This episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians opened with the infamous “flour bombing” incident from last April. While it seemed fairly dramatic (and Kim seemed fairly mad) at the time, here we just saw Kim cracking jokes and brushing it off (both literally and figuratively) and stepping back out on to the red carpet. The incident is just a little blip in this episode, but if it hadn’t been around the same time Kim and Kanye started to get publicly cozy, it probably would’ve been a much bigger plot point.
Elsewhere, peeps were still putting pressure on Khloe to haul Lamar’s giant ass out to NYC for Scott’s restaurant opening. Khloe wasn’t taking their calls, but after a barrage of sweet tweets and phone messages from Kim, (and an apology for yesterday night’s “Odom vs. Kardashian” debate), she was finally wooed back into the clan. SUCKER. She eventually pitches the NYC trip to Lamar, who was excited about it, in a very vocal, nay, musical kind of way. Now that Kourtney was back on Team Kardashian and Lamar was down for the NYC trip, everyone could finally focus their haterism on its most frequent and willing receptacle: SCOTT.
I occasionally felt genuine sympathy for Scott during this episode, which was shocking, even to me. Scott was dying to impress Kourtney with his swanky new NYC restaurant because Kourtney had, uh, expressed doubts about his abilities to complete said project in the past, as had almost everyone else. (“I’ll believe it when I see it,” is not something you say to your faux spouse, Kourt.) Also, what exactly Scott does for a living, if anything, has always remained a mystery.
In Kim relationship news (which this season has been woefully devoid of), as we all remember, once upon a time, Kanye West wrote a song about Kim, which tipped her family off that they might be dating. How else would they know? The Kardashians are such private people…Kim was coy about her relationship status with Kanye, but everyone knew that something was up, especially when she rolled out in Kanye’s sportscar. People couldn’t understand why she was being so tight-lipped about it…(*divorce proceedings cough cough*)
Meanwhile, Rob was being a little green-eyed monster about Scott’s business “success” because the launch of his sock line had been delayed because he, uh, missed the buying season. (Kind of a big deal in the fashion/sock world, Rob.) That made Rob sad, and it also reminded us to buy socks.
Scott flew to New York a few days early to oversee the finishing touches on Ryu, and as soon as he gets there, he’s insta-stressed because nothing looks finished. When the now-happily united fam arrived, he paid them little mind because he was crazy busy/freaking out about his restaurant opening, or not opening, as the case may be – except when he parties with Rob till 6 am. This greatly vexed all the Kardashian women, but Kourtney seemed strangely chill about it, which infuriated them even more. Khloe and Kris grilled Kourtney; isn’t she sick of his bad boy (lite) behavior? Doesn’t she want to break up with him? To which she replied, “I always do. I’m not sure if it’s just hormones, or if I just hate him, I dunno.” Then her mom dropped some not-so-subtle hints that she deserves better. Oh wait, she said that VERBATIM.
The fam took it upon themselves, as they so often do, to give Scott shizz for basically being Scott, thus reinforcing that tried-and-true Kardashian family tradition of “supporting” someone while totally undermining them non-stop at the same time. Even Rob gave Scott a lecture on his personal failings re: his relationship with baby mama Kourtney, which was funny, because he was equally to blame for the night’s escapades. Rob eventually realized how stupid this was when he later sounded off to big sis (and winner of the Most Patient Listener badge) Kim. He was just pissed because Scott has actually completed his pet project before him.
Anyways, as we all know, “Kimye” is definitely (still) happening, and in this episode, Kanye and Kim went public. Kim had been trying to be all private about it, because, you know, she’s been badly burned recently by too much relationship publicity, AND her divorce isn’t finalized yet (and still isn’t? WTF). But now that she was proudly flaunting “KW” stud earrings, everyone was totally stoked for her, because “Kim deserves to be happy,” and if everything goes well, they can all probably add another digit to their combined net worth. Kanye’s appearances on the Kardasha-cams are minimal, and I must say that for a guy who raps a ginormous game, Kanye seems incredibly shy on camera. Maybe he’s just thrown by that whole fourth wall thing. He shows up to give Kim’s outfit the Kanye stamp of approval, and then BAM. It’s finally time to christen Scott’s restaurant.
The restaurant was finished on time, and things went fairly smoothly – there’s a red carpet set-up and a lot of press – which all seems totally dwarfed by the industrial majesty that is the Meatpacking District. Once inside, one of the more serious couples on the Kardashians sat down to address their “bromance” – I’m talking of course, about Scott and Rob, whose relationship matures like a fine wine with each passing episode. Scott assured Rob that he is like a brother to him, and we know Rob feels the same way. Rob and Scott’s chemistry is like 1200% more authentic that Kourt and Scott’s. Sad but true. After the launch, Kourtney gave Scott another piece of jewelry. Remember the “commitment bracelet” from 2 episodes ago? She’s quick to assert that, just like the “commitment bracelet,” this “love ring” does not mean they’re engaged either, but signifies…something.
The next morning, Kris and Kim talked smack about Scott on the roof of their hotel, and dished about Kanye. END SCENE. Next week: everyone continues to hate on Scott Disick…in jolly old England!