Today, I’d like to switch bases a bit to talk to you about the greatest scourge threatening America today: Zombies. Thought The Walking Dead was just a fictional TV show, did you? I’m here to tell you that it’s not, and also that there are parts of downtown Atlanta that probably didn’t need much window-dressing to look post-apocalyptic in order to shoot the series. When you combine that with the Miami face-eater and all the barking mad wannabe-cannibals who have hit the news after him, I ask you: is this really “bath salts,” as the mainstream media would want you to believe? What does that even mean? Does that sound fake to anyone else?

You know what’s, like, at least a zillion times more likely? Zombies. We already covered that up top, pay attention! In the event of zombie apocalypse, there will be no time to reread! Anyway, it’s time to start prepping for the inevitable, but you’re not crazy like one of those people out in the woods who has managed to hoard 800 pounds of canned peas in their safe rooms (and the gross generic peas, not even Le Sueur). No, you’re a totally sane person who’s just trying to make sure that she knows where to stab a zombie (in his eye, you have to destroy the brain, duh) in case, you know, it ever comes to that. As always, though, we have some suggestions for things you should buy to prepare yourself, all of which are chic enough to use in your everyday life until the zombies start arriving in earnest. You wouldn’t want your friends and neighbors to suspect you’re prepared; after all, those ingrates will just try to steal your stuff and leave you for dead when it’s go time.

Obviously, the first thing you should think about is a bag. Not only is it our primary focus in these parts, but it’s necessary in order to keep all of your gear with you. This is a rare situation in which we’ll advise against leather – it’s heavy, it doesn’t do well in the elements, it’s not as versatile as nylon. Something like the Marc by Marc Jacobs Pretty Nylon Knapsack won’t necessarily give you water resistance, but it’ll do in a pinch. And don’t worry about the color – zombies are attracted by the smell of your sweet, sweet brains, not by sight. $198 via ShopBop.

Continue to gallery
  • Sebastien

    This is such a fun post and the pieces you chose are awesome. I love that the blog creates pieces like these and doesn’t kept a  pinched and humorless facade as other blogs do. 

    • http://www.purseblog.com/ Amanda Mull

      Thanks! We try to have a healthy sense of humor about ourselves :-)

  • Gugga
  • Laurakasbaum

    Amanda, this post is why I think we would be great friends. Practical gear with a fashion-y edge. Love it. If you’re ever in Milwaukee, look me up! lol.

    • http://www.purseblog.com/ Amanda Mull

      I will do that!

  • Vlasta Sem

    I seriously hate this front page picture. It will cause nightmare to me today. Yes, I know that serial…

  • Fatsimaxx

    omg that front page picture scared the sleepiness out of me lol

    • http://www.purseblog.com/ Amanda Mull

      The picture I made for this post was far more tame – blame Vladi!

    • Alexandra Davidoff

      Why? It’s just as scary as your average piece of haute couture! lol

  • Blue Yellow

    Amanda, I am in tears. Seriously, as an English buff –turned French major– I appreciate the well-written, intelligent commentary on both the American complex and the fashion industry. A flawless integration that has not been thought of before. Most of all, your voice shines through clearly. That is what separates this article from the regular daily posts. Brava, Mlle!

    However, I must point out one correction. The French have an impeccable war record. They have been involved in 168 wars. I will let the wise words of Cracked fill you in on their accomplishments: [The French have] won 109, lost 49 and drawn (or as close as you can “draw” a war) 10 times. Professional boxers have been crowned world champions on sh***ier records than that.”

    And I will end on my own note, “That Marc by Marc Jacbos “pretty” nylon bag won’t look so pretty dripping with Zombie blooooooooooooood!

    • http://www.purseblog.com/ Amanda Mull

      I’m glad you liked the post! I just couldn’t resist a little dig at the French stereotype, even if it’s not true.

  • http://profiles.google.com/j.allen27 Jennifer Allen

    Just a head’s up, I own the Marc by Marc Jacobs backpack (in a different print), and it is not made to carry anything at all, before the stitching of the straps gives. I wanted it for school, but it couldn’t handle my PowerBook. I love MbMJ, but I was not happy with this purchase – my seamstress fixed it cosmetically, but I can only use it for very light items.

  • dpat13

    Purple leatherman tool just added to my wish list. I have found myself without a bottle opener or cork screw at the office twice this month and this shall be a fine replacement of the staple puller I’ve been using.

    • http://www.purseblog.com/ Amanda Mull

      If you’ve figured out how to open a bottle of wine with a staple puller, something tells me you’ll be resourceful enough to survive the zombie apocalypse just fine.

  • Stephanie Barber

    i def need a lighter and a backpack funny

Follow Closely