I was going to try and figure out how to link this back to handbags in some sort of tenuous, cursory way so that it made sense that I was writing it, but then I realized that I’ve been writing about Real Housewives for well over a year with absolutely no logical link between those posts and the normal subject matter of this blog and decided to dispense with that pretense entirely. And no one’s really thinking about bags today anyway, right? It’s New Year’s Eve. You should all be thinking about champagne and glitter and how crappy 2010 turned out to be. But mostly champagne and glitter!

Because this is a special sort of holiday that requires its own special wardrobe, booze and events, let’s take a look at the things we do and ways we behave on New Year’s Eve that really aren’t acceptable for adults on any other day of the year. Except for Halloween, of course, but that’s a whole different post that I should have written two months ago.

1. Standing out in the middle of Times Square for hours on end. Really, Times Square? It’s already a craven, Disney-fied tourist trap on every other day of the year, but on New Year’s Eve it’s like the whole area took a giant hit of meth and decided it would be cool to stay up all night and grind its metaphorical teeth. There is no way that going to Times Square on New Year’s Eve is advisable in any way, shape or form, but literally thousands of people convince themselves that for New Year’s, it’ll be great. Really. That kind of faulty logic isn’t to be tolerated on any other day.

2. Dressing in head-to-toe sparkles. I love sequins, rhinestones and glitter just as much as the next girl, but making an entire outfit out of them makes you look like a life-size, spangly Disco Barbie. At a normal party requiring cocktail attire, you can either wear a sequined dress or sparkly accessories. On New Year’s Eve, you’ll have the most boring outfit at the club if you don’t do both.

3. Speaking of sparkles: glitter eyeliner. Full disclosure: I own glitter eyeliner. I bought it of my own free will, and I allow it to socialize with the rest of my eyeliner in my makeup kit. It was purchased for Halloween, though, and since I don’t go to raves (do they still have raves?) or make a habit of recreating early-2000s Britney Spears videos in my spare time, that’s the only time I’ve ever worn it. Will I wear it tonight? Girl, you know it.

4. Drinking Andre champagne. Never had Andre? Don’t try it. There’s no excuse for it. But across America tomorrow night, people young and old will imbibe what is possibly the cheapest, worst sparkling wine that their local grocery stores carry, mostly because it’s just what you do. Extra points if you drink it straight from the bottle, with the possibility for bonus points if you do so with a very long straw. As with a glitter outfit, if you’re not doing this on New Year’s, you might as well be standing in the corner with a dunce cap on. Any other time? People assume that you have some sort of problem. If not several problems. And really, they have a point.

5. Listening to this Prince song.

Oh, who am I kidding? Prince is awesome all the time. Have a safe and ridiculous time tonight, everyone!

  • Jen

    I would LOVE to get all dressed up and spend NYE in Times Square… That would be -amazing-. (ipad)

  • SHERRY

    i am def thinking about champagne and glitter but for later tonight (ipad)

  • SHERRY

    i could never bring myself to go to times square to watch the ball drop (ipad)

  • milwifey

    I’ve never been to NYC yet alone on New Year’s Eve. I don’t drink or party much but if I wanted one awesome night of debauchery, then New Year’s Eve in NYC would be the place to do it! (ipad)

  • Jean

    Love this. I plan on doing all of those things (minus Times Square).

  • 19yearslater

    Great post. Having been to NYC only as a tourist I love Time’s Square any time, I can’t help thinking it would be a little less fun with all those people crammed in, actually. Also, I am totally breaking out my sequins tonight. (ipad)

  • Ellen

    I’ve never been at Times Square on New Year’s Eve but I love getting dressed up every year, no matter what kind of party it is. (ipad)

  • Tonya

    I’m going to be home sleep…now that I’m older it’s hard to stay up past 12am…(ipad)

  • Kymmie

    Dear Amanda,

    I adore your snark. It is profoundly amusing.

  • nini

    happy new years!! (ipad)

  • Marianna

    LOL Back away from the Andre!! When people tell me they don’t like “champagne” I know they are thinking of this swill or the almost as bad Korbel. No glitter here but I will be wearing a teal velvet jacket and of course a fabulous handbag! I have lived in NY all my life and never once felt the need to do the Time Square thing. But that’s just me! Everyone have a safe, healthy, prosperous, Happy New Year! (iPad)

  • Adrienne C

    happy new years folks! (ipad)

    • LUCY

      Funny and cute article. I love the girls who try to wear heals and drink too much, at the end of the night they are wobbling like crazy. (ipad)

  • savvyblonde

    I’m always thinking about glitter ( iPad)

  • kmroboto

    are you kidding me? new year’s eve is exciting because it’s one of the few times i can use a clutch! (ipad)

  • ninjaninja

    Standing in New York Time Squares for the New Year is on my list to do! (ipad)

  • gl0wing

    Happy New Years everyone! I am in NJ tonight and thought about going to New York, but I can’t get my boyfriend to go! Oh well. It will still be an amazing night in! (ipad)

  • gl0wing

    I love champagne! and glitter of course! :) (ipad)

  • annabelle

    happy new years everyone (ipad)

  • prettybird

    I’m considering doing Times Square this year because I’ve never done it before and the weather isn’t so bad, but it’s more to say that I’ve done it, not that I really want to go. =P (ipad)

  • cl

    Amanda, put the glitter eyeliner to use, unless it’s some outrageous, never before-seen color of eyeliner, than i think it’s probably safe to be left untouched! & i have seen PLENTY of those disco barbies. was considering being one for christmas of all times haha Happy new years to you & the rest of the PB staff :) (ipad)

  • wendy

    Hooray for champagne and glitter! Happy New Year everyone! Have a safe and fun night! (ipad)

  • susan

    You can on certain holidays also let more of your body show then you normally would and no one cares. (ipad)

  • Jearv

    Ahaha, I think the glitter and sparkles are totally true. I don’t like it but everybody else does! (ipad)

  • Shawna

    How funny – just today I put on silver glitter eyeshadow (it was in my stocking at Christmas). It wasn’t horrific either. (ipad)

  • Jenn

    Hehe here’s to glitter (ipad)

  • Jenn

    and here’s to a fantastic NYE (ipad)

  • Jenn

    and to a sparkling night! (ipad)

  • poonski

    Ahhh lovely!! (ipad)

  • Chic ‘n Cheap Living

    Native New Yorker and never stood in Times Square and never will though I will try to sneak in sequins rest of the year (ipad)

  • Debbie

    I have never been to Times Square during New Years.

    These days I like to have quiet evenings at home. (ipad)

  • sebastian Giam

    well said!!!! i couldnt agree more :)) (IPAD)

  • Andrea

    I love glitter (ipad)

  • ninjaninja

    On second thought, since it’s so cold here, it might be better to usher in the new year somewhere warm. (ipad)

  • Kieu D.

    Happy New Year! (ipad)

  • Holly

    Sorry, but I don’t think any time is a good time for Prince….:P (ipad)

  • PrincessGarnet

    I like glitter, but not on me. I prefer sequins anytime. Easier to clean up! And champagne is good, but only if the alcohol isn’t strong. Right now I’m just hoping 2011 Won’t go as fast like 2009-2010 did. I hate it when the years go by fast! It’s hard to keep up. (iPad)

  • Jessie

    Hmm. I did NONE of the above (especially seeing as I’m in Australia!), but the one thing I think is COMPLETELY unacceptable is “year glasses”- you know, like the ones everyone wore for the year 2000? So. Bad.
    And yet people still wear them. Oh god. (ipad)

  • Mousse

    Enjoying our L’Ermitage 2002. (ipad)

  • Caroline

    I’m attracted to pretty sparklies like a magpie, but after seeing dozens of glitter-adorned gals around, I’ve come to the conclusion that glitter on the face is just not attractive on anyone IRL. (ipad)

  • April

    Check on every point!!! (iPad)

  • Jaz

    Too funny but too true.
    (ipad)

  • Cheddar

    I think my wife would divorce me if I dressed in head-to-toe sparkles and wore glittery eyeliner… no matter WHAT day it was!! (ipad)

  • Claire

    I sooooo hope to spend New Year in Times Square one day… perhaps when the kids are older! xx (ipad)

  • Rae

    I live in NY and don’t think I would do the Time Square thing, wayyy toooo many people. Happy New Year all! *Cheers* (ipad)

  • Lolita Abraham
  • Bisbee

    DH and I were awake at midnight – that in itself was a miracle!

    Happy New Year!!! (iPad)

  • marcy

    Happy New year to all (ipad)

  • Tracey G

    Hope everyone had a wonderful New Year (ipad)

  • Antonia

    Funny! (ipad)

  • Ping

    Amanda, I love ur list bc I have done it all and not necessarily
    All on new yr s eve! (ie sparkling outfit:). Times sq new yr s eve is something I did in college and will never do it again unless I have reserved a hotel in times sq (great memories but crazy).
    I have sequin pants to clogs fr miu miu studded in sparkles and matching sequin d&g bag:). I never heard of Andre only bc I’m not a big drinker bu have drunk other champagnes. Now I open a bottle of my fav wine call dominus every new yes eve! As for prince s song, that is great anytime!

  • Joy

    Happy New Year! (iPad)

  • Shannon

    all very true!! especially the glitter and sparkles :) (ipad)

  • Grannybiker

    Lovely bags (ipad)

  • Grannybiker

    Joyous 2011 (ipad)

  • Cate

    Happy New Year!!! (ipad)

  • Courtneyh

    Happy New Year!!! (ipad)

  • Simar

    Happy New Year! (ipad)

  • KTintheUK

    YES! Happy Hogmanay! (ipad)

  • Pam

    Happy New Year!!! (pad)

  • flu

    Happy new year! (ipad)

  • Lisa P

    Happy New Year! (ipad)

  • Sue

    Thanks for the laughs all year. (Ipad)

  • Shana

    I would add, wearing a tiara that says HAPPY NEW YEAR! (iPad)

  • Maya

    Happy new Year!! (iPad)

  • Amy

    Ive done the time square thing, .. probably wont ever do it again. I done to say i did, you know, only once. loved the post Amanda.

  • Paul Wilson

    Happy New Year! (ipad)

  • quimerula

    Happy New Year! (ipad).

  • Pearl

    Happy New Year…sparkles are niiiice! (ipad)

  • Tracey G

    happy new year! (ipad)

  • Erik

    happy new year everyone (ipad)

  • christine

    Haha. Serious. Prince is awesome. And even when I throw a smallish New Year’s party instead of going out, every woman I invite is dressed in sparkles! It’s hilarious. :) (ipad)

  • Lydia

    Happy New Year (ipad)

  • Fiel

    Happy New Year! I really wanted to dress up in something sparkly! (ipad)

  • Melody

    New Years is great! 2011 Will be the best!! :) (ipad)

  • Stevie Marie

    Happy new Year! (Ipad)

  • Kasey

    Happy New Year! Here’s to more glitter! (ipad)

  • Jelita78

    Hahahah
    Ohhh that was a good one! (ipad)

  • Jelita78

    Oppss, forgot to add, Happy 2011 to all.. (ipad)

  • Adrienne C

    happy new year! (ipad)

  • Elizabeth

    what – no more raves? (ipad)

  • ninjaninja

    happy new year (ipad)

  • Lola

    No cheap champagne for me in 2011, it was all vodka. Bringing in the new year with a true festive spirit ;)

    I love sparkles though, so I always get excited to dress up every new years eve! (ipad)

  • Jo-Anne

    Happy New Year. lol. My mom and my aunts drink Andre every new years eve. (iPad)

  • Tina

    Happy new year this was a very entertaining post :) (iPad)

  • gpc

    Happy New Year! (iPad)

  • Chells

    Glitter everywhere – Happy New Year! (ipad)

  • susan

    You left out Champale!! ‘The local liquor store had a whole pile of it….and people were buying it.
    Happy New Year. Lets hope it’s a great one for all those who read this blog!

  • Stacey Schofield

    Happy New Year! (ipad)

  • Paul Green

    great read and happy new year…..wait for it….wait for it……(ipad)

  • Kathy

    Happy New Year (ipad)

  • elizabeth

    Happy New Year! (ipad)

  • Michelle

    happy new year!

    FIRST CONTEST(be one of my 7 new year inspiration models!)
    go to http://pinklemonincrystal.blogspot.com
    for precise info.

  • ariancita

    Andres champagne is unforgivable any time of year. It’s like Carlo Rossi wine.. “if there’s a cork in it, you paid too much.” (ipad)

  • Ruhee

    Happy New Year (ipad)

  • jc

    definitely pulled out the sequins and sparkles this year too haha (ipad)

  • Letícia

    Hahahahahaha wish there were more days in which we could pull those things off! Happy New Year! (ipad)

  • Joyce

    Happy new year to PB! I started a count of all the women wearing glitter and sparkles on NYE … and stopped after 50 because it was getting ridiculous (ipad)

  • aisha

    happy new year ! (ipad)

  • Maggie

    Happy New Year! (ipad)

  • Cindy

    Woo hoo! Happy 2011! (ipad)

  • Tina

    loved this post! (iPad)

  • Alicia

    I love Prince any time of the year! (iPad)

  • Alicia

    And don’t forget kissing random people at midnight – although I suppose there are plenty of people who do that year-round ;) (iPad)

  • Alicia

    Happy new year to everyone – hope that 2011 is a great one! (iPad)

  • Bee

    Happy New Year! Great list…(iPad)

  • Naggy

    What a great photo, and I wish I had been there. (ipad)

  • Kelly

    happpy new year (ipad)

  • felicia

    happy new year everyone!! (ipad)

  • Christine

    glitter eyeliner!! (ipad)

  • Jennifer

    Hope everyone has a safe & wonderful 2011! (ipad)

  • Mary

    I can’t believe I missed this !!!! I love this list (iPad)

  • Kate

    Fantastic post!! I definitely did all of these things except for standing in Times Square!! (iPad)

  • JJ

    Maybe its because I’m not much of a drinker and the only time I ever really have a sip is on New Year’s Eve, but I happen to like Andre!! And yea, I know it’s crazy, but I’d like to spend at least ONE NYE in the middle of Time Square (altho I’d probably be asking myself “WHY?” the entire time I’m standing there, freezing my butt off!) (ipad)

  • XXAL

    yes raves still exist in our world. & they’re bomb! heh (ipad)

  • Miriam

    Happy New Year to all! (ipad)

  • LDJ

    Happy New Year Amanda…keep the post about the RH’s coming, i don’t mind them and the purses as always!!!!!

  • tony

    happy 2011 (ipad)

  • tony

    too crowded at time sq (ipad)

  • Joanna

    Def agree w/ the head to toe sparkle! (iPad)

  • Britney Anderson

    Waiting to kiss when the clock hits a certain time. (ipad)

  • Tiffany

    Love this post! (ipad)

  • raffa

    I had none of them :-( (ipad)

  • nadia maria

    sooooo sweet i love it must see how beauty full collection leather bags

  • heidi

    head-to-toe sparkles is typically not appropriate? what? (ipad)

  • Ken Vien

    happpy new year (ipad)

  • FashionIsMyHobby

    A new ipad would make a super duper New Year! (ipad)

  • Dilettante

    I would add, screaming in a gauche fashion and raising your champagne glass at the fireworks (ipad)

  • ninjaninja

    Five days into the year, and I’ve already forgotten about my resolution! (ipad)

  • ninjaninja

    I love Prince! (ipad)

  • Tracey G

    hope you have a great 2011! (ipad)

  • Annie

    we have no tradition of kissing people at midnight in my area. If I ever go to NYC over NYE, the last thing I’d be doing is waiting at Times Square (did you know some ppl wear adult diapers?). But I can understand wanting to do it one time in your life. happy 2011! (ipad)

  • Lynda

    lmao very true!! (ipad)

  • Alison J.

    I did NYE in Times Square once and it was a lot of fun! Once is enough though. (ipad)

  • helen

    Sparkles and glitter galore! Happy New Year! (ipad)

  • Emma G

    HAPPY NEW YEAR (ipad)

  • RiJ

    Great Post. Happy New Year Everyone

    DesignerHandBagNews

  • beanyce126

    this new years spent it sleeping at home. (ipad)

  • Deborah Curran

    I hope you had a wonderful New Years Eve – ipad