Real Housewives and other awesome TV Reality Show Recaps (Page 5)

WELL. This is a little late! Sorry y’all, I had an extremely inconveniently scheduled doctor’s appointment this afternoon, so Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is running a tad behind schedule. And if you were the woman sitting next to me at Dos Toros during the lunch rush today, yapping into your Bluetooth about last week’s episode, then I totally agree with you about Kyle’s behavior.

Anyway, let’s get this show on the road. Last night’s episode centered around a spa party at Adrienne’s house that eclipsed every spa party we’ve ever seen in the history of Real Housewives, which is a not-insignificant number of spa parties. Someone pass me a gold-sprinkled, chocolate-dipped strawberry and let’s dish.

Finally, after a million bazillion episodes, Real Housewives of New Jersey is over. Over for now, anyway! Apparently Bravo thinks that the drama between cast members is so juicy right now that they’ve fast-tracked the next season, so we’ll be rejoining our guidettes much sooner than we might have expected.

Before we start speculating about next season, though, we have to tie up this one. Last night’s second installment of the reunion was anticlimactic compared to the first one, butI suppose that the revelations about Caroline and Dina’s relationship were interesting enough to sustain most of it. Still, I’m glad that we get to move on to Atlanta in November.

Last night was the day we’ve all been waiting for during this season of The Rachel Zoe Project – it was baby day! A new Zoe-Berman was brought into the world, and although we (mercifully) did not see what happened in the delivery room, we did see the before part and the after part. Skyler, as we all know by now, is adorable. As if anyone ever had any doubts.

The baby wasn’t the only thing that happened, though. There was a giant diamond ring, the brief return of Jeremiah and a cameo by Molly Sims, for whom Joey had to fly to New York. Really, though, all anyone cares about is the baby. And maybe the diamond ring. (I definitely care about the ring.)

In the interest of full disclosure, I have a terrible cold right now, and I had it during last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills as well. So, you know, adjust your expectations of today’s recap accordingly, or at least don’t say that I didn’t warn you.

Last night’s episode of Beverly Hills wasn’t much to write home about anyway, other than the end of the previous week’s altercation between Brandi, Kyle and Sad Kim. After that, a bunch of lunches were had with various groupings of housewives, and in an unrelated scene, Lisa met the most obnoxious wedding planner ever. Yep, that’s about it.

Last night’s first installment of the Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion was a wall-to-wall Teresa bash-a-thon, and I couldn’t have loved it more. Some seasons of this show have a cast member that’s so badly in need of a public lashing that it’s disappointing when the reunion is less than that, and Teresa is one of those people. Thankfully, the reunion didn’t disappoint.

By the end of the hour, Andy Cohen seemed as exasperated with Teresa’s dim-witted double-speak as Caroline was, and the little gremlins inside of my chest where my heart is supposed to be cheered when he got snippy with her. If you were expecting Teresa to admit any kind of fault or give any sort of mea culpa, even a small one, though, you ended up disappointed. In the grand tradition of reunion recaps, let’s go over what we learned.

On last night’s episode of The Rachel Zoe Project, kind of a lot managed to happen for a show where mostly not much goes on. Rachel styled an Elle photo shoot, she posed for the cover of the Hollywood Reporter and she fake-fired her new hottie assistant Jeremiah. I’m winded just thinking about it!

For those of you who tune in to see Jeremiah’s pretty face, don’t fret. He’ll get rehired eventually, and he’ll be in the episodes until then. If Rachel’s skipping fashion week and the baby hasn’t shown up to say hello yet, we have to have some kind of drama, right? Of course. This is Bravo we’re talking about here.

A very large part of me wishes that I could entirely ignore the Kim debacle on last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and instead just talk about Lisa. Lisa is lovely! She’s wonderful. Lisa is made of sunshine and puppies and rainbows, and I would like to move in with her. You know, just in case any of you know her and could potentially make that happen.

Anyway, I suppose we have to talk about Sad Kim, even though her sister insists that she’s fine, just fine, and she’s acted like this since she was a kid. If that’s true, what proportion of her life has she spent having fits in bathrooms? Like 30%? How Bravo even sees fit to exploit her on television is beyond me. They should be ashamed of themselves, but I’m not sure anyone at Bravo has the capacity for shame. On to the recap!