Anyone ever notice that the people that most often insist that they hate drama are the ones that always find a way to make themselves the center of it? If not, that’s probably the biggest thing you can learn from Real Housewives of Atlanta. These ladies doth protest too much.
There were no enormous blow-ups or wig-tugging incidents in this episode, and it was probably better for it. Bravo should learn that when they don’t build up expectations of ridiculousness, the stuff that actually happens seems more interesting. Last week, they promised us the world and couldn’t deliver, but this week they promised very little and I was pleasantly surprised. The episode was a bit slow, but it seems to have set the stage for some new story lines to begin, and I’m all about getting some new drama that doesn’t involve Kim’s wig.
And also…was that Michael Lohan?
Yes, it was Michael Lohan. He wasn’t in the new episode, but rather in the “extended footage” of last week’s fight that aired beforehand. I can’t believe that Bravo didn’t include the fact that Lindsay Lohan’s insane born-again father was at the restaurant (apparently bringing an anti-smoking product he sponsors to Kim) when all of that went down. I call shenanigans! Heck, let him join the show. He’ll be the male Kim. Possibly my favorite part of the entire evening was watching Nene run down the street after him, in heels, yelling “Mr. Lohan! Mr. Lohan!” I laughed so hard, I nearly passed out.
Anyway, back to the new episode. It started out with Lisa planning trip out to LA for her grandma’s 92nd birthday and to visit the grave of her deceased older brother. Not to be insensitive, but…yawn. I don’t find Lisa to be that compelling of a character, and while it’s great that she’s visiting her grandma and sad that her brother passed, I’m not sure I want to hear about it. From next week’s previews, it looks like she’s going to take Nene with her, so that might be interesting. Key word in that sentence being might.
Next, we got to see Kim explore the amazing world of grammar and sentence structure with her kids and their nanny. To answer the question in this week’s title quote, no, “sightseeing” is not a verb. It’s a noun. But before that issue could even be settled, one of Kim’s daughters started jokingly rapping a prayer in Spanish, and the completely humorless nanny, who had been working for them for a grand total of five days, looked at her and told her she was going to h-e-double-hockey-sticks (our advertisers don’t like us to swear. Hi, advertisers!) for doing that. For a moment I thought she was joking, but it became clear very quickly that she was not. I would have FLIPPED OUT and fired her right there, and I’ll say this for Kim – she didn’t. She kept her cool. But later, when the nanny left the younger kid and a friend playing outside to go buy a tampon, Kim told her to hit the streets. What kind of nanny promises a twelve-year-old eternal damnation for a silly joke, in front of her employer, after less than a week of employment with the nanny? An unemployed nanny, that’s what kind!
Nene got a plug in for her book, which she fully admitted is being ghostwritten for her, and I find that kind of refreshing. I know people that have done ghostwriting before, and you wouldn’t believe how many books are ghostwritten (hint: more or less every book every written by anyone whose primary occupation is something other than “writer”). I’m not really sure where they were going with this scene, so we’ll move on.
Kandi is finally getting some interesting drama – she had dinner with her fiance to ask him to try and reach out to her mom and participate in a photo shoot with them, and despite the fact that I think he’s kinda cute, his reaction made me think her mom was right about him; he’s triflin’. Instead of agreeing to reach out to her, he told Kandi that she needs to stop listening to her so much. Suspect, right? Just talk to the girl’s mom. Make a friend. It’ll all be cool. But he can’t even do that for someone he wants to marry. As a result, he will heretofore be referred to as Kandi’s Triflin’ Fiance. He no longer gets a name.
After that, Sheree and Dwight took some of the other girls out for moral support while they went speed dating. Dwight looked like he had stuffed a cucumber down his leather pants and Sheree ended up talking to a 25-year-old and someone whose last relationship ended in a restraining order. ‘Twas not a great advertisement for speed dating.
And in then end, they all got together for cocktail hour at the King Tut exhibit that came through town not long ago. They managed to not all beat each other senseless because their kids were also there to see the exhibit, but of course, that doesn’t mean they won’t beat each other senseless the next time we see them. In fact, I think it makes it more likely! Kandi, who has an obvious problem staying away from triflin’ people, struck up a conversation about music with Kim and invited her to come out to the studio with her. Nene poked her head into the conversation to ask if she could get them anything (she was the one who had organized the event), and Kandi acted like that was a rude thing to do, which completely baffled me. I love it when people ask me if I need another drink. That means I’m not paying for it!
After Kandi’s somewhat rude reaction, Nene started joking that she was going to come to the studio and record too. It seemed like a pretty innocuous joke to me, although I understand that it can be irritating when someone thinks that your profession is something that anyone can do (if only you knew how many people ask me if PurseBlog is hiring when they hear I’m a blogger. They all “think they’d be great at it!”). But Nene was obviously making a joke about her previous drama over singing with Kim, and Kandi really acted holier-than-thou and snotty about it. They had all been drinking. People make stupid jokes when alcohol is involved. Kandi should understand this by now.
That was about it; like I said, it was a slow episode. But based on the previews for next week, it looks like this episode set us up for a throw down between Lisa and Kim and “hood”-off between Nene and Kandi. Until next time, folks.
Oh, oh, I almost forgot. In the “Watch What Happens” episode with Andy Cohen and Kim that aired at midnight – does anyone else think that Kim is starting to look like Lori Waring from the OC Housewives? She’s had so much plastic surgery that she has actually turned herself into a completely different reality star.