here, as well. I guess by watching all the drama, I’m that much more thankful my life is blissfully boring! (fb)

  • Cora

    I may just have to watch this show. Great recap! (fb)

  • Pat

    I missed this week’s episode! Thanks for the detailed recap! (fb)

  • Samantha

    We’ve been battling cancer for five solid years at my house. Jill is an amateur. The brave, traumatized wife act is a luxury reserved for people whose lives have only been brushed by illness. A woman’s friends cannot sustain unqualified admiration for a Lifetime Movie heroine for long. After that, sick husband or no sick husband – they want their friend back.

  • Jen

    I feel bad for Bethanny, actually starting to like Ramona and really disliking Jill. Why is she being such a brat about the thing. At least Ramona can say what is on her mind, however crazy and off the charts strange. Thank goodness for Alex. After watching this I just wanted to give Bethanny a big hug. I think that Alex should be Bethanny’s new BFF, even though she lives in Brooklyn:-)

  • NCGal

    Ramona is mentally ill…borderline, I think is what they call it, with narcissism to boot! Bethanny needs to grow up, become a little more filtered in her exchanges with people, and with respect to Jill, needs to move the **ck on and kiss that nightmare of dysfunctional friendship, good-freakin’-bye! Luanne and Jill are both 12 years-old and finally, after being tormented all through K-12, they get to be the mean girls and it looks ridiculous on both of them. With LuAnne, I even get the weird vibe that she is competitive with her daughter when they share screen-time: condescending, way full of **it, and full of affect. Ugh. The scene between her and Jill in the bed just made me feel icky all over.
    Kelly needs summer school remidiation with lots and lots of tutors.
    Alex? She’s just normal and frankly boring.
    Love you Amanda; your writing is amazing. I wrote to Bravo and suggested that they feature you on Andy’s show :)

  • Rosanna

    I really can’t stand LuAnn and she’s probably my least favorite housewife of the bunch. She and Jill are suddenly BFFs now?! It’s almost sickening watching her trying to defend Jill and keeps interfering with Bethenny/Jill’s fight.

    I can’t wait for next week’s episode; Ramona’s catwalk, that’s all I have to say! lol. (fb)

  • Hannah

    LOL trail of tears!!!
    and i had the EXACT SAME idea about how ramona and bethenny should have talked about their fathers and that strained relationship instead of trying to play chicken with who to toss into the river first! alex is officially the most normal of them all and that is saying something.
    (fb)

  • Kim

    I have to stand up for Ramona here. I don’t believe she set this up “just for entertainment,” as you cattily suggest. I believe that Ramona feels that the friendship between Bethenny and Jill, which by all accounts was a very close one, deserved the attention of both ladies (and I use this word for lack of a more suitable one) in person, so they could apologize to one another, mend their relationship and move forward. While Jill may be somwhere in her 40’s, her emotional age in the context of girlfriend relationships is between 9 and 15. What she really seems to be upset about was not being in the center of Bethenny’s world any longer, thus the phone call or email which preceded the “you need to get a hobby” message. An adult would have examined her feelings, identifyied the true issue that was causing so much turmoil and come to terms with the loss that accompanied Bethenny’s recent successes and with it responsibilities. Had she done so, she would have been able to accept a friendship of lesser intensity (ie, not being glued together 24/7) while expanding her current charity case, Luanne, instead of hanging on to (and frankly nurturing) so much anger which is clearly disproportionate to the the inciting incident.

    • Well, in fairness, she did more or less say she was doing it for her own entertainment during the show. I think she even used the word “entertaining.”

  • Idealist

    That whole set up was a complete mess! I did get a new sense of Jill & its that she’s a complete witch! Subtract the w & add a b! Furthermore, I feel like jill & luann are like the mean girls this season & its pretty repulsive. & I also found it highly annoying when LuAnne kept asking Bethany “do you wana to talk to me or jill”. Like she didn’t want to be left out of the fight.

  • robyn

    Sounds interesting I may have to check it our! (fb)

  • Kate W.

    Amanda I don’t think you were being catty….I think that some people who comment on your blog might actually know some of the RHONY in real life and would jump to the defense of one if she was her friend..(and it is possible that any one of the RH is different from how she’s portrayed on the show). Also, I felt really sad for Bethany this episode, I thought the fact that she didn’t slap anyone showed incredibly restraint!

  • swags

    I was really looking forward to this season of New York after the OC season was over. But this season of New York is like milk left in the fridge too long. It’s turned. This was the group that could entertain without too much fighting. Plus, these fights are not exactly sit on the edge of your seats exciting. Okay, so Jill simply can’t be friends with Bethenny any longer. We get it. But she can’t be polite and attend a few events with her. Really? (fb)

  • mochababe73

    Jill flat out said that she was not going to take any responsibility. So, there was no need for conversation or to resolve the issue. Case closed. Jill’s on to her next project-the Countless LuAnn.

    I am a Ramona fan, but what she said to Bethenny was heinous. She had enough going on and didn’t need any crap from her. With the meeting, I think that Ramona’s heart was in the right place.

    Right now, Bethenny is at a good point in her life. She is married to her soulmate, having the child that she’s always wanted, and a great career. It seems that she had it a little rough. I really felt bad and teary-eyed when she said that her father refused to see her. I pray that it was the illness talking. It’s too bad that she didn’t have any closure with him.

  • Roxanna

    I dont watch the show, but I always love your recaps! (fb)

  • gaganao
  • Kate B.

    I totally agree with Kim. I thought Ramona wanted them to make up because it was getting so out of hand. I don’t remember her saying anything about it being entertainment. That said, I love, love, love your recaps! I eagerly look forward to them and enjoy them so much more than the actual show.

  • kemilia

    Great recap as always–Amanda, you definitely deserve a chair on the wrap up show with Andy.

    I also look forward to Ramona on the catwalk next week, nearly fell off the sofa laughing (didn’t spill a drop of my Tanq & tonic though). And I noticed on the bridge walk–Ramona’s eyes seemed normal, probably because of the sun and she had to squint.

    And the bedroom scene–why why why???

  • Joy

    didnt really get it?
    (fb)

  • Jennifer

    Very entertaining recap! Thanks for making me lol! I so agree that Jill is a witch, she is so jealous of Bethany, who I must say has been the star of the show since day 1. She is witty and funny, love her!!! I will def watch her spin off show. I love the way Bravo shows little skits of them being so seriously stupid and briggish, like the Countless naming off all the things she MUST HAVE in her new apartment! The realtor was looking at her like “you jackass” and Luann was so oblivious! Ha! It kills me that there are really people like this out there. Now I understand the communist concept so much better!

  • loving it in Canada

    I live in Canada & the show starts a little later here so I have to live vicariously thru your weekly recaps. Having watched the last few seasons I have a pretty good sense of what’s happening via your updates. They are my favourite of the various trainwrecks call the The Real Housewives! You just can’t believe people actually spend their lives this way but then I can’t believe I actually watch it every week-my guilty pleasure.
    Believe me, we have the Canadian equivalents of the brainless nouveaux riche too!

  • misslisa

    I’m surprised you didn’t mention Kelly asking New York children if they’re wearing underwear!!!

  • Lizzie

    I love Bethenny and feel bad that everyone gangs up on her. I think that what she says is true and she is the only level headed one on that show!
    (fb)

  • Pamela

    Let’s not forget how when Bethenny and Jill was sitting down to talk, she also mentioned that she had personal things going on with Jason as well but wouldnt mention it which would mean she knew she was pregnant and was freaking out. And let’s also not forget how when Jill got into bed with Luann, and she was bragging about her Saks card, she did that purposely because of the bad talk and gossip around her about her being “blackballed” from Saks because she kept returning too many things. That’s the only reason why they filmed the entire episode around her Saks party and why she had to get into bed with Luann to discuss her diamond card that no one really cares about anyway. (fb)

  • Shine

    I would really like to watch this and be update myself with previous episode, in this way i will not be outdated with TV shows and i could relate with the upcoming blog, next time.(fb)

  • Lisa

    Great recap, as always! The bedroom scene with LuAnn and Jill was just weird. So staged and bizarre, but what can you expect from those two? I usually like Ramona but what she said to Bethenny was HARSH. Alex continues to be my favorite, telling it like it is. (fb)

  • Camille

    TEAM BETHENNY! She keeps it real. Tells everyone exactly what’s on her mind- the good, the bad and the ugly. I think she’s funny.

    • Camille

      (fb)

    • marcella

      No excuse for her constant meaness and rudeness to people. Bethanny makes New Yorker’s look bad. She lives up to that stereotype , “mean New Yorkers”

  • Yvette

    I think that Romana is just clueless. She seemed less vindictive than just willing to help- why didn’t you talk more about how ridiculous and horrible Luann is. Good God that woman grates on my nerves.

    Also, I really dislike Alex’s children from last season- but I like her. Simon creeps me out but there is something very calm about Alex- plus, I loved that she was eating pretzels- lol.

    • I’m saving up all my LuAnn hate for the episode where she sings. Just you wait. It will be epic.

  • abitnerdy

    I was only able to catch one episode of this show :( (fb)

  • Mai Thao

    all of these women talk behind each other’s backs… they’re so childish… haha

    • Mai Thao

      I forgot (fb)

  • S

    I’ve always liked Alex even when she went to too many parties for Bethany’s liking. Bethany judged everyone from the start, so she kind of had it coming. And I’m pretty sure that everyone hates Kelly so much because Bethany did a great job of giving funny one-liners about Kelly to the press last season (as Kelly mentioned). And the public loves humor even if its is just plain mean. I don’t mind Ramona as much as I dislike Bethany. Jill, Bethany and no Luann are my least favorite.

  • sds
  • marian T

    camille (fb)

  • Kim

    I loved Jill last season but this season she is just plain nasty. I guess her and the Countless bring out the best in each other. lol (fb)

  • Handbag Lover

    Jill is silly and really needs to grow up. This entire fight is dumb. Good article :).

  • Nancy

    Jill and Luanne are being so childish and repulsive. I really don’t think Ramona set up the Jill/Bethany meeting for entertainment. I think she was sincere in wanting them to talk it out. Ramona has no filter from brain to mouth, but I don’t think she’s malicious.

    Can’t wait to see Ramona’s freaky cat walk!

  • Leslie

    I still can’t decide if I like to watch the show more or to read these summaries more? Both are hilarious! I am dying to see Ramona get beamed up on the cat walk next week!

  • Adrienne Zedella

    i love this show, but sometimes the fighting and arguing get out of control.
    can’t we all be friends? I mean true, genuine friends where each one LISTENS to the other and respects their opinions and then works it out because there is genuine caring for the other – unless of course these women are all using each other for fame & fortune.
    Jill – has too much & for her own good. spoiled and selfish.
    Luann – using Jill and manipulating the conflict between her and Bethanny – she should shut up and be more supportive to both sides
    Bethanny – love her, but she’s too cocky and opinionated and should sometimes keep her opinions to herself – she’d have less conflict in her life
    Ramona – what the?
    Alex – she’s the truest, most genuine person on the whole show
    Kelly – a flake, good at flirting, but she’s a tease.

    (fb)

  • ana

    i never watched this show, but i always read the recaps.. soooo funny!

  • Adrienne Zedella

    wish i had one tenth of their money (fb)

  • marcella

    The show has gone to Bethany’s head, she is just rude and mean now. There is nothing pleasant about her. She’s all me , me, me and I hope the baby who has a nanny to watch her, because Bethany is a stone beeyatch. If that husband hangs around it will be a miracle, because she can only have a whipping boy to feed her ego. I don’t know what happened to Bethany but this season she’s not a good person.

  • Jocelyn

    I don’t watch but I really want to win a Linea Pelle please, please, please! (fb)

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