4. Fendi Transparent Zucca Tote with Pouch.

Looking just like the mesh mask layer that protects beehive workers, this tote bag is made with nylon and trimmed with Zucca canvas. You know what I would do with this tote; I’d sew right into the bag with yarn like I did as a child. That is precisely what Fendi is asking for with this ‘semi-sheer’ bag.

3. Fendi Crossword Patent Clutch.

Look at me, look at me, I’m a Fendi clutch. For some reason even though handbag designer recognition is high, handbag designers think we all need their name all over our bags. Why? I could care less for the world to see the name Fendi randomly placed all over my clutch. I do love the patent leather, the polished silvertone metal handles (with their slight F design), but the silver mirror like coated letters plain old suck.

2. Fendi Crossword Grande Net Bag.

Boring. We have all seen seatbelt bags, or the like, but to see a design house like Fendi use large net panels to weave like a basket is overly dull. For a price like this, I guarantee you could find about one bajillion better bags (ok, taken from Austin Powers, but still just about true).

1. Fendi Gologo Large Transparent Bag.

Three R’s come to mind; repugnant, repulsive, revolting. This bag looks as if it were made with a cheap shower curtain that you would find at in an in-state college dorm shower. To make it stand out even worse, there is a sort of diamond pattern, tacky leather trim, and fug Zucca print bands with beaded embroidery.

Too much, too fast is the theme of our ski vacation. If you could all see me now. Picture this: A fashionable gal wearing my boyfriends shirt because it is all that will fit overly my arm somewhat comfortably with my right arm (my writing arm of course) snuggled close to my body in a sling and wrist brace waiting to be checked by my ortho.

This is precisely what happens when a designer has absolutely no idea what to do next. Salvatore Ferragamo, I love your shoes, have had crushes on a few of your bags, but this bag is down right nasty looking. There must be some sort of protocol or list that had to be met for the season; as in there must be 15 new bags produced.

Sometimes you have to wonder. What in the name of the good Lord was Eve thinking? First of all, she took her cues from a serpent. They slither and hiss and are NOT to be trusted! But seriously, was one little piece of fruit from an entire garden of lush melons and berries really worth risking the ire of God? And how about Snow White?

Perforated handbags made a big hit with the Louis Vuitton Perforated Handbag Line and now the genius and sometimes off-his-rocker designer, Jean Paul Gaultier, is introducing a line of perforated handbags for Spring/Summer 2007. With a touch of poker, the Jean Paul Gaultier Perforated Handbags will not hide any unmentionables and looks oddly done, bordering on the line of cheaply done, from afar.

Off the wall is part of Alexander McQueen’s middle name. This can also lead to extreme and complete odd ball handbag creations. I may have it out for shearling handbags, but come on, the Alexander McQueen Shearling East West Handbag has an angel staring at me. I am not sure the purpose of the angel; I was nice this year and Santa said so, I think I have a guardian angel or two, and really, what is going on?

Fendi has undoubtedly made some bags that are extreme hits, and undoubtedly made some bags that show lack of ingenuity or design. I must admit on a pair of heels, placing a buckle is cute and looks great under jeans. But the Fendi Pebbled Leather Hobo Handbag is a major miss and shows a design fart from the House of Fendi.