Y’all, I’m really hard to shop for. I have poor impulse control when I decide that I really must have something, and that leaves precious few gifts to buy at the end of the year. As if that wasn’t enough, my birthday is Christmas Eve, which only doubles the burden on anyone trying to buy anything for me, ever.
The safe money is usually on just taking me out to dinner and calling it a gift, but if anyone were to be confident or generous enough to try and buy me material goods for the holidays, here’s a sampler of what I might want. Unless, you know, I manage to buy all these things by the time this post runs.
1. Alexander Wang Donna Hobo: Of course, we have to start with the handbag. I’m a hipster at heart, as anyone that’s seen my current hair color or glasses could probably guess, and every hipster needs a black leather Alexander Wang handbag. The Donna is both impossibly cool and totally functional. Buy through ShopBop, $795.
2. University of Georgia “I Run This State” T-shirt: Totally not kidding. College football and my University of Georgia Bulldogs are my first love, even before handbags. Over Thanksgiving weekend, we knocked off the #7 ranked Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets and shut up all the mouthy Tech fans on my Facebook news feed for another year, and I would like to have this t-shirt to commemorate that victory. In reality, I’m not much of a t-shirt wearer, so I’d like to have it in an XXL that I can sleep in. Buy through FootballFanatics.com, $24.95.
3. Apple 15″ MacBook Pro: I sit on my couch and type on my two-plus-year-old MacBook Pro 40+ hours per week, and I’ve knocked it off my ottoman more times than I care to mention. It’s scratched, cracked, and honestly kind of dirty, but still runs like a champ (well, the optical drive doesn’t exactly work anymore. Like I said, I’ve knocked it on the floor a few times). In a perfect world, though, I’d like a shiny new one on which to click-clack away. Buy through Apple for $1699.
4. Ray-Ban Propionate Aviator Sunglasses: I’m something of a Ray-Ban addict overall, and over the past few weeks, this particular model has come to my attention as a result of Elin Nordegren’s apparent affection for it and her unfortunate newfound tabloid presence. I have wire-frame aviators and plastic-frame Wayfarers, so…why not a plastic-frame aviator? Sign me up, although I can’t decide between black and tortoise shell. Buy through Saks for $130.
5. Target Zebra Decorative Pillows: I…I really can’t explain this one. I just want some zebra-print pillows for my bed. I’ve wanted some for like a year and a half, and someone finally decided to make some that are cheap and graphic and simple. I have black sheets and a chartreuse and white duvet and I just think it would look cool. Gimme. Buy through Target for $19.99.