Real Housewives and other awesome TV Reality Show Recaps (Page 2)

How is everyone doing on this lovely Martin Luther King Day? I hope you’re all using your day off as a day “on” in your community, but if you’re stuck at the office (or simply too lazy to do something to better humanity), the Real Housewives of Atlanta did us all a favor by showing up to work last night. Sort of, anyway.

If this episode felt like a placeholder to you, it’s because it probably was. Airing a show with an overwhelmingly female audience opposite of something like the Golden Globes telecast is a losing proposition if you actually care who sees the episode, but if it’s just a bunch of random scenes thrown together before a big plot point happens, then it’s perfect. How many of you actually watched Real Housewives last night?

When trying to describe last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, the only term I can think of that accurately conveys my feelings about the whole debacle is “hot mess.” Kim and Ken finally deigned to show up in Hawaii for their free vacation, and when they did, they made everyone wish that they hadn’t ever been invited in the first place.

In and of itself, that probably wasn’t a surprise, and neither was the fact that Ken acted like a total creeper the entire time. The extent to which he was actually scary, though, surprised even me, as did the extent to which neither of them seemed to think that their chronic lateness and disregard for the rest of the group would be an issue for anyone. Surprise! It totally was.

It seems like it’s been eight years since we last saw an episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta, doesn’t it? Apparently Bravo couldn’t really remember what was going on when we last visited with this group either, because last night’s episode wasn’t exactly action-packed and full of drama. It was amusing enough, though. The Atlanta wives always are.

We got an opportunity to spend a little more time with our new quasi-housewife Marlo, who copped to her long arrest record but then tried to create a diversion by taking us to Ted Turner’s house. All in all, a solid ploy! We also visited a funeral home with Phaedra and Apollo and a marriage counselor with Peter and Cynthia, both of which were about as awkward and unpleasant as one might expect.

So did you know that there was a new episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills on last night? I had no idea. There was no corresponding episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta on Sunday night, so I thought that we were all free and clear until next week. Not so!

The show lacked any major fights or meltdowns, but it was pretty entertaining nonetheless. If I had my way, Brandi would go to every taping three cocktails deep and full of Xanax. That would probably be bad for her health, though, so I suppose I can include that in my nightly prayers. Oh well. A girl can dream. I bet the dreams are extra interesting on a klonopina colada.

Well then. Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was another one that wasn’t so much funny as it was kind of alarming and anxious-making, this time on both the Kim and Taylor fronts. If those two were to collide in their current states, I shudder to think of the carnage that would ensue.

Last night, though, it was mostly Kim vs. Brandi and Taylor vs. the rest of the cast, and perhaps predictably, neither Kim nor Taylor came away victorious. Both interactions were a little disturbing in different ways, but let’s just say that I’m glad Kim has checked herself into rehab. I feel like we should at least have a moment of positivity before we dive into the rest of this episode.

Despite the fact that I missed the surprise mid-week episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta, I was able to get all caught up for last night’s new show. And despite the fact that it was one of those extended episodes that usually drag on and make me want to scream, a lot of interesting stuff actually happened.

Not only did we get a new maybe-Housewife, Marlo, but she has a huge arrest record and Kandi thinks she might charge for her, uh, affection. Cynthia launched her modeling agency, Kim moved into a new house with a tiny newborn, Phaedra and Sheree rehashed their previous appearance in court. That’s kind of a lot, right? Also, please excuse the lame title quote. Everything else that was said during this episode was too profane for a family blog.

So here’s the deal, y’all. I didn’t know that there was a new episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta on last night until everyone started tweeting at me to ask if I was watching it while I was at a dinner party, so there’s no recap today. If Bravo wants people to write about its shows, they shouldn’t be springing random, mid-week episodes on us! Also, I had something called a “beet cobbler” last night, which sounds weird but was totally delicious, and it was way better than watching Real Housewives.

I’m assuming that at least a few of you were less clueless than I was and caught the episode, and for that, I’m slightly jealous. The Atlanta wives are my favorite, as you all know, and I’m going to try and catch a repeat this evening and chime in in the comments. For now, though, feel free to talk amongst yourselves. Was the episode last night any good? I heard on Twitter that it was worth a watch.