Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

To be perfectly honest, last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills felt like a bit of a waste of time. We got the run-up to the stripping, the run-up to Kim’s nose job and the run-up to some sort of weird dinner fight between Camille and Yolanda (and then Camille and Lisa), but very little in the way of actual action. I hate it when you do that to me, Bravo. We’ve talked about this.

Nonetheless, we had a show and that means we’ll have a recap, even if it’s in list form like it was last week. It’s hard to write a narrative if nothing resembling a narrative happens! So here it is: the things I noticed this week, both interesting and not-that-interesting.

1. Yolanda loves her Hermes belts. That’s because she doesn’t have a Prada backpack.

2. Suzanne Somers. Kyle thinks she might hold the secrets to immortality. Lisa’s not sure who she is.

3. Brandi went to stripper class to get ready to go to a stripper class. She wouldn’t want anyone to suspect that she was never a stripper, of course. Also, Stripper Teacher was super excitable. Truth be told, I don’t entirely understand the Brandi/stripping student/stripping teacher storyline.

4. Adrienne, Faye and Paul all came to Kyle’s house for 6th Grade Graduation. I’ll spare you my old-lady schpiel about how celebrating nonexistent milestones makes kids soft. The kids celebrated in an unseen part of the house while Kyle, Mauricio, Fay, Adrienne and Paul commenced a team meeting and a small metal ceremony for Faye, who was being honored for excellence in service to the team. In keeping with Faye’s overall aesthetic, the metal was the same color as her hair and skin.

5. Everyone packs for a Vegas trip differently. Kim hangs pictures and thinks about getting her nose fixed (because her doctor refused to fix anything else, she’ll have you know). Lisa roots through drawer after pristine drawer of perfect pink underwear. Marisa’s mother admonishes her somewhat questionable taste in very expensive maxi dresses. During that conversation, Marisa was wearing a halter top with a regular-strap nude bra, so perhaps she should give mom’s advice some additional thought.

6. Brandi’s best friend Jen is on Rehab with Dr. Drew. To clarify: She’s not IN rehab, she works for his rehab center. I have watched her chase a junkie down the street. I’m willing to admit that I watch Dr. Drew’s show because I trust you guys not to hold it against me.

7. We got more of Yolanda’s Lessons on How to Keep a Man. She has yet to address the fact that both Brandi and Camille were in excellent shape, kept themselves up, impressed their husband’s friends and stayed at home instead of pursuing their own careers when they were left by their husbands for other women. Also, Yolanda conveniently ignores that fact that she herself didn’t hold on to her first rich husband so well.

8. I’m the only person whose mother didn’t walk around naked in front of her. You guys know what I’m referring to. Don’t make me write it.

9. Oysters and green juice are gross. Another thing I feel comfortable admitting because I trust you guys. I don’t care if it makes me a philistine! They’re gross!

10. Kim wants to get her nose done because change is fun! There is nothing objectively bad about Kim’s nose. It’s not big, it’s not crooked. It’s just a regular nose. Also, her surgeon’s desk is super tacky. Her surgeon is not Paul, by the way, although I suspect Paul’s desk is tacky too.

And that was it, really. We could have spent the entire episode going through the drawer’s in Lisa’s apartment-sized closet and it would have been a much more thrilling episode.

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  • metz

    Boy-oh-boy…if there was ever a show that invited the list format, this was it. Ho-hum….I’m amazed you could even find talking points. But, thanks for the effort.

  • winterpenny

    There were some WTF moments last night…6th grade graduation? Really? I was waiting for some big extravagant gift, but I guess she has to wait five years to get her Mercedes. And your #8 (I can’t even say it)…why didn’t anyone ask the obvious question…totally inappropriate to let your child see that much. I would think it woud scar them for life!!!!!
    Regarding Yolanda…I’m still a fan. I think she is a self-perfectionist and so last night we saw her take her version of being a housewife to a new level. I do appreciate the fact that she seems to work hard at everything she does (gardening, cooking, decorating, etc.). And her husband obviously treats her very well. And she was dead on about women seeking the quick fixes to aging, rather than making better lifestyle choices.

    • LuvleyJubley

      Agree with your post about Yolanda. She does put her back into each and every endeavor, and it was classy the way she nicely insisted to Suzanne Somers that the conversation be off of her and on other pleasant things. My husband saw part of this episode and said to me, ‘No way she (Yolanda) cooked that meal’ for her husband. I said Yep, she did!, and backed up the DVD so he could see it. Yolanda is the first Housewife to have a fan in my husband.

  • withloveshmon.com

    can’t wait to watch this after your recap!

  • Karen

    I totally missed #8…. WTH happened??!!

    • Pixel_Queen

      Kid sees mom’s tampon string and asks why her vajayjay has a “price tag.” I thought that was hilarious.

  • Relli

    1. But how does she feel about sketchers?

    3. Ugh my bff is totally into pole dancing for fitness! Its not my thing but i dont judge, she has been through a lot in the last few years and it make her happy, so yeah not my cup of tea but i get it.

    4. Me too, and i have a kid. In the city i live in 8th grade graduation is a big thing, like they don cap & gowns and do the whole bit. Its just so weird i dont get it, save it for high school.

    6. No judgment! I am currently very into cheer perfection, mostly because i believe 1 of the mothers to be an alternate universe version of my other bff (not the pole dancing enthusiast as aformentioned, seriosuly they were my dual MOH in my wedding).

    Curious though, i heard there was some round table gossiping of LeAnn. As someone who has followed the saga long before Brandi was a RHW i am going to have to watch it for myself.

    Also, can you believe adrienne is dating that dude from Sons of hollywood? That show was pure trash, i pray they stay together long enough to film next season just for his vocal stylings alone!

    • LuvleyJubley

      Relli, I took a pole-dancing class with a good girlfriend. And if you knew me, you would know that this is SO not my bag of rice; but for a friend I did it anyway. I was a much more athletic and labor-intensive that I thought it would be. I thought my legs were strong, but I didn’t trust them to hold my body weight 8 feet up, no hands…terrified of losing grip and snapping my neck upon impact. What would my obituary look like? ;) I have a new-found respect for women working that pole.

  • kris

    Well, there was Brandi’s little beat down of Marissa re: chill on the husband bashing.”He loves you more you love him.” Or something to that effect. Honestly, last week’s episode with Marissa bemoaning her marital life was a little uncomfortable. He seems like a good guy who isn’t into making a sh*tload of money from crummy blockbusters. So not being a huge Brandi fan, kudos to her for calling Marissa out on that. For once, being a loose cannon, was helpful.

  • cookiecthulhu

    Kim wants a nose job so she can have a prescription for pain killers. junkies will injure themselves or have unnecessary surgery and dental work for drugs. really, it happens.

  • Steph

    I’m beyond curious what brandi said about Adrienne. Please correct me if I’m wrong…wasn’t Adrienne the one that introduced/brought Brandi into the housewives. I feel very convienced that Adrienne was planning something and things
    Didn’t work out with Brandi as per why Brandi keeps saying that they bullied her. And I’m sorry that whole dinner at Kyles with Adrienne felt so fake. Like they are doing damage control. Sorry if this was discussed already. Amanda great recap I watch to read your recap.

  • Ann Marie

    What handbag was Camille wearing in the limo – two tone LV?? Can’t find it on internet.

    • piperhallie

      It was a special edition Neverfull from last year called the Rayure

  • Jaime Smith

    I have to admit the best part of
    this episode was the interaction between Marisa and her mother; I hope they
    bring Marisa’s mother back for the rest of the season. I actually liked this episode
    of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills; when it aired I couldn’t wait to see
    it, so I rushed home from my long work day at DISH to watch it. Monday nights
    in the past was a struggle between me and my husband for the television; he
    likes to watch sports when I watch my favorite shows. We solved our problem
    with a new DISH Hopper Whole-Home HD DVR; with it we can watch four different
    programs at the same time in different rooms. Now I get my “me” time with the
    TV.

    • LuvleyJubley

      Great interaction, I agree! The arguements over the maxi-dresses were hysterical. Less flashy but still as funny as the Marisol/Elsa interactions on RHOM.

  • LuvleyJubley

    I didn’t think Kim’s nose job was necessary, and I still don’t; but I have to admit it’s a damned fine piece of work and I was genuinely shocked that it has the positive effect that it does. Btw, I really didn’t believe Kim when she said the surgeon would not work on her face. Kim’s skin has improved dramatically since she sobered up, but it’s not the skin of an eight-year old. And these surgeons will work on anyone’s skin, 18 and over, even when they clearly do not need it! Just saying.

    • Camille

      I’m sure he didn’t want to operate on someone with a chronic health condition, in her case alcoholism. I was actually embarassed for her when she was proudly rattling off about the doctor not thinking she needed any work done. Does she really think he refused her because she’s perfect? Clearly he didn’t want any part of operating on an alcoholic patient. Kim really needs AA. Instead of owning her disease and being upfront about it, she acts embarassed and is angry with Brandy for calling her out. That isn’t the attitude of someone who has faced their demons and accepted that this is who they are. She wants to pretend it never happened and lives in denial.

  • http://www.facebook.com/mehrten Mehrten Sustituido

    wooh i like the iphone case :))) taht caught my attention hope it’s genuine hehe

  • SweetCherriPie

    Kims nose surgery is narcissistic.

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