Back when I wrote about the fantastical, confusing, reptilian shoes that Alexander McQueen showed for his brilliant Spring 2010 runway show, I remember thinking that the only person that I could see actually trying to wear the shoes in any serious way was Lady Gaga. Apparently I can predict the future, so if any of you would like to know if you should dump your current boyfriend, you know who to ask.

Get your sparkle on this fall. It seems Swarovski crystals are one of the fiercest trends of the season. With the influence of Swarovski crystals by Balmain on everything from boots, to handbags and jeans, the tiny bits of Austrian sparkle are not just for jewelry any more. We love a bit of glitz now and then and all taken in moderation.

Halloween is approaching quickly. It is one of my favorite holidays. I love seeing people en route to a costume party or just running an errand dressed in full Halloween attire. The creativity of the costumes seen on San Francisco streets is an inspiration to behold. Many of the costumes seen on Halloween are extremely ornate and beautiful or shockingly frightening.

Between the half-shoes/half-claws shown by Alexander McQueen and Chanel Spring 2010 being show in a barn with smirking models, I thought I had seen every ridiculous thing that Paris Fashion Week had to offer.

And then at Louis Vuitton Spring 2010, creative director Marc Jacobs saw fit to attach furry tails to the bags. Yep, that happened.

As far as bags go, the show started…dreadfully.

Add some sparkle to your step this fall with a sequined handbag. This season it is all about luxe embellishments. Paillettes and sequins adorn handbags that can be worn both day and night. The dazzling surface, texture and color will get you noticed. Simply pair a sequined bag with an all black outfit comprised of skinny jeans for day or with a pretty and minimalist cocktail dress for evening.

In case you have previously considered the idea of wearing a $10,000 purse as a gym bag and ruled it out, Hermes would apparently like you to rethink that decision.

Jean Paul Gaultier’s entire Hermes Spring 2010 collection was a riff on country club chic, and enormous Kellys and Birkins as workout wear, replete with leather tennis ball carriers, were the icing on top of the luxe-prepster cake.

Like the rest of Chanel‘s Spring 2010 collection, the bags that we saw walk their runway (barnway?) were more rustic-chic than classic Parisian. Whether that’s your thing or not, Karl Lagerfeld certainly seems to believe in it.

The problem with Chanel, though, is that for better or for worse, they have a lot of aesthetic history to consider when a new collection is designed, and Lagerfeld usually chooses to acknowledge that history.

I must disagree, strenuously and vociferously, with the reintroduction of the wood-bottom clog to the high fashion lexicon. Even when these particular wood-bottom clogs are from Chanel Spring 2010. I will not stand for it.

What I do like, however, is smiling. Models smiling. When was the last time that you saw model after model, looking reasonably happy and human, in a major fashion show.

Unless you weren’t already convinced of Alexander McQueen‘s dark genius by the pictures of the clothing from his show, we submit to you: the shoes.

What we got from this collection (among other things) is perhaps the most ostentatious, progressive approach to footwear that we’ve ever seen from a major designer, at least in recent memory. The shoes were, on average, a full ten inches tall with huge platforms in the front to make them at least somewhat functional for walking.

Alexander McQueen. He wins. He wins at innovation, he wins at Paris Fashion Week, he wins at life. His collection was so mesmerizing, so totally awe-inspiring, that I don’t even need to see the rest of the shows to declare him the victor.

McQueen titled his show “Plato’s Atlantis,” and the aquatic, amphibious influence was clear from look one. Other designers this season have shown us visions of the world, post-apocalypse, but this collection may be the most fully realized of any of them.