As you can imagine, it takes several hours of work to put together one of our "The Many Bags of..." features. We have to look through thousands of paparazzi photos, squinting at grainy thumbnails that may or may not include bags we haven't even thought of in four years, trying to remember what they're called and who made them. When that's done, we have to organize all the information we've gleaned into a logical whole for your viewing pleasure. It can get a little tedious at times, but with the right celeb, it's actually pretty fun. Lucky for me, Sharon Osbourne is definitely one of those "right" celebs.
First of all, it's important for you to know that a significant portion of these photographs were taken while Sharon was either heading into or coming out of Barneys in LA, which seems to be her favorite place on Earth. (Who could blame her, really?) Many of the others were taken on shopping trips to various other locales. By all accounts, Sharon would make the best shopping buddy ever, and she'd probably buy you a little Chanel while she was at it. Second, the Chanel - she loves it. There is just...so much Chanel. Third, Sharon often makes faces at the camera, has crazy, fiery, unnaturally red hair that has, at times, been styled like she put her finger in a socket and seems to own little in the way of clothing beyond items that are black or white and loose-fitting. I say that with love, of course - I've loved her since the days of The Osbournes and look at all these photos only made me love her more. If kids of my parents' generation thought June Cleaver was their TV mom, then Sharon Osbourne is mine. (And actually, she reminds me a lot of my actual mom. In a good way, if you're reading this, Pam.)
Sharon's bag collection is pretty extensive, but let's start with the Hermes Birkins. That seems like as good a place to start as any, right? She has two black versions of the bag - here's the one with Palladium hardware.
And then here's Sharon's black-with-gold Birkin.
Sharon loves an Hermes bag charm - here she is with one on her red Hermes Birkin.
And to round out the Birkins, a beautiful taupe version. (Side note: Hermes does the best taupe. Hands down.)
It's not a Birkin, of course, but Sharon's Hermes Garden Party Tote does make a pretty good shopping companion.
Like many Hermes fans, Sharon also likes Bottega Veneta. Here she is with an enormous Bottega Veneta Cabat Tote. She has the smaller version of this bag in the same finish as well, but sadly, we couldn't get our hands on the rights to one of those photos. Shop Bottega Veneta via Net-a-Porter.
Sharon doesn't carry much color, but this Bottega Veneta Krim Tote is pretty light and bright. Shop Bottega Veneta via Net-a-Porter.
This Bottega Veneta Canvas Tote is a throwback all the way to 2008. Shop Bottega Veneta via Net-a-Porter.
Straw is also quite the departure for Sharon, but I don't think anyone would begrudge her this Dior Lady Dior Woven Raffia Tote
Sharon seems to prefer two specific shapes: oversized shoulder bags and totes or itty-bitty mini crossbodies. She has a lot of mini Chanel, which we'll get to when we explore her enormous Chanel collection in a bit, but for now, let's acknowledge her Lanvin Happy Crossbody Bag. Pick up the updated version for $1,990 via Nordstrom.
Another mini bag, this one from a brand that I can't remember. In fact, Sharon tends to carry less recognizable things more than you'd think.
This beautiful burgundy crocodile bag is from years ago, which may be why I haven't been able to find any information on it.
Another lovely crocodile bag that I can't identify, but I'd love to know who makes this stunner.
The long hobo makes two anonymous appearances in Sharon's collection. First, this buttery-looking black leather version.
This white hobo doesn't pique my interest as much as Sharon's other unknown bags, but her collection is so good in general that it doesn't bother me.
It's not a mystery who made this bag - it's a Louis Vuitton LVoe Tote.
Sharon's Louis Vuitton Manhattan GM Tote also isn't much of a stumper. It's no longer available, but you can shop Louis Vuitton via the brand's official site.
One of my favorite things about picking through Sharon's collection was that she was famous and being followed by the paparazzi during the original "It Bag" era, which yielded a couple of gems like this Fendi Spy Bag. Shop Fendi via Neiman Marcus.
Sharon also had several of the popular YSL bags of that era, including this enormous Yves Saint Laurent Raspail Tote. Shop Saint Laurent via Net-a-Porter.
Yves Saint Laurent Besace Messenger Bag? Yep, Sharon had one of those too. Shop Saint Laurent via Net-a-Porter.
This skull tote isn't Treesje and it doesn't look like any McQueen I've ever seen, but the wife of the Prince of Darkness can carry whatever skull bag she wants, I guess. (She's also a big fan of McQueen's skull scarves.)
You've probably noticed by now that Sharon dresses mostly in black and white, which begets quite the fondness for white bags, including this Goyard St. Louis Tote.
This Pierre Hardy Leather Satchel typifies Sharon's wardrobe choices - black and white, relaxed, easy. Shop Pierre Hardy via farfetch.com.
And now, what we've all been waiting for - Sharon's extensive Chanel collection. Let's start small with a Chanel Timeless Clutch. Shop pre-owned and vintage Chanel via Portero.
I pretty desperately want this adorable little Chanel Mini Flap Bag.
Not to be confused with this other Chanel Mini Flap Bag, which is totally different. Shop pre-owned and vintage Chanel via Portero.
Also not to be confused with this small, but not mini, Chanel Flap Bag with purple (!!!) hardware.
Does this Chanel Flap Bag have a purple cast to its shiny embellishments, or is it just the lighting? I'm not sure, but I love it. Shop pre-owned and vintage Chanel via Portero.
To break up the black, here's Sharon with a Chanel Classic Flap in champagne.
And now for something completely different, the Chanel Quilted Shoulder Tote, which has no flap! Shop pre-owned and vintage Chanel via Portero.
Sharon's Chanel Cambon Satchel is a total It Bag throwback.
This Chanel Quilted Tote looks soft enough that I'd take a nap on it. Shop pre-owned and vintage Chanel via Portero.
In the story I have going in my head, Sharon bought so many Chanel bags that they gave her this Chanel Canvas Logo Tote for free.