Fugly

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Be & D Benatar Tube Handbag

Some people wonder if simple can be ugly; and the answer is yes. Can you really do a little black dress or a little black handbag wrong? Again, the answer is yes. I am going out on a limb to say it is actually harder to make something as simple as a plain black bag go horribly awry, but many designers have done it time and time again. I am sluggishly nodding my head in disappointment at the Be & D Benatar Tube Handbag because of its downright tawdry design. Be & D made a huge splash with their large shoulder bags and then delved into exotic skins, but have gone back a few steps with this seemingly cheap looking leather tube-shaped bag. This bag looks more fit to be a dachshund dog carrier than anything else in my opinion (and don’t get me wrong, I love wiener dogs! ;-)) Double zip pockets on either end of the bag make the odd shape on this small bag only that much more noticeable. At least the woven shoulder strap could stand alone and be decent, yet paired together with this small simple mess it just does not sit right with me. For my holiday evening bag, I will be venturing somewhere other than towards this bag at Net-A-Porter for $890.

Nancy Gonzalez Silver Ring Lizard Clutch If this bag were at the $1 store, I would not buy it. Yet this bag is at Saks and costs $1 times 1,350. GASP you say, and I agree. Nancy Gonzalez handbags are known for their exotic skins and typically she puts out some great items. Sometimes designs crash and burn and the Nancy Gonzalez Silver Ring Lizard Clutch is on its downward spiral. Silver lizard skin provides the base for leaf imprint detail on this fug bag. Honestly, at least opt for flower detail. No one wants to look at a aimless wandering leaf pattern on silver lizard skin. Nancy, stick with exotics but please, please, please do not drag yourself down with tacky colors and odd imprints. Pre-order via Saks for $1350.

UGG Australia Patchwork Classic Boots

Hi, my name is Megs and I own a (few) pair of UGGS. I do it because they are warm and I have NEVER paired them with a skirt in the summer…. yet I am still embarrassed of them at times.

I felt like I needed to stick up for myself because I know what a fashion don’t UGGS can be. And this pair, makes me gag in my mouth a little bit. The UGG Australia Patchwork Classic Boots are sure to keep me from talking to you even if you are McDreamy. These round-toe multi color suede boots will surely cause the crowd to cringe and your fashionable friends to disown you. Please, no. Via Saks for $140.

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Fendi Mini B Bag

My lovely organic lunch just nearly came out of my mouth. Karl Lagerfeld made a blunder when he designed the all metallic gold or silver Fendi Metallic Mini B Bag from the Cruise Collection. This bag is so deliriously hideous that I am positive the brain fart Mr. Lagerfeld had while designing this was ginormous. This fug bag features floral embroidered buckles and velvet piping along with either awful gold or silver luminous snake embossed metallic leather. The chain link handles are removable. All 51⁄2″H X 8″L X 11⁄4″W inches of this bag makes me gag. I can’t decide which is worst- the silver or gold. Gag me for $1390 via Saks.

Day Birger et Mikkelsen Embellished Shoulder BagWhile some say different strokes for different folks, with this bag I could not agree at all. Yes my opinion is merely my opinion, but this bag is beyond hideous to me. The Day Birger et Mikkelsen Embellished Shoulder Bag just hurts my eyes to look at. While the sequin embellishment is alright, the color scheme makes me dizzy enough to fall over. The tassel and bead detailing which hang from the bottom are so up and over any kind of tasteful tassels. What I can say is that this bag will never hang from my arm. What about you? Via Net-A-Porter for $184.66.

Binetti Crochet Bag

Say hello to MacGyver’s bag he wishes he always had. I can guarantee MacGyver could use this bag to make a trap, fix a bridge, make an airplane, and a tight rope that would take from the USA to Europe. The Binetti Crochet Bag is a brown woven crochet bag with loads of fringe at the base (for all of MacGyver’s goodies). There are shoulder straps with hanging charms, two inside pockets (like MacGyver would need those) and the bag measures 13″H x 19″W x 8 1/2″D. Dear Mr. MacGyver this bag can be yours for $450 via Neiman Marcus.

Kooba Large Carla Bag with BraidWhile braids are such a trademark of young girls, I never quite liked them. One reason may be because I hated letting my mom do my hair and I couldn’t figure it out myself or even just that I was not good at making braids. As much as I am not a fan of hair braids for myself, I am not a fan of huge braids on a bag. The Kooba Large Carla Bag with Braid is a chestnut polished leather that is cinched at the top with a huge braided leather belt. No thanks. While the bag is described as bohemian chic, I really just see a big awkward and stiff braid. Maybe the antiqued brass hardware accents the bag nicely; then again maybe the hardware is not enough. The shoulder strap is also braided, but it is the braid that brings the top of the bag together that I can not get over. It is so overpowering, especially since it ties in the front and finishes with tassels that are way too long. This bag measures 13″ x 12″ x 6.5″ and maybe one of you likes it, who knows! Buy it via eLuxury for $650.

Salvatore Ferragamo Fur Trim Haircalf Bag

So far I think animal print day has gone well. But there is always the bad. Let me introduce you to the ugly duckling cousin of the Zebra. The Salvatore Ferragamo Fur Trim Haircalf Bag is way too much for my liking. This bag is designed from Zebra-print haircalf along with rabbit fur patch pockets. I bet the rabbit fur will automatically turn some of you away from the bag, that is, if you haven’t already decided this bag is a no go thanks to its first impression. The bag has a zip top closure and double shoulder straps. On the inside you won’t find more fur, thank god, but you will find zipper and open pockets along with cotton canvas lining in soft pink. I even think the ‘soft’ pink would still be too much to handle with the busy outside. This bag sizes up at 8″H X 16 ½”L X 6″W and costs an over priced $1650 via Saks. I guess each animal has its own odd man out.

Jana Feifer Leather Personalized Monogram Hobo

Your name distinguishes you from everyone else around you. This doesn’t mean that someone else does not have your exact name, because I am pretty sure most of us have duplicate named people out there- but it still makes you unique. While I am trying to not bash individuality, I just can’t ever imagine myself carrying a bag with “M”‘s all over it. It would just seem silly to me. So, I am sorry Miss Feifer, but I don’t think these ‘personalized’ bags were a good idea (this may possibly be why they are marked down 80% now!). The Jana Feifer Leather Personalized “Monogram” Hobo is derived from lambskin leather with initials coming in the color combination of white with pink, yellow and orange initials; or chocolate with camel initials. I realize that Jana Feifer specializes in personalized bags, but I actually don’t ever see myself wanting one. I am totally not into just sporting my initial just because it starts off my beautiful name. Finished off with camel suede interior with large zipper compartment and goldtone hardware, this hobo is sooo not for me. Buy your letter for $77.99 via Adasa.

Dior Pony Leopard Saddle Pouch

I know that animal prints can sometimes be in style and by cute, but also can be seriously over the top. How about NO, Dior!!! What the heck is going on with this bag?! The Dior Saddle bags have come out in a plethora of styles and varieties, but some are just major no-no’s. This is definitely one of them. Feast your eyes on the Dior Pony Leopard Saddle Pouch. It reminds me of Halloween, meets drag queen, meets Mardi-Gras, meets stripper, meets ALL WRONG. Somehow, the bag is said to “exudes contemporary glamour”. I may not have been crowned Miss Glamorous 2006, but I do know that this bag is not glamour. Made from leopard-printed calf hair and finished with red calfskin and golden metal hardware, I see this bag being carried by un-stylish wanna be stylish Tarzan’s Jane. Um yes, that sentence was confusing English, but I know you followed. This mess of a bag is being sold by eLuxury for $490. Get it while it is hot and before it is sold out! I’m sure Lady Jane (above) wouldn’t mind sharing her style tips with you…

Yes, today’s posts are coming at you a bit late (what can I say, I had a late night), but never fear- the posts are here! Why not designate this Friday strictly to Fug Bags? That’s right- Fugly Friday. Sounds like fun for me at least :-). Let’s get started…

Isabella Fiore Flower Child April Handheld BagNot that I believe I am the all-knowing, but there is a thing or two that I do know. And one of those things is that this bag is completely hideous. Miss Fiore, what are you on?? The Isabella Fiore “Flower Child” April Handheld Bag makes me a bit queasy. I can’t really even be kind to this colorful mess of flowers spewed onto a bag. So the ‘lucky’ wearer of this bag will be sporting leathers in hues of brown, tan, yellow, blue, green, lilac and cream. It only gets better when you hear that all of these colors are joined together with chain pieces. And if all of that is not enough, there are folkloric painted flowers that will only aid in overwhelming you about 50 times more than before. Adasa says that “you will for sure set off a chain reaction when you strut your stuff wearing one of these beauties”. My guess would be that this chain reaction will mimic falling dominos, as in you will make people drop at the ghastly sight of this flower powered thing. The bags dimensions are as follows; Height at Center is 11″; Length 2″ up front base is 16.5″; Width at center base is 1.5″. Jump on the pre-order list if you are looking for that ‘chain reaction’ through Adasa for $650.

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