I’ve been trying all week to think of something appropriate to say about the Lanvin Amalia Patchwork Snakeskin Tote and I just…can’t. I can’t! It’s Friday and I’m out of words, and this bag might be so complicated that it has now damaged my eyesight, which makes any attempts on my part to accurately review it utterly futile. So! That’s where you guys come in.

In today’s rousing game of Fill in the Blank, I want you to describe this tote to me. Y’all know how this works – either finish the title sentence in the comments or take a gander at this bag over at Nordstrom, where it’s priced at $3498.

Lanvin isn’t a company that messes with its stable of handbags often. Sure, seasonal styles come and go, but rarely does the French house launch a new design that will be added to the small group of bags that it produces season after season. Staring with Summer 2011, the Lanvin JL Bowling Bag will be the newest piece on that very short list.

The bag, named for Jeanne Lanvin, comes in several sizes and a variety of leathers and colors right off the bat. The photo above and those after the jump all feature the medium size, but Lanvin indicates that a smaller version, shoulder bag and clutch will also be available. The smaller bowler in black or chestnut leather is already available via Bergdorf Goodman for $2545, and the medium python iteration can be found at Luisa Via Roma for $5950. The rest of the prices for the range have yet to be announced. Check out some more pictures after the jump and let us know how you feel about these new bags in the comments!

In general, a good rule of them is that two is a coincidence, three’s a trend. If that’s the case, then I’m ready to call shell bags a full-on fad; not only did Versace and Chanel both show shell purses during their respective Spring 2012 runway shows, but now Lanvin has dropped the Lanvin Minaudiere Satin Shell Clutch. That’s three, y’all. Can you hear the Trend Siren going off?

Of the options, this Lanvin piece is by far my favorite. While Versace and Chanel both went for a completely literal take with pastels and pearls, Lanvin chose to make things a bit more interesting with a surprising color layered over a literal shape. That combination makes this clutch far more versatile, and in fact, it could be argued that you can actually use it year-round because of the emerald satin. That’s obviously not the case with either of the alternatives, although I’m sure that places like ASOS and TopShop will have fun creating many a variation on this theme in the months to come. Buy through Net-a-Porter for $1490.

And just as the saying goes, “diamonds are a girls best friend”, I was completely enamored with all of the bling. So I have been in a diamond state of mind for over a week and recently the Lanvin Diamond-Print Canvas Tote popped up on Net-A-Porter.

So this bag doesn’t truly sparkle, in fact all of the diamonds are merely printed on the canvas body. But I like the idea of this bag. I hate the price ($850 for canvas), but the thought of this bag is fun. The design could easily be seen as obnoxious, but again I feel like the diamonds being printed on canvas keeps this looking much more subdued and flat.

There is no great use for this bag, other than a fun everyday tote. The serious problem is the price, that I refuse to pay for a tote like this. If only it were $150, I would totally consider it for a fun option in my rotation. Buy via Net-A-Porter for $850.

For me, the most interesting element of tiny, structured bags like the Lanvin Madame Lanvin Shoulder Bag and Lanvin Runway Tortoise Shoulder Bag is the discipline required to carry one. Long have most of us been accustomed to dumping everything we might need into our handbags and lugging that stuff with us all day; the big-bag trends of the last five years gave us that luxury.

Now that things have swung back in the complete opposite direction, you’re required to carefully plan and pack your possessions in order to successfully carry one of these bags. Having shlepped bags both big and small, I can resolutely say that I’d rather carry a little bag with only a couple of things any day.

I used to be of the school of thought that I’d never fit my worldly possessions into something smaller than a Balenciaga Day Bag. Never! But then I realized that when I change my bags, the only things I actually end up moving around are my keys, card case, billfold, cell phone and sunglasses. That’s it. The rest of the junk that accumulates in a bag I’ve been wearing for a few weeks is just that – junk. It unnecessary, and it only accumulates because the giant bags I carried had space to accomodate it.

I realized all of this when I purchased the Alexander Wang Isis Clutch, which is, by my own admission, one of the least functional bags on the face of the planet. It’s difficult to get into, the structure makes it hard to carry anything more than an inch thick, I have to position my cell phone just so inside the interior pocket or the bag won’t fold over and shut. BUT IT’S SO PRETTY, YOU GUYS. So pretty, and I got it for something like 65% off, and I’ve never once regretted it.

Just like with these lovely Lanvin pieces, it requires a moment of thought before I start packing it, and for most of us, that might not be a bad moment to be forced to take. Unless you have very small children, you could probably do without most of what weighs you down on a daily basis, if you were honest with yourself and took the time to plan. Trust me, it’s freeing not to have to stuff a beautiful bag full of things you don’t actually need. In accessories, as in other areas of life, practice self-awareness. Buy through Neiman Marcus for $2485 or $3850.

When a bag is as popular as the Celine Luggage Tote, it’s only logical that other brands will try to stand in the reflected glow of the design’s success by debuting bags that share certain characteristics with the one that everyone wants. This practice is as old as time, and it’s how trends in size, shape and color start. As long as the reinterpretation is reasonably original, it generally doesn’t bother me as a consumer.

Even with that in mind, though, I was surprised to see the Lanvin Gypsie Straw and Snakeskin Tote in the Resort 2012 pre-orders at Bergdorf Goodman. Lanvin tends to be a brand that shirks most trends in favor of its own brand of Parisian chic, so even though I don’t have a philosophical problem with the existence of this bag, I didn’t think I’d ever see it.

By now, the identifying details of the Luggage Tote are familiar – the gaping gussets, the north-south shape, the twin top handles, the front pocket. This bag is a more stripped-down and casual version of the Celine aesthetic, and as far as I know, the Luggage Tote has never been done in woven straw. There’s no curvy piped trim, of course, and the structure of the zipper pocket and gussets is different than on the Celine bag. It feels like this bag is different enough to exist, for sure, but not different enough for me to consider buying it. Buy through Bergdorf Goodman for $2190.

Yes! Finally! Thank you, Lanvin. This has been a down season for handbags thus far, at least on the runway. With almost every show that I expect to wow me, I come away a tad disappointed, and I was fearful that the same would happen with Lanvin Spring 2012. Alber Elbaz didn’t let me down, though; he never does. By now, that should be self-evident.

Perhaps the most exciting thing about Lanvin’s bags is that they seem designed to carry things. Yes, that’s right, a designer has deigned to recognize that even our clutches have to be big enough to hold the essentials. The entire collection was clearly designed for a woman who has functional needs from her wardrobe, and the bags reflected that perhaps more than anything else. The fabrication, of course, was immaculate – the leather, sturdy but not inflexible, and the edges as crisp as anything I’ve seen this season.

Friday, you are here!! That means fist pumps and party time, or in my case shopping, movies, and long walks. Either way, TGIF to all PurseBlog readers. I wanted to end this week on a light note, with the clever yet hilarious Lanvin Fall-Winter 2012 Ad Campaign video.

We’ve got Pitbull music in the background and beautiful models adorned in Lanvin attempting to dance. I think this video reminds me why most models bodies are better for runway walks and still photos versus awkward dance moves. We’ve got a dash of uncoordinated movements paired with flimsy head rolls and lots of arm swinging. All-in-all, this video is sure to brighten your day, and make you get up out of your seat and dance. Because, after all, you won’t look much weirder than the ladies and gents in this video.

And don’t miss Alber Elbaz dancing his way through two male models to end the video. Now go have an amazing weekend, dance like no one is watching, and we will be back Monday!

Yesterday, I got to talking about my love for Lanvin in general and Alber Elbaz in particular over at TalkShoes, and now I’m prepared to do to do the same here. Bags like the Lanvin Lizard Box Clutch just inspire that in me. I could look at this little bag all day, mostly because it shirks the traditional conventions of evening bags in order to pursue a look that’s a bit more unexpected; you won’t find any gleaming hardware or intricate beading here.

If I saw this clutch in someone’s hands and didn’t know any better, I’d assume it was the vintage find of a lifetime. The dusty teal lizard accented with tortoise shell gussets and weathered brass hardware looks like nothing else on the market right now, and the combination is beautiful in a subtle, restrained, well-edited way that’s genuinely hard to come by.

Naturally, the color palette gives this piece a retro feel, but that’s part of its success. Almost all clutches go for shine, whether it be through polished hardware, beading and rhinestones or fabric that has an inherent sheen to it. This clutch goes in the exact opposite direction and feels completely fresh as a result. Buy through Matches for $2127.

I don’t have any particular gripe with the look of fur, although I prefer to keep my own fur purchases faux or vintage. In fact, I’m very much looking forward to scouring vintage stores for a fur coat of my own for winter. But I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: The innate texture of fur and innate structure of handbags do not go together. At all. Like the Lanvin Fur Trousse Shoulder Bag that you see at right, when the two combine, all that results is a big lump.

I’ve held off writing on this bag for a few days in hopes that it would eventually start to tickle my fancy, but it just isn’t cutting the proverbial mustard. (Who came up with that saying, anyway? Has anyone, in this history of humanity, actually cut mustard? It’s a liquid.) Instead of being on of the smart and epically chic bags that we all expect from Lanvin, this bag is rather shapeless and nondescript. That’s the problem with fur – for a large-form piece like a coat, the density and texture work. For something compact and structured, they still don’t, no matter how much the fashion industry would like to convince me otherwise. I’d appreciate it if they could stop trying to make fur bags happen. Buy through Neiman Marcus for $2900.