You know how they say time flies when you’re having fun? I am certain that this is both cliche and true, as I have no idea how it is nearly the middle of February. For the fashion world, this means Fashion Week (aka month) is here, and for the rest of the world it means Valentine’s day is upon us. As much as I love getting gifts, I look forward to putting together a Valentine’s outfit more than anything.

I’ve been obsessing over the Lulu Guiness Lips Clutch for years and I am not the only one. My mom went gaga for this clutch and Vlad and I bought it for her for Christmas this year. This novelty item is cutesy without being over-the-top. It would make for a great Valentine’s day gift but also for the perfect clutch to carry to your romantic Valentine’s day dinner. But if you love this look and want a look for less, we found the perfect option.

Felix Rey is constantly providing accessory lovers with funky products and right when I saw the Felix Rey Kissy Face Mesh Clutch, I immediately thought of the infamous Lulu Guiness Lips Clutch. The dimensions of both are very similar as is the look of both items. For hundreds less you can nab the lips clutch style, but if you ask me, I’d go for one of the original Lulu Guiness versions, of which there are plenty. Shop the Lulu Guiness Lips clutch for $465 via Lulu Guiness online and buy the Felix Rey option for $119 via ShopBop.

Like any proud lover of luxury goods, I spend my fair share of time trying to explain to people that we’re not all slaves to a famous name when it comes to paying for accessories. Sure, some of the reason that prices are the way they are is that many of the brands we love have built of a reputation and history for themselves as employing the kind of aesthetic and artistic talent to craft the finest leather goods on the planet. The name is something, particularly when it stands for a history of craftsmanship and quality, but it’s not everything. Or so I argue. When I look at a bag like the Stella McCartney Ava Faux Python Clutch, though, I can’t help but wonder if I’m merely brainwashed.

I actually don’t have any aesthetic qualms with this design; in fact, I think it’s quite nice and I’m impressed that they got yellow material and gold hardware to function together without looking terrible. It’s no small feat! What I do have a problem with is the fact that it costs $2000 for what is essentially a gussied up PVC box clutch not dissimilar in fabrication to what you’d find at your local Target.

Sure, I’m understand that the manufacturing is probably more careful. The design, too, is much nicer, and those two things definitely factor in to what a bag costs. What brands often cite as the largest influencer of handbag prices, though, is materials, and that’s a place where Stella McCartney has little room to argue on her own behalf. Everywhere else in her line, she uses nothing but the best, which you can tell as soon as you lay eyes on one of her gorgeous knits. Because McCartney has strong views on the ethics of animal products in fashion, though, no leather goes into any of her bags, as most of you probably know. It’s all PVC.

I applaud her for sticking to her convictions about what materials she will and won’t use, but I believe that with the use of PVC should come with an adjustment in price. As I explained last time I wrote about a PVC bag, it’s simply not a luxury material by any stretch of the imagination, and it’s just about as cheap as it gets. I’ve never seen any claim from McCartney that the PVC she uses is some kind of special chemical blend that makes it more environmentally friendly or luxurious, and from what I can tell it’s just…PVC. I’ve never seen McCartney make any claims about the environmental friendliness of her PVC, and some of it has struck me was rather leather-like, but mostly, I haven’t been impressed.

So while I’m ok with McCartney charging a little bit extra for her name and maybe even a lot extra for design and construction, the fact that Stella charges fine leather prices for the finest in oil-based chemical non-leather will forever stop me from owning one of her bags. It’s too bad, I really like this clutch. Buy through Net-a-Porter for $1995.

A few months ago, I wrote a funny little post about bags that could be used as weapons. As fashion’s penchant for embellishment grows increasingly inescapable, it seems as though most high-end accessories can be repurposed for self-defense in an emergency, and with the prices that designers charge, it’s frankly nice that they have the extra utility.

If I had only known that the Christian Louboutin Marquise Clutch would be coming out, I would have waited to write that post. This bag may be the first I’ve ever seen that would actually allow you to stab a mugger, a cheating husband, that jerk in front of you in the line at Target, whoever strikes your stabbing fancy. I wonder if this bag could be classified as a deadly weapon?

With the length of the spikes, I wouldn’t be surprised if airport security pulled you aside to have an extra look at this bag if they were to find it in your carry-on. Keep that in mind for future travel plans – if you’d like to carry this clutch (or wear the matching shoes) at your eventual destination, they should probably be stowed in your checked baggage. Once you’ve reached your destination, stab people to your little heart’s content. Buy through Net-a-Porter for $1295.

The most important thing to note about the Dolce & Gabbana Jewel and Pearl Embellished Bag, right up front, is that it’s a full foot wide. I’m going to allow you to adjust to that information for a moment, perhaps measure an air-foot out with your hands to get an idea of the scale that we’re talking about here.

Ok, are we good now? Great.

For those of you who are having trouble visualizing exactly how gigantic this bag is relative to the amount of random shiny things that are stuck to it, here’s what it looked like on the Dolce & Gabbana Fall 2011 runway:

Image via Vogue

Most bags that have this much, err, embellishment are usually about five inches wide, with extremely rigid structures to stand up under the weight of so much stuff. This bag, on the other hand, is more than twice as large and still looks like it was covered in glue, dunked in glitter and then attacked by a wanton Bedazzler. After seeing it on the runway, I wondered if it would even get to production or go down in history as one of those wonderfully daffy fashion show pieces that stays in the archives forever, in a bit of very stylish suspended animation.

I was wrong, though, because you can buy it! You can buy it if you have seven grand for which you have run out of uses. I bet Lady Gaga and Nicki Minaj have already received theirs, gratis. And really, they’re the only people who could get away with carrying something so over-the-top. Buy through Net-a-Porter for $6895.

If you’re a regular PurseBlog reader, you know how I feel about fur bags, even though I’ve softened enough this season to allow fur accents without too much griping. And then I see something like the Christian Louboutin Anastasia Clutch and I remember why fur bags are a bad idea all over again.

Only one word came to mind when I saw this bag: Pomeranian. Because the bag is made out of fox fur, it already has the look and color of a canine to it, and the coppery shade and length almost exactly match the tiny dogs beloved by people who want to carry their pets in their handbags. Unfortunately, this clutch looks like you’re trying to carry your pet as your handbag. I’m just waiting for it to poke its little head out from under the fur and start begging for a Snausage.

My gripe with fur, other than the well-know ethical issues surrounding its use, has always been that it’s generally too long and lush to work in the structured, functional world of handbags. And this clutch proves just that – despite obviously having a frame under there somewhere, the bag looks like nothing more than a giant furball that you’ll have to carry around by hand all night. And actually, that’s exactly what it is, not to mention that it probably looks like your pet’s long-lost cousin. Buy through Neiman Marcus for $2345.

There are plenty of indications that I’ve fallen a little too far down the fashion rabbit hole. The foot-long neon pink feather earrings that I searched out for a month? A telltale sign. My urge to apologize to both friends and strangers for the sensible shoes I’ve been wearing since I hurt my ankle a few weeks ago? Another one. But perhaps the most obvious sign yet is that upon viewing the Christopher Kane Aqua Gel-Filled PVC Clutches, my first thought was, “Well, I’d totally carry the pink one.”

Granted, I’ve had five months to get used to the look. Kane debuted ready-to-wear made out of similar gel material at his London runway show during fashion week to somewhat mixed reviews, but I thought then and think now that the construction is pretty damn cool. He’s a young designer and something of a wunderkind, and I appreciate anyone who’s willing to take a chance like this while the pressure of burgeoning fame is on. You don’t get noticed in fashion by following the pack.

At the same time, I can imagine myself enjoying the squishy colored gel inside the clutch and how it would move around and create patterns while being carried, even if the effect is a tad childish. Sometimes some weirdness and immaturity is a great thing to have in your closet for a night when you need a little dose of fun. These clutches are for the adventurous (and perhaps slightly brain-damaged) only, but sometimes that’s what makes fashion so great. Buy through Net-a-Porter for $720 in green or pink.

For how small they are, it can be difficult to find a reasonably priced box clutch. I’ve yet to figure out exactly why it is that they seem to be marked up more than their soft counterparts; does the rigid structure cost more money or use more manufacturing time? Do brands simply know that consumers are willing to pay a little more for a bag that they perceive as more formal? I’m guessing that it’s some combination of the two, which makes the reasonable price tags for the Halston Heritage Susan Box Clutches all the more exciting.

These designs aren’t charting any new fashion territory, but like Diane von Furstenberg’s Lytton Minaudieres, they’re filling an important void in the market – non-formal evening bags at a contemporary price point. You don’t have to wait for a gala to carry these designs, just your next night out, but they’re a slightly more streamlined option than your average clutch. That also means you have to be careful what you pack, but at seven inches wide, these box clutches are bigger in person than you’d expect.

So let’s talk price. I’m a bit of a magpie, as we all know, so I’m naturally drawn to the Halston Heritage Susan Metal Mesh Clutch, which actually appears to be covered in tiny gunmetal pyramid studs on close inspection. It clocks in at $295, which is $100 more than its colorful counterpart, the Halston Heritage Susan Watersnake Clutch, which will only set you back $195 for real snakeskin. These price points may not be totally unheard of, but for this type of product, they’re definitely hard to find. Buy the metal mesh or watersnake versions, both via ShopBop.

Famous works of art made out of children’s toys are on-face funny in a way that requires no explanation, but the joke here is better if you have some background on famed Dutch painter Piet Mondrian, whose work graces this clutch. Mondrian was part of an early 20th century art movement called neoplasticism, but that doesn’t mean that plastic was involved in the painting. (Mondrian painted on canvas.) So this is Mondrian’s neoplastic work on actual plastic, and the fact that this little joke makes me giggle probably tells you all you need to know about how utterly lame I am.

On another level, I also thoroughly enjoy the bizarre combination of Dutch fine art and children’s toys that I associate with my 80s American upbringing, and it strikes me that the angular, colorful medium of Legos is a pretty perfect re-imagining of Mondrian’s work. I would absolutely wear this weird little clutch if someone were to give it to me, or if I were to find it in a secondhand store. I won’t pay the asking price, so for now, I’ll smile at it from afar. Buy for $1254 through Luisa Via Roma.

This may sound crazy, but I swear that when I first laid eyes on the Proenza Schouler PS1 Linen and Leather Clutch, the room immediately felt a few degrees cooler. Things are starting to heat up in Atlanta, as always happens so quickly after we get those first few perfect spring days, and ceiling fans and air conditioners are working overtime to keep everyone below the Mason-Dixon Line from going outside, lying facedown in the grass and falling asleep in the sun. This clutch, though, made me feel like I was standing right under a vent with the temperature turned all the way down.

I love, love, love linen, but we all know why it’s problematic – oh, the wrinkles. Sitting, standing, crossing your legs, walking, there’s nothing you can do to keep your linen pristine besides standing stark still like a mannequin, and unless your job is to be one of those creepy human “mannequins” in a shop window, that’s probably not going to work out for you. What will work is a linen clutch, where the material is pulled tight and not subject to lots of pesky body movement.

Not only does this clutch provide a heavy dose of the classic summer woven, but it also has enough tan and white leather to satisfy those who prefer their bags a little more luxe than your average canvas bag. The combination of colors is neutral but still interesting, and all three colors manage to both stand out and work together. If you’re looking for a summery clutch that won’t compete with your bright warm-weather outfits, then look no further. Buy through Net-a-Porter for $735.

If that time has yet to arrive for you, perhaps you’d like to bring greige into the new season with the Matthew Williamson Raffia Leather Clutch. Although this bag has all the island-themed elements of a prototypical straw clutch, they’re rendered in a shade that still screams fall. Well, as much as greige can scream anything, anyway.

I’m genuinely torn between liking the luxurious leather look of this clutch and desperately wanting it to be in a more season-appropriate color, but when I look at the price, I feel a little better. Not because the price is great; on the contrary, it’s much too high for a leather clutch with straw accents, which means that I don’t have to fight with myself over whether or not I should consider buying it. Despite my positive initial reaction, this bag will remain a “pass” for me until it gets adjustments on color and price. Buy through ShopBop for $1695.