I’m back, you guys, after a much-needed break from all things Kardashian! This week’s episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians was a bit of a doozy, was it not? A splash of trifling Jenner sister drama, a dash of legit Rob legal drama and a few drops of Scott’s social anxiety drama all made for a KUWTK cocktail that was certainly more bitter than sweet, but we have much to discuss! Let’s dive in, shall we?
Rob Kardashian’s rather delicate emotional state has been well documented on this season of KUWTK. He’s constantly locking himself in his room, and according to Khloe, he “cries at all times.” In last night’s episode, things were coming to a head. There was a very early to-do about Rob’s car getting stolen/towed/impounded, but none of the Kardashian girls believed him when he called home for help because it was a very minor sort of “boy who cried wolf” type scenario. When Rob did taxi himself home, he called everyone out for doubting him and not having his back, and in turn, every Kardashian/Jenner woman in the room yelled at him for being such a liar. Mysteriously, the case of Rob Kardashian’s disappearing car is never cracked. I’m guessing it’s still sitting in an impound lot somewhere, and they just bought him a new one.
Later, Rob had what was portrayed as a pretty minor encounter with a paparazzo whilst on private property, but an arrest warrant was issued nonetheless and it turned into a bit of a big deal. Even though this plotline was excessively hyped in the previews this week, there was precious little info presented about what actually transpired between Rob and the paparazzo, so I had to do a little of my own research. Rob was charged with battery and petty theft by a female photog last March who alleged that Rob charged at her and hit her, causing contusions on her arms, before taking her camera and confiscating her memory card. The photog had tried to take a few shirtless photos of Rob hanging out at a gym. Rob pled “not guilty” in court, but the case was resolved with a civil settlement. (Nothing screams “guilt-free” like placating someone with a little hush money.)
While absolutely none of the details above are included in this ep, no one can stop talking about how Rob has anger issues and is in desperate need of therapy. The girls insist Kris should instigate the conversation with Rob because it’s her fault he’s such a huge baby. Kris speaks to a therapist on camera before confronting Rob, and many a tear was shed by both parties, despite the fact that Rob does not think he needs therapy, at all, and is insulted by the suggestion.
Personally, I think Rob’s problem is that the vast majority of money he makes comes from just being himself on national TV, which can be hard when you don’t get a lot of private time outside the spotlight to figure out who the hell you really are. Celebs either have to pretend to have it together, embrace their troublemaker/bad boy status or abandon all semblance of sanity. (Looking at you, Ms. Bynes). But this is exactly what KUTWK subsists on – people “growing” and making bad choices in a very public way. Scott and Kim and their assorted life antics/mistakes have been a huge source of fodder for KUTWK, for example. In any case, attending a “private” therapy session on camera isn’t gonna make anyone feel better about the situation, and being called out about how much time he spends alone in his room won’t help either. Rob’s declarations that he’s totally in tune with what’s going on inside of him aren’t super accurate, of course.
Meanwhile, there was a minor rift developing between the Jenner sisters. Kendall and Kylie have markedly different career aspirations – they want different things in life, like to be a high fashion model, and…not to be a high fashion model, respectively. Some photographer fancypants expressed his opinion early on in the episode that Kendall was already right on par with the likes of Candice Swanepoel. He stressed, however, that she should strike while the iron was hot, because the lifespan of a high fashion model begins at a very young age and then peters out faster than a fruit fly’s.
Also, the girls have their own clothing line, I guess? Apparently they’ve collaborated with mallrat haunt PacSun to develop a summer clothing line, which I suspect is in stores now. Despite all of their biz endeavors, Kendall and Kylie were barely even hanging out any more outside of work. They got into several minor squabbles throughout this ep that were insanely trivial, and for whatever reason, involved multiple family members. (SKI PANTS! CANCELED DINNER DATES!) Kendall was blamed for all of Kylie’s BS, and vice versa. (I suspect that this is partially because no one can tell them apart, despite the fact that they are not twins.) For whatever reason, big sis Khloe was always a few steps away, waiting in the wings to mediate any sisterly smackdowns, because sister harmony is really important to her, and she is, in every sense, the middle sister nexus that holds the Kardashian and Jenner sisters together. After some time at a trampoline gym and a little rummaging through old photo albums, the Jenner baby bitchfest cooled down and everyone lived happily ever after.
In this week’s third, barely mentionable minor plotline, Scott Disick wanted to be a racecar driver. He’s already an English Lord and a restauranteur, so why not? Scott signed up to get his racing license, but clearly didn’t read the syllabus or come prepared with necessary materials like a helmet. His mild anxiety forced him to ditch class early (and probably eternally). Why was everyone being such a huge baby in the episode? The idea that overly forward Scott Disick could wilt into such a shy little wallflower when faced with a room full of dudes who might be (and probably are) better at something than he is, is barely believable, honestly. Later, after he returned to LA, he had a candid convo with Kourtney about how everyone expects him to fail, and that hampers him emotionally, socially, and professionally. Kourtney gave him the sort of support that can only come from a woman who is your two-time baby mama but absolutely refuses to marry you, and they decided that what other people thought about Scott and his life decisions wasn’t at all important! Valuable life lessons all around, you guys. (By the by, the NYC sushi-fusion restaurant Scott opened last season closed before the new year, though Scott had reportedly cashed out a few months prior.)
A few extra takeaways from this week:
Kim was HEAVILY pregnant in this episode and acted super sensitive about her weight, for obvious reasons. Meanwhile, I’m already seeing tabloid covers about how she can’t stop “eating for two.” C’MON, PEOPLE.
BREAKING NEWS: Kourtney Kardashian is a professed wallpaper ADDICT. Check her into wallpaper rehab before she outfits her entire pad in batik with a single chevron accent wall.
This was a GREAT episode for bags – I spotted Kourtney with her beautiful baby blue Celine Trio (we actually did a post of Kourt in this very outfit a few months ago) while the girls were out shopping for home goods. Kris was carrying a GORGEOUS ruby red Tom Ford Natalia Shoulder Bag when she went to confront Rob, and an unidentified friend of Kris also had a beige Celine Luggage Tote in another scene. Did you spot any other choice designer goodies?
Also: NORTH WEST. That is all.
Next week on KUWTK: Kris Jenner pees in the backyard! For some reason!
UGH, were you as annoyed with this ep as I was? Dish away in the comments below!