Buzz Worthy

The 13 Weirdest Luxury Goods Your Favorite Designer Bag Brands Sell on the Internet Right Now

As you guys are well aware, our primary focus is and always has been handbags. That means that we spend our time on the websites of every big luxury retailer and designer brand in the world, and, well…sometimes our attention wanders. And by “our,” I mean “my.” I’m easily distracted and very curious, which sometimes leads me to explore the less-traveled sections of online retailers. And when I do, what I find is always weird.

Earlier this week, I got lost and stumbled upon the Hermès game set you see below, which prompted further investigations into the wild, sometimes wonderful (and sometimes just weird, or maybe slightly insulting) luxury goods our favorite handbag brands are selling right now. If you feel a little like Marie Antoinette at the end, you’re not the only one.

Aerin Chess Set
$3,250 via Neiman Marcus

This is the kind of thing perfect for people who have bought tables to take up extra space in their cavernous houses that they never intend to use for any functional purpose but nonetheless need to decorate in a way that implies they know tables are usually functional.

Chanel Boomerang
$1,325 via Chanel

If you throw this, it will come back to you. Unfortunately, it will not have your money with it upon return.

Chanel Paddleboard
Price on Request via Chanel

If Chanel won’t even tell the price, well, as my mom says: if you have to ask, you can’t afford it. (And I can’t, so what’s the price??)

Chanel Tennis Balls
$475 via Chanel

The racket to make the full set is an additional $1,550.

Coach Baseball Glove
$350 via Coach

Coach has made baseball gloves for a long time because it was these gloves that inspired the brand’s first leather goods, but the range of colors right now is truly inspiring. Perfect for your drag queen softball league.

Ghurka Leather Decorative Football
$195 via Moda Operandi

I appreciate the stipulation that this football is meant for purely decorative purposes. Put it on your bookshelf, Todd. Your playing days are over. You’re going to pull a hammy.

Hermès Helios Mahjong Game
$41,400 via Hermès

Maybe I’m giving myself away as a member of the generation reared on Jackass, but for $40k and change, I’d buy a sports car and learn how to do stunts in it. I can play mahjong on my phone.

Loewe Beach Blades
$1,780 via farfetch.com

When you do a Google image search for “beach blades,” most of what you get appears to be parts for food processors. I’m gonna assume it’s a European term.

Louis Vuitton Photo Frame Scott
$630 via Louis Vuitton

For when you look at your cherished moments and think, “Hmm, ya know what’s missing? A ton of tiny Louis Vuitton logos surrounding our smiling faces.”

Maison Margiela Leather Bookmark
$51 via farfetch.com

Margiela has long made plenty of weird home goods, but the fusion of its weird home goods and weird shoes into something you’re gonna leave in the waiting area of your dentist’s office is perfect.

Missoni Hammock
$1,165 via LUISAVIAROMA

I wouldn’t fall asleep and get a weird sunburn in anything less.

Saint Laurent California Roller Skates
$1,195 via farfetch.com

Sprain your ankles and fall on your face in style.

Versace Salt and Pepper Shaker
$282 via LUISAVIAROMA

No word yet on whether Versace will make me a custom Cholula holster, but here’s hoping.

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