Python, brights, neon, trends, Spring 2012, etc. You guys know the drill. I’ve typed variations on that sentence a million times already and it’s only February, and based on my own personal contemplation of the purchase of an orange lace dress yesterday, I don’t think it’s going to abate anytime soon. That’s fine by me; summer is a time to enjoy a particular sort of fashion extreme, and that opportunity should be seized while it’s still available.

Emilio Pucci, it would seem, is all about seizing the opportunity. Or at least seizing the python – the new batch of Emilio Pucci Python Accessories that just hit Net-a-Porter will envelope everything from passports to iPad in bold snakeskin goodness. The stuff inside your bag wants to get in on the trend too, naturally. Lucky for all of us, these pieces come in multiple colors.

Emilio Pucci Neon Python iPad Case, $850 via Net-a-Porter

Emilio Pucci Neon Python Passport Cover, $350 via Net-a-Porter

Emilio Pucci Neon Python iPhone Sleeve, $390 via Net-a-Porter

Ok, so we’ve spent plenty of time lately talking about brights, neons and other assorted eye-assaulting colors that you might want to wear for spring. While Megs and I love and adore those kinds of bags, we realize that they may not be for every, either in a practical or an aesthetic sense. If you’d like something a tad more neutral but you still want to update your bag wardrobe for spring, you’re in luck – snakeskin is still the texture that everyone wants to have.

We’ve covered the all-snake look in the past, but for many women, a bag that mixes snakeskin and regular leather is a more demure option that allows a bag to be acceptable in a work environment where it might have otherwise been a bit too showy. Plus, mixing textures is also a big trend, so you’re getting a little bang for your buck here. (Your metaphorical buck, at least. Stuff’s still expensive.) And yes, we included one bright option. It’s almost spring, I couldn’t help it.

Fendi Chameleon Colorblock Tote, $5370 via Neiman Marcus

Yves Saint Laurent Cabas ChYc Python Tote, $2795 via Neiman Marcus

Jimmy Choo Jasmine Python and Leather Clutch, $1695 via Saks

Dolce & Gabbana Dolce Straw Handbag, $1875 via Neiman Marcus

Reed Krakoff Standard Mini Shoulder Bag, $690 via Net-a-Porter

Michael Kors Saddle Bag, $895 via Neiman Marcus

December 15th: It’s 10 days until Christmas and we’re in the thick of the holiday party season, where everyone’s wearing great winter textures like cashmere and fur and wool and leather and heavy beading. This is the greatest time of the year for someone who truly adores clothing and accessories, and yet, I feel as though I’m stuck in a spring state of mind. The brights just won’t let me go!

With bags like the Emilio Pucci Python Box Clutch and Emilio Pucci Python Shoulder Bag starting to pop up for resort and spring, it’s tough to get excited about charcoal and navy. I appreciate subtlety, but I really appreciate candy-neon snakeskin.

What I really like about both of these bags is their simplicity. When you’ve got a punchy color and a luxurious texture going on at the same time, adding too many other design elements on top spoils the simple pleasures of neon and python. I don’t know exactly what kind of party would merit the use of this kind of box clutch, but if I had it, I’m sure I could find an event. The pink crossbody, on the other hand, is entirely self-explanatory.

Emilio Pucci Python Crossbody, priced at $2850 via Net-a-Porter

Emilio Pucci Python Box Clutch, priced at $1750 via Net-a-Porter

Without a doubt, snakeskin has been the biggest accessories trend of 2011. Everyone from Gucci to Valentino to Diane von Furstenberg has clamored for a piece of the exotic pie, and we’re betting that if you have a handbag lover on your list, she might want a little bit of snake in her stocking as well. Worried that you don’t have the budget for an exotic? Fret not, we have you covered.

From a little to a lot of snakeskin and from printed to embossed to the real thing, the latest installment of our Holiday Gift Guide 2011 deals with all things that slither (or that walk on hooves, but now we pretend that they slither so that we can save some cash). From wallets to everyday satchels, if it has scales, we’ve got it covered.

Gucci 1973 Medium Python Flap Bag, $2900 via Neiman Marcus

Elie Tahari Tammie Bag, $398 via ShopBop

Stella McCartney Falabella Faux Python Tote, $1435 via Net-a-Porter

Kotur Morley Embossed Minaudiere, $560 via Neiman Marcus

Diane von Furstenberg Zip Around Continental Wallet, $245 via ShopBop

Valentino One-of-a-Kind Snakeskin Satchel, was $2895, now $1939 via Neiman Marcus

VBH Brera Shiny Python Tote, $4800 via Bergdorf Goodman

Carlos Falchi East-West Gathered Python Tote, was $2495, now $1671 via Neiman Marcus

Marc by Marc Jacobs Snake Print Nylon Tote, $190 via Net-a-Porter

As regular readers have probably noticed, Megs and I have different personal styles. I tend more toward black, she tends more toward brown. She usually chooses hippie-ish details, I prefer industrial finishes. Our tastes overlap more than you’d think, considering those big differences, and one place that we’re always able to meet in the middle is over our shared love for everything Proenza Schouler – especially the handbags.

That’s why it didn’t surprise me when yesterday, Megs turned her laptop around to show me a bag she was drooling over and it just so happened to be the same one that I had stared at for what seemed like hours a few days prior – the Proenza Schouler Python Suede PS1 Bag. Just…look at it.

I’m eying a PS1 (or maybe a PS11? I can’t decide.) as a Christmas present to myself, and although I know that this python version isn’t in the budget, I can’t help but sigh with desire every time I look at it. With all the python colors and finishes that we’ve seen pass through retail accessory departments over the last six months, I think this combination has to be my favorite. Sueded python is so incredibly modern and luxurious compared to its glossy alternative, and this grey shade variation brings the skin’s natural texture into stark relief. If I had to pick this week’s ultimate splurge, there’s no question – this bag would be it. Priced at $3645 via Barneys

If you’re not familiar with vintage powerhouses What Goes Around Comes Around, you should be. The New York-based retro aggregator, often abbreviated WGACA, searches out and resells some of the best pre-owned duds in the country, and today, that includes two lovely Hermes Vintage Crocodile Bags that are up for grabs via ShopBop. They’re very Betty Draper, right? Or maybe they’re more Trudie Campbell…

ShopBop doesn’t list the era from which either of these bags originated, but they look an awful lot like the small, structured, elbow-carried bags that were popular among wealthy women of the Mad Men era – the late 50s and early 60s. Hermes was at the top of the leather goods mountain back then as well (and the brand often plays a part in the show, come to think of it), so these two bags, which both lack external branding, are among the finest examples of the period’s luxury handbags.

Looking at these designs makes it easy to see where the inspiration for the currently trendy ladybags comes from, and then they’re Hermes croc on top of it. For $8000 apiece, you’d have the be a serious vintage hound or Hermes fangirl to buy one, but right now I’m missing Mad Men so much that if I were asininely rich, I might consider it. Then all I’d need is one of Joan’s dresses…well, and her hips. Buy through ShopBop for $8000 here and here.

I wrote a post on this topic approximately 800 years ago, which I cannot find at the moment, but I think it’s a topic worth revisiting in light of the handbag world’s continuing trends. A commenter over at TalkShoes mentioned late last week that she didn’t care for the shoes that match the Gucci 1973 Python Bag because she only likes natural-colored python, and I used to be the exact same way. Clearly, that’s changed.

With Women’s Wear Daily reporting that we can expect to see rainbow reptile accessories well into 2012, you’re probably either full of joy or disappointment at the prospect of seeing more candy-colored python on store shelves for at least six months. Even though I was a naysayer in the past, when the colors are as well-chosen as those in the current Gucci collection (and this bag in particular), I’m glad this trend came about.

I like this combination of shades so much that any material or design that could make it happen is probably cool with me. In fact, it was one of my favorite fall runway bags from the very beginning, and Gucci isn’t usually a brand that jumps out and grabs me with its catwalk accessories. The interior, lined in blue leather, is neatly compartmentalized to make the most of the modest amount of space inside this ladylike bag, but it’s not the interior that I care about. With so much pretty going on outside, how could you? Buy through Net-a-Porter for $2900.

Did you look through the show shots from Louis Vuitton Spring 2012 and think to yourself, “Self, there’s a whole boatload of crocodile in this collection, and I’m not just talking about bags?” If you did, Women’s Wear Daily‘s report that LVMH has invested heavily in a family-owned Singaporean crocodile tannery makes so much sense that it’s almost silly.

Indeed, the exotics in Vuitton’s show didn’t stop at bags; it seemed like every other model was wearing a powdery pastel coat or jacket made of yards of the exceptionally pricey skin, the MSRPs of which will surely boggle the mind once they come to retail. If Vuitton (and LVMH’s other leather goods brands, including Celine and Givenchy) intends to continue this uptick in crocodile design, then this investment could be the start of many beautiful accessories to come. Are you a croc customer?

Accessories companies like Louis Vuitton that have an enormous range of price points and enough cultural clout to pull people in who might not otherwise be luxury accessories customers usually make the bulk of their profit in the lower end of their price point, but the acquisition of the controlling share in the Singaporean Heng Long International tannery indicates that the company feels that it has opportunities at the higher end of the price spectrum as well. And they’re probably right; LV’s profits keep expanding, and several of the aforementioned brands that the company owns are having accessories heydays as well.

Perhaps unexpectedly, LVMH’s move toward exotics is particularly savvy in a faltering global economy. While the low-end customers may be feeling the pinch, those who might buy a $30,000 crocodile Speedy are raking in money at pre-crash rates. That’s why Hermes keeps expanding rapidly every quarter; it’s a company whose customers are generally in an economic class that doesn’t feel much of a pinch because of fiscal fluctuations. If I was a gambler, I’d bet that this acquisition is an indication that LVMH is trying to ensure that its brands move into a similar spot, if they aren’t there already.

Not to mention, of course, that vertical integration is good for business when you’re a company the size of LVMH. The more steps in the production process that it can control, the more affect that its decisions and policies can have on not only how much LVMH spends on raw materials, but also on global prices for exotic leathers. The rich just keep getting richer, and Louis Vuitton intends to get richer by supplying them with incredibly expensive leather goods.

As is probably to be expected of anything that’s received as much press attention as this little bag has, naturally.

The Huffington Post is reporting that The Row’s $34,000 black alligator backpack has sold out, but that appears to be the result of a misinterpreted quote that one of the Olsen sisters gave to Women’s Wear Daily during a party for their newly launched handbag line in Paris. My suspicion is corroborated by the fact that Net-a-Porter still has the bag in stock well after its debut, but the point still stands – people are buying this bag. Who are they? As always, I have a few theories.

First, though, it’s important to understand that this bag was likely made in extremely limited quantities, which means that it wouldn’t take a whole lot of units for it to “sell out,” which the Olsens don’t even seem to be claiming that it has done. If you read the linked WWD article, Ashley Olsen merely says that the bag was “the first thing to sell off the shelf.” That’s a little different than claiming a complete sell-through of global inventory, at least to me. It does indicate brisk sales, though, at least relative to available (small) supply.

Second, there’s a sucker born every minute. If you’re a regular watcher of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, then you know that someone was on the show this week, bragging about buying a $25,000 pair of sunglasses. Because this bag has been all over the press for its high price tag, women who have more access to cash than self-esteem have likely taken to this design like ducks to water. All of their friends will already know how much it cost on sight, and then the bragging can begin.

Third, I’m willing to allow that this is actually a fairly attractive bag for those who dig The Row’s modern-minimal aesthetic. The brand’s pieces have been super pricey since its inception, so The Row’s devoted clients are those with money to burn. It wouldn’t shock me if one or two of them were up to the challenge of burning it on this bag in particular. Also, Mary Kate and Ashley likely have lots of rich friends, so maybe a few of them who aren’t close enough (or famous enough – think about all fashion issues from a PR perspective, always) to be gifted with a bag this expensive put their money where their mouths were.

This is speculation, of course, but I’m betting that some combination of those scenarios occurred to sell a few stupidly expensive alligator backpacks over the last month. If someone wants to, you know, give me one, I wouldn’t say no. Just in case someone with a billion dollars is out there, reading this, and wondering if I’d like one as a gift. My birthday’s coming up.

Two ridiculously expensive black alligator bags in one day, oh my! We previously reported that The Row would release and price their alligator backpack at $39,000. If you have 40 large to burn, then I have good news for you: the actual retail price is $34,000 and it is available now at Net-A-Porter.

The bad news for the majority of the world is that $34,000 buys a nice car, college tuition, mortgage payments, or a yearly salary. So hop on the “not-going-to-buy-this-bag-ever” train with me if you fall into that category.

But sticker shock aside, let’s talk about the design of The Row Alligator Backpack.

First off and most obviously, this is a backpack. Some fashion designers have embraced the backpack look over time but there has never been a huge push toward the trend. I prefer my backpack days to be left to highschool, but I don’t deny that a fashionable backpack can be created.

I do think The Row has created a very beautiful backpack, one that even I would wear. The black alligator skin stands out on the body of the bag and then there are adjustable canvas straps, an internal detachable handle, plenty of pockets, and leather lining. To give a bit of a casual touch, the backpack has a drawstring top. I can easily see both Olsen twins carrying this bag, slung over their shoulder or dangling from their hands, leaving every girl yearning to make this backpack style her own.

The more I look at this bag, the more it grows on me. It might even turn me into a backpack loving girl again. But the price is absurd for a brand that is new to the handbag world (granted, the price is absurd in general).

Buy via Net-A-Porter for $34,000.