If you’re a bit of a magpie, listen up – we’ve got enough shine and glitter to keep you entertained for minutes on end, thanks to the retro-modern box clutchery of Edie Parker. Contrary to what the midcentury styling and name of the brand might indicate, the brand is named after designer Brett Heyman’s daughter, not Edie Sedgwick or Jack Kerouac’s wife.

So here’s something interesting: At the Golden Globe Awards two weeks ago, our expert analysis (that would be me, squinting at paparazzi photos for several hours) found that Roger Vivier’s evening bags won the day as handbag of choice for the widest variety of starlets. At Sunday night’s 2013 Screen Actors Guild Awards, on the other hand, Judith Leiber was by almost everyone’s side.

With the ting accessories of the Golden Globes fresh in my mind, I couldn’t help spending a little bit of extra time in the evening bag sections of my favorite shopping websites last week. Here’s one thing I learned (and trust me, it’s groundbreaking): clutches cost a lot. It often seems as though the less they’ll hold, the more they cost, and still I want all of them.

When it comes to award shows, the gowns get all the televised glory. The bags that are carried with them are generally tiny, of course, and perhaps the public at large isn’t as obsessed with the details of a tiny evening bag as we are. That’s their choice, even if I don’t necessarily support or understand it. For everyone else (meaning all of you guys), I’ve done the brave work of identifying as many clutches that traveled the red carpet at Sunday night’s 2013 Golden Globes as humanly possible.

By now, we’re all well familiar with the Marchesa aesthetic – all girly details, all the time. The brand isn’t girly in a young, innocent way, though; instead, Marchesa goes for full-on luxury of the highest order, including all the rhinestones, Swarovski crystals and pale exotics leathers that you can possibly stand. If you ever wanted to be a princess when you were growing up, Marchesa is prepared to make your dreams come true.

With Christmas fast approaching and the opportunity to shop for gifts drawing to a close, lots of online retailers are beginning to refocus themselves for New Year’s Eve preparations. Traditionally, year-end festivities are a time for glitzy dresses and disco-ball-inspired accessories, and if you’re looking to bedazzle yourself head-to-toe in bling, then mazel tov – this is exactly the occasion to indulge your inner magpie.

If there were ever a designer that I (and probably all of you) don’t associate with with mixture of pale pink feathers and bright, shiny rhinestones, it’s Alexander McQueen. Well, it’s also Rick Owens, but that’s neither here nor there; will you just look at the Alexander McQueen Knuckle Duster Ostrich Feather Clutch? It’s like something out of a six-year-old girl’s most fervent princess fantasies, and I can’t decide if that means I love it or hate it.

Thursday is my least favorite day of the week lately. You’re so close to the weekend that you can almost taste it, and yet you still have a full day of work ahead of you before you can even get to Friday. And then a full day of work on Friday before you can get to happy hour. I don’t know how to describe that, other than “cruel.” Particularly when it’s summer outside and all I want to do is go get some frozen yogurt and stare at something that’s not my computer for a few hours.

The contemporary handbag market is so full, so absolutely glutted, that it’s always extra impressive when a piece truly stands out. With the price of leather and hardware design what it is, finding a way to be creative at a reasonable price point grows more difficult by the day. That’s why I’m so obsessed with the Anndra Neen Cage Purse – even though similar bags have existed in the past, Neen’s take is unique both on the current contemporary market and at the $650 price point.

I don’t say this around here enough: I love Kotur clutches, which are designed by native New Yorker Fiona Kotur. The brand is small and independent, but the designs are the type of bold, self-assured look that you’d expect to see from a much bigger (not to mention much more expensive) brand. Kotur makes larger bags that stretch into the thousands of dollars, but its clutches are really where the company’s aesthetic shines, and all of the pieces on the Moda Operandi Resort 2013 pre-sale retail for $650 or less.

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