So, what happened last night on Real Housewives of Atlanta? Did the producers get lazy? Did they run out of story lines? Perhaps they just ran out of compelling story lines; at least that much seemed evident.
A bunch of stuff happened, but none of it added up to much. Kim shopped, because all she does is spend Big Poppa’s money and pretend it’s her own. Sheree tried to plan an event, because all she does is plan events that never happen. Nene had a charity event that forced me to look at Dwight’s balls (AGAIN, SECOND TIME THIS SEASON), and that doesn’t seem particularly charitable to me. Lisa continued to not have babies and maybe insinuated that Keith Sweat was an abusive husband. Kandi just made me sad because we all know what’s gone on in her life between then and now. I have no jokes about that.
But if you’d like to hear more jokes about Dwight’s junk, though, I think you know where to find those.
So, remember last year when Nene had the Big Hat Brunch to raise money for her domestic abuse charity? Well, she abandoned that idea and decided to have a high heel marathon this year. And by marathon, she meant a few blocks in her neighborhood with about 30 people. But it was actually kind of adorable, despite the fact that that running in heels makes my ankles hurt just by watching it. And of course, because Nene is a budding gay icon, she had just as many fabulous gheys running in heels as there were women, and that was the best part.
Chief among them, of course, was Dwight, King of the Atlanta Gays. For some reason, Lisa didn’t think that his first running ensemble was assaulting my eyes hard enough, so she encouraged him to change into a unitard that he had handily brought along for the occasion, just in case. And I’m forever thankful to the Bravo Powers That Be that his bits and pieces didn’t slip out the leg hole of that thing, just like I was elated last week that I got to live another day without seeing Kim’s nipples. Reality stars debase themselves enough – at least leave the dude’s balls to my imagination, mmk?
But he wasn’t the only fab gay there – do you remember Michael, who Nene and Lisa met at the hotel in Los Angeles a few weeks back? He flew in for the race! And he showed up in drag, replete with a blond wig and yellow platform heels. And let me tell you, that’s where the episode peaked for me. I loved him then, I love him now, give him his own show. But yes, everyone ran down the street, and it was kind of a small event, but hopefully they raised some cash for abuse victims.
So, uh, let’s see. Oh! Nene is coming to Athens in next week’s episode! Really exciting for me, probably not exciting for anyone else.
There was more stuff, I know there was…Dwight put some pants on at some point in order to accompany Sheree to the W Hotel and talk about the setup for She by Sheree presentation. He did all the talking, which Sheree didn’t like but it was probably in her best interest, since I doubt she would know a fashion show if it punched her in the throat.
He asked questions about capacity, lighting, making sure the space was cleaned and at the correct temperature to be filled to capacity – it didn’t seem like Sheree knew or cared about any of those things, which seems to support the notion Sheree doesn’t actually care about fashion, she just cares about mugging for the camera and stamping her name on anything that she can find. So, assumptions: confirmed.
Uh, Kim. She got her wig trimmed. Which is hilarious, since wigs aren’t alive, they don’t grow. She also bought like $600 worth of stuff for her kids and put in on a titanium AmEx which she insists is her own, which is silly, since Kim doesn’t have a job or family money. And then everyone made fun of Kim for being engaged to a man that not only is still married, but also still lives with his wife despite his vast fortune and ability to move out and, well, yes. Someone had to say it.
Lisa and Ed got some screen time this week, and it’s abundantly clear that Ed is a lot more charming than Lisa is. He worked out and realized that his knee is more torn up than he wants to admit, and his trainer indicated that perhaps he wasn’t NFL caliber any longer. Which is too bad, you hate to see someone lose the ability to do what he loves. So that just makes him want babies more, which is also too bad, since Lisa referred to any children she might have in the future as “extra babies.” Let’s hope that broadcasting career works out for Ed, I guess.
Which brings us to Kandi. It’s hard to watch video of someone when you know that you’re looking at a glimpse of her life before something major and tragic happened to her; I found myself wanting to warn her somehow. She’s getting her act together with her music and in this episode, she set the paperwork in motion to sign a deal with Columbia Records. There was some indication from Kim and Sheree that they were planning a surprise engagement party for her in the future – I wonder if we’ll see that footage now. If we do, it will be creepy at best.
I’m not sure if the relative calm of this episode is an indication that the season’s drama is winding down or if there will be more flare-ups in the next couple of weeks before the season come to a close, but I guess we’ll find out when we find out. Until then, I’m excited for Real Housewives of Athens next week.