St Tropez Essentials Sequin Tote

Spring 2005 Fug is in full bloom. Oh yes, we’ve all been waiting patiently. St Tropez Essentials has decided to grace us with extreme fug and totally un-cool and un-funny and un-anything semi trendy phrases. Saint-Tropez is a breathtakinly beautiful place in southern France (one of my favorite beaches), not to mention a favorite vacation spot for celebs and this brand is doing the town absolutely no justice. These bags emanate a nauseous feeling of stomach churningly fugliness. I don’t find a single thing about this brand or these bags essential, not a thing.

Here’s the low down on the fug. These are PVC totes that have sayings written big and fugfully on the side such as Happy, Stuff, Lucky, Sexy, Rich, Bitchy, Shopping, and Love. A person who buys the bag that says Happy is an oxymoron because not a soul could be happy with a bag like that under their arm, a person who buys the bag that says Stuff is just plain stupid and doesn’t understand that the bag doesn’t make sense, a person who buys the bag that says Lucky is just plain lying to themselves and will never get lucky, a person who buys the bag who says Sexy must not have been to the eye doctor lately, a person who buys the bag that says Rich is living in a dream world and people will point and laugh, a person who buys the bag that says Bitchy is actually being just that for spending money on such fug, a person who buys the bag that says Shopping better not ever take that public, and for the person who actually buys the bag that says Love, please realize that not a soul on earth will love the bag or you while you carry it. To top it all off, the site actually has a footnote : “Happy is backordered and will be delivered March 30“. Oh lord, that alone lets me know some fashion victims out there are actually buying this handfug and that makes me oh so un-happy.

The fugness can be purchased for a ridiculous $68 at Shop Kitson – make sure you get the “Rich” version, when you’re high rollin’ like that.