Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

The PurseBlog team took yesterday off for MLK’s birthday, so today’s recap of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is going to be a little different. Instead of our usual blow-by-blow, I’ve assembled a list of interesting (and, to be honest, sometimes not-so-interesting) things from last night’s episode to get the discussion going.

It wasn’t as fascinating or action-packed an evening as we’re perhaps accustomed to from the Beverly Hills wives, but there were blessedly few plugs for Vanderpump Rules and a random Paris Hilton cameo, so I can’t complain too much. That won’t stop me, though.

1. Kyle dropped the F bomb at dinner. For a woman who was recently so scandalized at Brandi’s use of the f-word during a communal meal, Kyle certainly managed to bellow it for all to hear during her own dinner party. This is my unimpressed face.

2. The cast is finally saying what we’ve all been saying – Taylor makes everything about herself. As tedious and casually racist (we’ll get to that in a minute) as I find Yolanda, she’s pretty quick on the uptake when it comes to Taylor’s tendency to bend every narrative to bolster her own. Camille, who is increasingly the group’s voice of reason, also seemed tired of Taylor’s efforts to ensure that all roads lead to her dead grifter husband.

3. Ken’s efforts to be a gentleman only made Mauricio look worse. Mauricio has been on a one-man mission to bulldoze all of his own good press all season, and that campaign continued into last night’s episode. Did he just develop that smug face in the past few months? Did he get some ill-placed Botox that has frozen it like that? The world may never know. What we do know, on the other hand, is that Lisa’s husband’s attempts to stop Mauricio from publicly berating a single mom (whose side of the story he has admittedly never bothered to hear) about how she should live her life only made Mauricio look like more of a jerk. The whole thing doesn’t reflect well on Kyle, either – it’s interesting that all the peripheral characters who seem to hate Brandi so much are the ones brought around by Kyle, isn’t it?

4. Kyle and Mauricio’s dinner with Adrienne and Paul read like a team meeting. Adrienne and Paul aren’t doing themselves any PR favors so far, and their get-together with Mauricio and Kyle to check on the status of their alliances and discuss strategy just made the whole thing, including Kyle’s and Mauricio’s involvement, seem craven and planned. At least when Lisa and Brandi talk strategy, Lisa tries to advise her on how to avoid these conflicts in the future and work toward making peace and not attracting more attention to herself. Even if it’s just for the cameras, it’s a much more savvy face to put forward.

5. Adrienne and Paul went to NYC to “get some fresh air.” As a resident of the city, I’d like them to elaborate on where, exactly, they found fresh air.

6. Yolanda’s casual racism reared its head again. While instructing some movers on where to place furniture in her ex-husband’s latest house, Yolanda jumped on one of them for speaking Spanish to another, despite the fact that he spoke English just fine to her and understood what she was saying. Mind your own business, Yolanda. Two native speakers of any language are allowed to speak that language to each other whenever they’d like, without your or anyone else’s approval.

7. Faye Resnick thinks that Avril Lavigne and Nick Lachey are A-listers. Presented without comment.

8. Speaking people who are not A-listers, Paris Hilton made a cameo. Mostly, the point of Paris’ pop-up seemed to be her desire to remind us that she is still trying to make her singing career happen, including an upcoming concert in Brazil where she’s “closing” for Jennifer Lopez. (Note: “closing” for someone at a concert is not a real thing.)

9. That Marisa person is not super excited about her husband. If you want your marriage to improve, or even to last through the end of the year, it’s probably not wise to tell a bunch of reality TV cameras that you don’t love him as much as he loves you in pursuit of a spot on a Bravo TV show. She seems generally pretty reasonable, but that’s not a good look, honey.

10. Mauricio tried to make peace with Ken with a bottle of gin instead of an apology. Ken and Lisa own bars and restaurants, so throwing them a gratis bottle of booze is not exactly the kind of thing that will make an impression. You know what would make an impression? Actually, you know, actually apologizing! And maybe apologizing to Lisa and Brandi instead of wanting to deal with the only dude involved, who was not actually the harmed party. To his credit, Ken seemed to realize just how ridiculous and lame the whole thing was.

11. Kim has a portal to another dimension in her house, apparently. No word on whether or not her psychic is as committed to sobriety as Kim is.

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  • Kate M

    The way Kyle tries to get others to do her dirty work drives me crazy, BUT I think Mauricio stirred things up on his own. My guess is that he wants to keep or get Adrienne & Paul as clients.

    I can’t wrap my head around Yolanda. I go back & forth between love her and hate her.

    • metz

      For me, the scale is definitely tipping toward hate….or at least strong dislike. She seems more and more insufferably arrogant….

  • Michelle

    Did anyone catch Kyle mention Adrienne’s surrogacy in the background audio during the dinner scene? Even though we all know by now, I was surprised (impressed?) that Bravo managed to sneak it in.

  • Relli

    “Faye Resnick thinks that Avril Lavigne and Nick Lachey are A-listers.”

    hahhahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

  • AshleyG

    Amanda, I hope hearing how hilarious you are never gets old to you. No. 5 made me spit out my sweet tea!

    • http://www.purseblog.com/ Amanda Mull

      Trust me, it never gets old! You guys are too nice to me, really.

  • http://www.purseblog.com/ Amanda Mull

    How do you guys like this format? I’m thinking about switching to this full-time, it’s easier to highlight the funny parts and skip the dull stuff if the recap isn’t written as a narrative.

    • Hazel22

      You are so hilarious….I love to read your blog however it is written…..but I do think that maybe a mix of this sometimes and narrative sometimes…..would miss your narrative if it were totally gone :). You’re the best!!

    • Pixel_Queen

      Noooooooo. I read you for the narrative.

    • Nancy

      I like it! Got at least three chuckles out of it, and you made some excellent points. We all saw the show so we already know what happened (uh, not much); I read your blog for the snark factor!

    • Melissa H

      I was just thinking this format could work for always. I’d dig it.

  • Alena

    ok, maybe Kim is sober from alcohol, but not from some other substances, that’s my personal opinion… That slow blink and half-open eyes, I’ve seen it before… In Anna Nicole Smith!
    I really wish Yolanda used some colored lipstick, that ghostly look doesn’t suit her very much

    • http://www.purseblog.com/ Amanda Mull

      It wouldn’t surprise me if she was on prescribed anti-anxiety meds, something like Xanax or Klonopin. From everything that I’ve heard and read about Kim’s substance problems, it seems like at least some of the dependency on alcohol was likely out of an attempt to self-medicate her anxiety. I think that’s a fairly common thing among people who abuse substances.

  • Belle

    I was hoping you would comment on Kyle’s use of the f-bomb at the dinner party, considering she was (and still is) spearheading the campaign against Brandi and was seemingly the most offended at Brandi’s use of the word. I’m a little annoyed that Bravo has chosen to create a whole season centered around the comment Brandi made, but refuses to air the actual comment (I know, there may be, and probably are, legal reasons). It just seems foolish…I’m hoping it will come out during the Reunion or later in the season.

  • bac

    How sad Paris Hilton using her Aunt’s show to try
    and make herself relevant again!!!!

    • metz

      …and managed to remind us of how ridiculous she is/was…..dare I say stupid?

  • Yeranikm

    Amanda both formats are great I would read it backwards in Latin because your posts always make me laugh out loud. (I don’t read Latin I was just being dramatic)

  • sara

    Amanda, I too enjoy reading whatever you write. You are hilarious and so clever. I personally prefer your narrative but do realize the time involved there is likely much more than in doing bullet points. However you choose to write is fine with me. Keep up the good work!

  • Mandy

    I think I know why Mauricio is so passionate in his defense of Paul and Adrienne. To him, taking Brandi’s side does not make sense because he will not get much business from Brandi, but when it comes to Paul and Adrienne, well I guess they have the budget to spend more on property so obviously it makes no business sense to side with the broke single mother. Also explains why he quickly went to apologise to Ken with the Gin rather than the real offended party, Brandy. My same logic applies, Ken is more likely to use his services to purchase houses so it makes more sense.

    • Kristina

      True, until Brandi marries someone rich as hell and they go looking for a house. Then Mauricio will be kicking himself. But his behavior is extremely immature and makes me wonder about his level of professionalism in all manner of business dealings.

  • Leslie

    Loved the re-cap, but like most of it…I always do…You just seem to always nail it Amanda! I like this format too! These women are crazy…I know these recaps are work with no real payout for you, but I really do enjoy them more than the show for said recap. Thanks!!!

  • jomarie

    I had the most uncomfortable feeling of deja vue listening to Adrien. You don’t think she and Paul had a confab with Jill in New York. Imagine Jill setting up as a Reality Consultant. How to smear your way into the sympathies of viewers. It didn’t actually work for Jill and it’s not working for Adrien. We have nothing to gain from her largess so we can form our own opinions based on what we see. Adrien consistently proves that she just doesn’t have the smarts for manipulation. Long live the Queen. Long live Queen Lisa.

  • Pixel_Queen

    “Two native speakers of any language are allowed to speak that language to each other whenever…”

    With all due respect, I disagree. When there is a non-speaker present, I think it’s impolite to carry on a conversation in a language that they don’t understand — especially when *you* are in *their* country. I didn’t feel that Yolanda was being racist because, as she pointed out, she herself had been in the very same situation as a new immigrant.

    I say this as someone who is of mixed race and first generation American on my mother’s side.

  • Deb

    How about two part reviews – narrative and funny parts! You have me spoiled – I LOVE your recaps!

  • laura

    I prefer the narrative. I mean, the bullet point version is great too and I like to see it once in a while but I looove when you do the full recap. I understand it is easier for you but please don’t change it, I always look forward to your recaps.

  • xoxorcs

    mauricio is more “housewife” than some of the housewife on the show. i’m embarrassed for him.

  • metz

    I agree with most posters, Amanda….how ever you want to write it up is just fine…..just keep writing and, for heaven’s sake, don’t lose the snark. I think your eleven talking points pretty much nailed it!

  • Jeloi

    I thought it was great Amanda, straight to the point, Thanks again for the recap.

  • Jenn

    I love your recap either way, Amanda! =)

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