Fulgy

Pursebloggers, I am confused by the Barneys New York Chic Chain Bag on a few levels.

First, I’m confused that Barneys really makes house-brand bags. Of course, I knew on a factual level that they did, but really? Do luxury goods customers want house brands? Even if the house is a good house? I can’t imagine anyone looking to spend a large amount of money on a bag would look first to something not even made by a proper design house. As much as I like buying supermarket-brand milk and cheese at the grocery store (it’s the same stuff! Cheaper!), I would never do the same with money that I saved up to by something special and luxurious.

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I drank a freakin’ gallon of sangria yesterday and I’m trying to stop my head from exploding all over my couch, so we’re going to get right to the point on this one: the Donna Karan Drawstring Shoulder Bag? It has a face. A FROG FACE. You see it, right?

The holes at the top corners are the eyes, and the top flap is the same shape as a frog’s upper lip, with one of the bag’s folds forming the lower lip. If it was green, it would be Kermit. And perhaps it would be better if it was, because it’s not doing a very good job of being a handbag. I can’t recall another bag that has left me so utterly confused as to what the designer was trying to accomplish. The body of the bag has a set of drawstrings running down each side and little loops hanging out the bottom, although I can’t see any way to hold the drawstrings in place if you wanted to scrunch up the bag. And why would you? That would just make it awkward to carry and give the inside of the bag lots of folds inside which your stuff could hide, never to be seen again. Plus, it looks like an amphibian. I’ll pass. Buy through Saks for $1595.

Anyone care to take a guess as to why I’m writing about this bag? Anyone? No? Ok. Well, I’m writing about the Versace Turquoise Fox Hexagonal Tote purely for my own entertainment. As of late, more or less everything Versace does makes me want to punch someone in the face (and even if one of their bags isn’t bad, the price is atrocious), so when my mom somehow found this bag and emailed it to me earlier this morning, I couldn’t NOT take the chance to make fun of them. And really, this bag is more deserving of ridicule than any other that I’ve seen lately.

It looks like the Cookie Monster and Snuffleupagus had sex, and the resulting baby was skinned and turned into a handbag (yes, I had to Google to find out how to spell ‘Snuffleupagus’ I thought it had more F’s, personally). That kind of violence against muppets will certainly not be tolerated here at PurseBlog, and the immense cruelty towards children’s entertainment that Versace has shown with this handbag will not soon be forgotten. For shame, Donatella. What are you going to do next, skin the Florida Gator’s mascot and make a clutch out of it? Actually, on second thought, I would be completely ok with that. Just stay away from Big Bird. Buy through Bluefly for $3532.99.

Alright, I’ve done it! I’ve found a bag that not a single one of you will be able to say that Marc Jacobs ripped off from Chanel. Why? Because the Marc Jacobs Amazon Shoulder Bag is far too bizarre to be ripped off from any serious designer. I also think that this will be the first MJ bag in a while without a good bit of “I love it!”/”I hate it!” comment fights - I think you’re all going to hate it (if you don’t, then comment and prove me wrong!). I’m certainly not a fan. It’s just an uninventive small crossbody bag with a layer flap that doesn’t match. Not only does the purse not match itself, but it won’t match anything else in your wardrobe, either. I’m all for doing odd things when they’re done in a way that looks artistic or high-end, and this looks like neither of those things, sadly. It looks more home-sewn and pieced together than anything. Expect it on a sale rack near you very soon. Buy through eLuxury for $2850.

So, the 1980s throwback trend is, like, a thing. I get that. I’m even a moderate supporter of it, when done correctly. The 80s were a time of excess and fashion-forwardness and questionable taste, and everyone loves that, right? Right. Except when it’s done like the Pauric Sweeney Padded Patchwork Top Handle, I don’t love it. At all. Not even a little. It kind of makes my eyes hurt to look at it. This isn’t just a winking reference to 80s ridiculousness - this is taking something that was already fug back then and making it more fug and more expensive 25 years later. And I, for one, am not fooled and not impressed. In order to do “retro” correctly, a designer has to somehow make it sleeker and more modern than it was to begin with, and there’s nothing about this bag that looks updated in the least. It wasn’t cute then, and it’s not cute now, sadly; it’s a retro-gone-wrong monstrosity. Even if this bag was given to me for free, I sincerely doubt I would wear it to anything but a costume party. Buy through LuisaViaRoma for € 810.00.

My endless hours of wedding planning is truly cutting into my day, mostly my night. While the wedding planning is taking the first 8 hours of the day (I know, that seems excessive but this last month before the weeding seems hectic as anything!), my work ends up being rather short, and my relaxing is totally killed. The end-of-the-day hang out period is much needed and now my entire being feels overloaded. Need more rest. Need more decompressing. Need my life back. So now you get my blog entry from my bed. Sitting up? No. Lights on? No. I am literally laying in the same position that I will soon drift off to sleep in, maybe in the next 5 minutes. My laptop will somehow end up flung onto the ground, and it won’t upset me, as it does not directly affect my wedding. I crave more rest. And I am finding a great handbag that can give that, believe it or not. Read full article and see the photo...

I have not actually labeled a handbag a fug bag for a while. So long in fact that you all make wake up to a shock on Purse Blog. It is right, I am starting the week off with a fug bag. But can you really blame me? I mean, come on, I have a bone to pick with this bag. Where do I even begin here? Ok, let me try.

I have given so much love to Jimmy Choo bags and now I have to take it all back, at least take it back for this bag. First of all, plain and simple, what the heck is going on? Who really wants to pay nearly $1,100 for a sack of tacky PVC? I have the unfortunate task of introducing you to the Jimmy Choo Dylan Beach Bag, which is made with clear and neon pink PVC. I get it, we all need beach bags. And right now in Florida it is still in the 70’s, so it is still beach weather friendly. But this look is just all kinds of cheap. Really, there is not much else for me to say.

Do you need a good and sturdy beach bag? Yes. Even a plastic beach bag is a major plus as far as clean up goes. But to spend this exorbitant amount of money for the name is silly. And most importantly the bag does not even look great. I love Jimmy Choo, I love Jimmy Choo bags, but this bag makes no sense to me in so many ways. Over-spend at Net A Porter for $1050.

Don’t even ask, because I have absolutely ZERO idea what is going on with this bag. Is it a joke? It is for real? Is it for the kid at school that likes hunting? Is it actually intended for a grown-up? I have no idea and for the life of me I can not see why Stella McCartney paired with LeSportsac to create this thing. Actually it has indeed been quite a while since I deemed a handbag a fug bag, and now here I am baffled and confused and checking this one right into the fug category. I typically like the simplicity of many LeSportsac bags, but then we have this rendition of a handbag, the Stella McCartney for LeSportsac Deer Rucksack. The only cool thing about the bag is that it is designed with recycled polyester, from there it goes incredibly downhill. The dimensions are not really large enough for the bag to fit comfortably on a grown body, 8″W x 14″H x 1″D, so maybe the argument is that it is intended for a child? And even then, would you want your kid to be *that kid with the deer backpack*? I am all for kids defining their own style, but sometimes, you have to put your foot down. This bag is just all kinds of wrong. What do you think Stella and LeSportsac were thinking? Am I missing something? Buy through Nordstrom for $85. Hey, at least it is cheap (both in price and looks).

Marc Jacobs Bag on Bag

There was an earful of negative comments about the Marc Jacobs Color Block Pouchette bag. While some believed it was merely Marc paying an homage to Hermes and other commented that Hermes was not the first to design the lock, the majority did not care for the bag. I am a fan of Marc Jacobs but that does not mean that many of his bags are not my style. After the pouchette Marc needed to redeem himself. Unbeknown to him the next Marc Jacobs bags I cover are more horrendous than the first. These are not the only two, but there is an entire line of the Marc Jacobs Bag on Bags. These bags are supposed to give an artful feel, with a front pouch attached to the main bag. There is a version at eLuxury that shows off a red grained leather tote with a front pouch attached with sequin detail. Then there is a mesh tote version at eLuxury which sports a pink lace bag on the front. I would have easily been able to love this bag more if the pouch glued on front is removable, therefor making it a two-for-one deal, but the totes merely have a pouch stuck on the front. Why would you even care to use this pouch? Is there even a point really? And if it is just for looks, the look is nothing to my liking. I am a lover of art pieces but this is not even my kind of art. All I want to know is what was Marc Jacobs thinking? The only way I want to see this bag is on its way down the runway for a show, and then put away or on exhibit for good. Buy the red version at eLuxury for $2,650 and the lace and mesh version at Saks for $2,100.

Marc Jacobs Color Block Pouchette

Some say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Though this is true, many times I really beg to differ. It is easy to sit back and say this phrase when referring to someone else, but when your idea, your grueling work, your sleepless nights, are copied it feels 100% horrible. Actually, it feels so bad you could go find that ’stealer’ and knock them over the head with a salami. When a huge name like Marc Jacobs ‘imitates’ from an even bigger name, Hermes, do you think there are similar feelings? Most likely not, seeing as Hermes is one of the most exclusive design houses in the world. Furthermore, imitating too closely will only make Marc Jacobs look bad. The Marc Jacobs Color Block Pouchette is a case of imitation gone wrong. When imitating, you must take what you see and do it better, or else it is a total flop. This pouchette is a flop, a colorful disaster, and just does not mesh. The colors are indeed bold but they hurt my eyes with the hues placed together, lilac quilted leather and orange trim. The major problem is the double flap top which is finished off with a turn-lock closure and padlock detail. Marc might as well of come clean and just called it the ‘iconic Hermes padlock’. Not only am I not feeling it, but many of the ladies and gents on the Purse Forum are saying shame on Marc Jacobs! Pre-order through Bergdorf Goodman for $1275.

What do you think: Flattering for Hermes or an embarrassment for Marc Jacobs?