Hello again fellow Project Runway-ers, it’s that time of the week again: Amanda’s post-Runway roundup!  I’ve been following the pros at New York Fashion Week for the past few days, and now it’s time to take a moment to watch the amateurs try as hard as they can to pretend that they’re pros, too.  We didn’t get a whole lot of clues about the new challenge in last weeks preview – only that all of the designers go “awww” at some point, about something.  In commercials since then, we’ve learned that two of my all-time Runway FAVORITES (Christian Siriano and Daniel Vosovic) and, also, that other guy (Jay?) come back as guest judges and Heidi says, “Ooooo, dat’s baaad” in an adorably German way about something that is, surely, hideous.  So what in the world happened? 

Well, first, Blayne wakes up and we hear him ask Suede, “Did you have any dreams?”Â  Suede makes some lame joke about Pop-Tarts, but all I can think is “YES BLAYNE, I DID HAVE DREAMS, AND THEY WERE THAT YOU GOT SENT HOME, AND YOU?  YOU JUST SHATTERED THEM.”Â 

And then we find out that all of the crappy designers that got sent home already are back, and everyone has to work with one of them to create something avant-garde (woo!  I love the avant-garde challenges!  Screw regular clothes!).  As it turns out, these outfits have to be astrologically themed, for no apparent reason (other than that the PR producers have clearly run out of ideas). 

But something wonderful happened – not only are BLAYNE and STELLA paired up (how craptastic is THAT outfit going to be?  It might redefine the term, I dare say), but butt-kicking TERRI and whiny gay Mormon KEITH are together!  Obviously this means that not only did the PR powers-that-be want Keith off the show, but they’re clearly attempting to have him killed, because Terri is going to eat him.  And I will save it on my Tivo and watch it over and over again and laugh, because I hate him.

It’s impossible to know if anyone is going to suck when they’re looking around the workroom, but I feel pretty confident saying that Kenley’s is going to be, uh, not good.  The outfit looks like she’s trying pretty hard to be both Christian Siriano (and honey, she is no Christian – there can only be ONE Princess Puffysleeves) and Diane Von Furstenberg rolled in to one, and it doesn’t look like it’s gonna work.  She’s working my nerves lately with her annoying laughing (and her general existence), so I wouldn’t be sad if this didn’t work out for her tonight.

And then they get a note – they have 4 fewer hours than originally planned, and TWO DESIGNERS WILL GO HOME!  Finally, some serious thinning of the herd.  If there is any justice in this world, both Blayne and Suede will go home in one fell swoop, and they will drag Keith’s lifeless body out with them.  Another surprise is that not only are the designers mentioned in the commercial judging, but so are a bunch of others from past seasons – way too many to mention here. 

So, it’s that time again – who sucked and who didn’t?

Well, as predicted, Kenley’s was terrible.  It looked like a costume for a character at Disney World and the top seemingly had no connection to the bottom – I agree with the judge’s assessment that it looks like it came not only from two outfits, but from two completely different designers. I also had no idea whatsoever what sign it was supposed to represent.  Kenley continued to argue with and interrupt the judges, but she won’t go home tonight, because there were at least 3 outfits worse than hers.

Speaking of Disney costumes, sadly, Terri (and the loathsome Keith) made a dress straight out of Aladdin.  It looked like I could go to Party City and buy it for $49 and all I would need is the luxurious black polyester wig to be Jasmine.

Suede and alpha-loser Jerry made kind of a diaphanous silk pantsuit that wasn’t a horrible piece of clothing, but not at all avant-garde by any stretch of the imagination.  Michael Kors also totally called him out on the third-person BS (I can’t believe he referred to himself as ‘Suede’ on the runway in front of the judges), which means that I want to have a cocktail with him even more.

Also as predicted (because I have powers of logic), Blayne and Stella created a disaster  that’s almost beyond comprehension.  The body piece looked like some kind of ill-fitting vintage body diaper strapped on with many belts (LEATHA!), but the leg and arm pieces were kind of garish and flamenco (and, seemingly, from a completely different outfit.  An outfit that, I’m sure, was also bad).  In a sea of bad outfits, this was the clear loser for me tonight.

They were the bottom 3, as they should have been, and the first axe to fall?  It falls on BLAYNE!  Rejoice.

But only for a moment, because we have a travesty of epic proportions on our hands here.

The second axe doesn’t fall on Suede.  It falls on Terri.  WHAT?!?!?!  Up until now, Terri has had nary a misstep and, if memory serves, hasn’t even been in the bottom two previously.  She’s won at least one challenge and almost won several more, and she generally makes well-tailored, pretty clothes.  Suede tends to make things that any average mom with a sewing machine could home-sew (but they wouldn’t, because they have taste), and I absolutely abhorred the dress he made for the one challenge that he DID win.  Suede is a pooh-head and should obviously go home, but God hates me, so Terri leaves instead. 

On to the people that made nice clothes, although this is kind of joyless for me after the loss of Terri (she was in my final 3! I call SHENANIGANS on all of this!):

Leanne (and whatever loser she was with) rocked it yet again this week.  Her scorpio dress was avant-garde and thought-provoking, and it evoked the astrological sign without being too literal.  To me, she was the winner again this week, but the judges didn’t agree.

So who DID win?  Jerell.  And the more I look at his outfit, the more I like it.  I adore the little gold top (both its shape and its fabric were perfect), and the tailoring of the skirt is impeccable, particularly for such a thick material that must have been difficult to sew.  The jacket was also beautifully detailed and executed.  Ok, nevermind, I just talked myself into believing that Jerell was the correct choice after all.   In a world where Terri gets sent home before Suede, I don’t know what to believe anymore.

As far as next week…I can’t even remember what’s going to happen.  They’re going to make some clothes maybe?  For teachers?  Did I hear something about teachers?  Hopefully there will be no male teachers, because I’ve dated 4 male high school teachers in the past year and a half and, well, apparently spending all day with 14-year-olds will make you a tad nutty.

But I digress.  This shock has turned me into a babbling fool.  Why, Nina and Michael (and, also, Calvin Klein dude whose name I actually DO know but am too pissed to mention), why did I have to sacrifice Terri in exchange for getting rid of Blayne?

Share Your Thoughts With Us

  • me

    The season would not have been complete without one more hammering session from letha-Stella; and luckily we got it. Blayne’s outfit looked like a giant diaper. I was somewhat turned off of Terri, one of my former favorites, because she’s been a royal bee-otch lately. Although I do not care that she is a bee-otch to Keith; who is endlessly annoying. Leanne did deserve to win again. Her outfit was miles ahead of the others; in my opinion. She and Korto are my season favorites.

  • Ellez

    Why oh why is suede still here?!?! It really makes me want to cry!

  • Jerrell really nailed it for this one. I loved every little detail about his look.
    Totally agree on Blayne leaving, but Terri???? Suede should have been outta there!!!

  • KG

    meh… i was ok with terri leaving as i am getting tired of seeing her same outfit every week (well tailored pants, cute jackety top) but suede definitely should have gone before she did. he is terrible!

  • SOOO sick of Suede… he needed to go. I really liked Terri, so I am sad about that too

  • Kaytey

    I heart Jerrel and Korto. I really liked her look this week! Actually, I want one of them to win. I think Leanna is bitchy. I also liked Blayne. i thought he was cute, and he came from Brainerd, which is the suck for him. He admittedly wasn’t a great designer (by any stretch), but I think after working under someone else’s wing for a while he might improve. \
    I’m glad terri’s gone…
    “Peace out,” meany.

  • girly_bits

    Kenly’s outfit was laughable…yeah, a Disney costume. She was so smug that I was glad to see her get a dose of reality. Yep, she’s grating on my last nerve. Blayne’s outfit was beyond hideous. What WAS he thinking. Can we dare to hope that Suede will be kicked out next week? (Please, if there’s any justice in the world). Terri was by far the better designer and perhaps she stumbled this week, but Suede should have been kicked out just on the irritation factor. Then again Terri has become mega beee-atch and I wasn’t sad to see her go.

  • AStar:)

    I loved the recap….and totally agree. But Kenley needs to be taken down a peg or two more. Her condescending (or maybe overly familiar) attitude towards Heidi and the judges is deplorable. She acts as though she is so superior to the others and it was absolutely wonderful to see her fail (although how could she have thought that hideous costume would win). Especially since she refused to let Wesley assist her. Just like Terri……..too bad. As much as we all dislike Keith and his ways he has won a challenge before (unlike Terri) so she should have shown more class (and tolerance) in dealing with him. Now he probably has more fans than her and it’s doubtful that she will even will fan favorite. Her behavior was so baaaaad…….. But don’t you love Heidi and Project Runway. I hope Kenley has another baaaaad week ;)

  • ATLCutie

    So shocked that Terri is gone. I had a pegged for a final four appearance. However now my top three are Leanne, Korto, and Jarrell. I will be glad when Suede, and Kenely are gone. No mention of Kenley’s “I don’t watch collections” comment. How funny was that, and non believable.

  • girly_bits

    Yeah the “I don’t watch collections” was pretty funny. Her costume (I repeat ‘costume’) looked like an oversized back-to-school (plaid) Tinkerbell. BTW, I’m getting really tired of her balloon skirt that seems to show up every other week. Give me something else! My fav had to be when she told D von Furstenburg that she needed a dress in her lineup…what arrogance. I think that getting away with that just fueled her for this episode.

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