Zac Posen Bo Small Shoulder Bag
Zac Posen Bo Small Shoulder Bag

Love his clothing, love many of his bags, but Zac Posen has totally fallen off the wagon with this one. It is an awkward handbag, this Zac Posen Bo Small Shoulder Bag. The Bo part might as well be the name of the cat that it is designed after, because right when I looked at this fug bag I saw an animal’s face. There are whiskers, eyes, a nose, just add the mouth and ears and you are set. Everything about it is off, and the dimensions are huge; 17.5″ (at base)x 9″x 2.5″! That means this will eat up your body and you either get it in the honey/yellow, a-la-Garfield, or the slate/multi. Sometimes is just all wrong. The bag looks off on so many levels. Sure, the materials are great and Zac Posen is an amazing designer, but I am hoping he signed off on this without looking at it, because it is so totally fug to me! Through eLuxury for $1,195.

Miu Miu Small Shoulder Bag Do you ever look at individual pieces of a whole, love them, but hate the whole? It happens to me all the time. How many meals have you eaten where the ingredients sound amazing but when you mush them all together you automatically raise your napkin to your mouth and attempt to do the very obvious unflattering ‘polite spit’? At least when it happens with a handbag you know what you are getting into, unlike the random meal you ate. The aspects of the Miu Miu Small Shoulder Bag are appealing individually, but put them all together and you have a tacky fug bag. First there is stunning luscious turquoise leather. The color just pops and is perfect for spring and summer. The slouch of the leather shows the buttery soft quality which makes me want to smoosh it up to my face and fall asleep on it. The gold hardware really pops. The handle features clasps on either side which give a nice addition. But then there is the finished product, which looks fit for a 12 year old. Not that there is something wrong with a 12 year old, but there is something so tacky and juvenile about this bag. Sure, it is said to be a small shoulder bag, but it is too small for my liking. It looks ridiculous on the model, which means it will look atrocious on a ‘real size’ person. The depth is a mere 2″, while the width is 11″ and height is 10″; which looks squished, flat, and weird. Granted, I am 5’10 so I see things differently, but if you are over 5’3, putting a shoulder bag on this small won’t look good. Then there is the gold hardware on the turquoise leather; it screams out gaudy. Something about turquoise and gold do not mesh, they are both overpowering and they are fighting for the spotlight on this bag. End result is an in-your-face combination. I love the color, love the leather, love the idea, but am not feeling the finished product at all. Buy through Net A Porter for $760. (more…)

Chloe Beata Patent Shoulder Bag

This handbag is so manly it is making my estrogen run and hide. Seriously, I understand that Chloe wants to sport the chunky hardware and thick leather look, but everything about this handbag screams out brute-force-man. Feast your eyes on the testosterone filled Chloe Beata Patent Shoulder Bag, which looks as if it belongs in a male society before it belongs on the arm of a fashionable woman. The leather is thick, hideous, and a horrid shade of mahogany (which needs to stick to furniture rather than coloring of a handbag). And even worse, the leather is patent, giving off a gleam that will attract any passerby attention and also force them to stare at this bag. The inside out straps only further go to show that this bag is a disaster. I am just so turned off by this bag. After looking at it, I feel as if I need to go into my bathroom and put on layers of pretty pink nail polish and lip stick. And for the price, there are tons of spa treatments I would prefer to keep me looking young and beautiful. Via NAP for $1740.

Marc Jacobs Monica Mink Python Clutch

There are those fools in life that are certain buying an expensive good means it is fashionable. Let me tell you (although as loyal Purse Blog readers you already know!) that is not true! Take this extremely fug bag for example; the Marc Jacobs Monica Mink Python Clutch attempts to combine exotic materials, mink and python, to make stylish handbag. But look for yourself, it is evident that this handbag is far from fabulous, it looks like a mess of a bag. Sure, mink feels like heaven, but in this handbag it looks like hell. The buckle detail adds a knap-sack feel, which is not the hi-ho silver look I am going for when dishing out $3k on ‘luxury’. And this clutch is large, measuring 13″W X 8½”H X 2″D, which means everyone will be able to see it and question your fashion sense. Totally a waste of $2950 at Saks.

Lara Bohinc Rosetina Bag The Chloe Heloise posted earlier proved that subtle hues of metallic are a stunning way to add shine. But some designers create bags that show us what not to do. If your eyes do not hurt yet, they will begin to slowly hurt as you continue to look at the extremely cheap looking Lara Bohinc Rosetina Bag. The degree of hideous gold is not even explainable in words. Gold foiled leather is thrown together with the most tacky ornate chain link handle. Everything on every part of this bag is gold, and not one part of it is tolerable. Take this in the sun and cause a car accident from the glare. Take this in your house and get a tan. To make it even more childish and juvenile there is perforated leather on the main section of the bag. Not always a huge fan of perforated leather, but to see it on a gaudy gold bag makes my eyes hurt. Honestly, the fugliness of this handbag is unfathomable. It is really just that ugly. It does not even make a good conversation piece. Nor does it work as the bag for the gal who is coined the “one who marches to her own drummer”. There needs to be no drummer, no drum, just no bag.

Fugly at NAP for $965.

Fendi B Mix Baulotto Handbag Oh Fendi, why do you do some of the things you do? Do you not realize that your bags are becoming overly laughable. So what, you went out on a limb. Your limb is hanging over a river infested with piranhas and your branch just broke. There you are, getting eaten alive by the man-eating-fish. Time to sit out. Take a season off. Regroup. Then come back and give us something better. There was no need to also release the Fendi B Mix Baulotto Handbag with the faux-camo and Zucca print. Big F’s take over the camo while small F’s appear in the background. Take about Zucca overload. Even the handle is slathered with F’s. Ok, we get it, this is a Fendi bag. But to me it is nothing more than a fug bag. This is not even fugtastic, merely fug. You have a group of followers that believe in you, so now make something to believe in. We don’t need this overly logoized bag that does nothing but make our eyes burn. If you need to get back to basics, do it. But help yourself! Via eLuxury for $1220.

Christian Louboutin Fug Bags

If you had a reputation like that of Christian Louboutin shoes, why on Earth would you delve into a realm that you can not conquer just as well?? Instead of learning the ropes of the handbag world, Christian Louboutin has released some fug bags for fall that look as if they need to be tranquilized and locked up. First we have the hideous Christian Louboutin Orylag Hobo which appears to have saddle bags or really horribly off center breasts covered by orylag fur (rabbit fur) and dominatrix patent leather trim. This bag costs nearly $4000 at Saks, which means it is a frightfully expensive mess. Sure it would make a good pillow, but that is about it. Then we have the Christian Louboutin Alpaca Satchel. Hello bad perm job of 1983. Sure, once you actually touch the alpaca it will feel soft, but looking at this bag is like sitting in a lecture for 3 hours staring at a horrible head of hair in front of you. The kind of horrible where you hear nothing the instructor says and merely wonder if the person happened to get struck by lightning on the way to class. The calfskin trim and chain link handles do not help much. At least this bag is not as much as the first, costing $1695 at Saks.

So a note to those at Christian Louboutin: Stick with the shoes.

gucci indy bag

Dear Gucci,

Do you want people to actually buy your bags? Why is it that every time I go into your store the handbag selection looks like the exact same fug from last season and the season before? It is time to move on, design something new, take a chance. Because, face it, even if you fail miserably, it won’t make much of a difference. Your monogram bags are probably one of the worst logo bags out there. For some reason, they repulse me. And your Indy bags have some potential, as in the shape is ok, but why would you put a design like this on one? Your Gucci Indy Bag above shows off multicolor blue bell embroidery with bamboo tassels and metal plate details. Unfortunately, the bells resemble jellyfish, which I absolutely despise. Jellyfish sting me, and stick on my skin, and turn me red with an itchy painful rash. Is there a reason you have bells that resemble jellyfish? It feels like the scene in Finding Nemo, where Nemo and Dori have to swim through the jellyfish. Do you remember what happened to Dori? The good news is, Dori lived. This bag itself is not absolutely horrible, but I feel like your bags in general have been horrible. I was at Saks the other day and a gold Python Indy was thrown on the sale table next to some Juicy Couture handbags. Talk about slummin’ it. But please do not think you are a lost cause, because you are not. I am still sporting, and LOVING, my Gucci Horsebit Hobo. You did do the Gucci Crystal Evening Bag which is swoon-worthy. It is time for some new handbags. Do something bold, do something new, just do something. Jellyfish-like-bell Indy via Saks for $3890.

Sincerely,

Megs

P.S. The price chart needs to be re-negotiated. Why does this Jellyfish bag cost nearly $4 grand???

fendi fall fug

Appalling, atrocious, disastrous, grisly, haglike, horrid, repelling, repugnant, repulsive, revolting, and unsightly. Am I being too harsh? Take a gander at Fendi’s Fall Fug line. Go ahead, you be the judge.

1. Fendi Forever Sequined Borsa. A lost cause. {$760}
2. Fendi Raddica Boston Bag. No theme necessary. {$1595}
3. Fendi Box Clutch. Confetti meets alphabet soup. {$1490}
4. Fendi Sequined Clutch. Flashy-fug. {$1630}
5. Fendi Shearling Shopping Chef Bag. Use in place of your Swiffer. {$5040}
6. Fendi Woven Zucca Bowler. Fug around the world. {$1470}

Chloe Katie Embroidered Bag

My mom made her clothes growing up, because her mom made her clothes when she was growing up. My mom even made our Halloween costumes for a few years, then realized the beauty of buying store bought costumes and threw away her sewing machine (not literally). I never learned to make clothes. I can’t even hem pants, but it is on my to-learn list. I am pretty certain that my mom could have made most of this handbag. The Chloe Katie Embroidered Bag appears easy to make if you have some wool in various colors and glue and a plain bag. I just do not see the appeal of the gray embroidery placed on top of black leather with a silver chain strap thrown on. Furthermore, I find an odd resemblance to the pattern on this Chloe Bag to the Monogram LV pattern (see below). So my final thought is to gather some materials and ask my ever-handy mother or grandmother to make this handbag for me. Via NAP for $1670.

chloe katie louis vuitton flower
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