Coach released an all new Signature Patchwork series of bags, that is, unlike their earlier Patchwork, trimmed in colorful snakeskin and is the first all patchwork collection to incorportate five different sizes of their own pattern fabric.

Fendi Suede HoboAfter I did a lovely write up on the gorgeous Fendi bags that do exist, I feel totally let-down by this hideous number. I’m going to take a stab at what happened here. Karl Lagerfeld spent this past winter in North Dakota in the mountains and never once had human interaction. Then he proceeded to become so lonely that he made friends with a squirrel, let’s call him Chuckles. So then as Karlito began to experience worse and worse winter woes, he decided he had nothing left to do but slaughter his squirrel friend, Chuckles, and use him for a design on his new Fendi Suede Hobo. Yes, that sounds about right. This bag had me laughing so hard trying to figure out what was going on that I think I burned enough calories to consider this hysteric attack my work out for the day (at least I will tell myself that). What a joke. This bag is being called, “A hip hobo with that must-have logo and a playful squirrel—another Fendi signature”. Oh how I beg to differ. The bag has the tiny zucchino logo pattern splattered all over it on brown suede. Then comes the biggest mess: a dark brown/orange/green suede squirrel appliqué with black topstitching and none other than a gray fox fur tail on the front of the bag. My question is, if you are going to use a squirrel picture, why not just slab the tail on there too? Seeing that squirrels are always road kill, can’t we just send Karl Lagerfeld out to I-95 to scoop some tails up? Here is the astonishing part. This Fendi Suede Hobo is on pre-order for $2,040 at Neiman Marcus. All I have left to say is poor Chuckles. R.I.P.

Marc Jacobs Collection Soft Calf Cosmetics PouchI love my makeup. I do not use it hardly ever, but I love it. Whenever I go to the mall I always head into Sephora or Nieman Marcus to buy makeup, which I do not need or use. Prices on makeup are ridiculous. Funny how I can say makeup prices are ridiculous when I am telling you day after day about multiple exorbitantly pricey handbags. But here is where I’m stuck in a sticky situation. When I love both makeup and bags, am I willing to spend $325 on a makeup bag? Actually I have a greater question, do I even have over $300 to spend on another bag?

Answer: not really. But will I consider it? Of course I will. That’s a bad personality trait, trust me. The Marc Jacobs Collection Soft Calf Cosmetics Pouch is just one of those beautifully simple bags that I can’t pass up. It is simple, small, divine, and the perfect unnecessary accessory. When I look at this bag I swear I can feel the craftsmanship of the smooth calf leather. Another simply beautiful addition is the signature press-lock, which adds some flirty fun. Now I have to rave to you about the color. The aquamarine is so gorgeous I can’t get over it. It is just one of those elegant blue colors that makes you smile. The bag is lined in a colorful suede and is the perfect size, 7.5″ x 4″ x 2″, to be carried around in your large oversized tote. If you are one of the lucky few to be able to afford this makeup pouch and con promise me you won’t let it get as dirty as you do your other ones, then hop over to eLuxury and buy it for $325.

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Donna Karan Iconic Flap ClutchI have always remembered when anyone asked me to sit; I stood, asked me to laugh; I cried, asked me to be nice; I was mean, etc etc. And I know whenever I was in class and or listening to a presentation and I should be quiet, I laughed. It is human nature sometimes to do the exact opposite of what you should. Or again, is that just me? I will admit it and apologize again, sorry Mom & Dad, I was a rowdy child. But I know situations like this still happen to people everyday. Maybe not so bad, but they do. Like when you are at a very important banquet and the speaker is so boring that… you have counted each person in the room, counted each tile on the ceiling, thought of everything you had to do for the next 5 years- only to look up and realize, he is still talking. Now I have found a clutch that will serve multiple purposes for all of us ladies.

Next time you realize you are going to a dinner party, banquet, speech, etc and you need a little black clutch, go for the Donna Karan Iconic Flap Clutch. This clutch will serve multiple purposes for each of you. First of all from outer appearance the bag is exquisitely glamorous. Combining supple calfskin with contrast topstitching only adds ingenuity to the design. The bag also features a flap closure with a hidden magnetic clasp and beautiful soft suede lining with a golden “Donna Karan” plaque inside. But here is the fun part ladies. Golden rivets with brass weights dangle from the bag adding an alluring dazzle and also a way to keep from becoming mind-numbingly bored. Next time you are out socially and begin to hear things about the bull and the bear, the Dow, and Uncle Leeroy’s Porsche- just look down at your clutch and begin to flick the brass weights. I’d even come up with a game in my head to see if I could cause a ripple effect if I flicked hard enough and so on. As long as you still have a little imagination left in you (or a lot of boredom), this bag has endless possibilities. And like I said before the bag is actually gorgeous. This end-boredom clutch can be yours at eLuxury for $435.

Tod\'s Charlotte Lavoro Grande$1,050 worth of scrumptious, mindblowing, icecap-melting, attractive, splendid, bombastic and spacious tote goodness. Made of beautifully grained leather exterior with elegant saddle-style topstitching, it comes with a double zipped closure. The fine canvas lining comes with a zipped pocket, and more hemispherical zipped pockets on either sides of the bag. Polished nickel hardware, rolled leather handles with horseshoe links and a long detachable shoulder strap top off this wonderful piece of chich handcraftsmanship. The Tod’s Charlotte Lavoro Grande Tote is available as of now through eLuxury.com.

By the way, our site will get a designer overhaul tonight, apologies if something should be temporarlity messed up, I am working on it :)

Yves Saint Laurent Sparte HoboSpartacus was gorgeous right? The man I mean. I think so. Or maybe that is just how they portrayed him in the movies. But I do know that Brad Pitt looked amazingly gorgeous in Troy. Actually many of my guy friends (including you Vlad!) not only admitted to finding Brad Pitt gorgeous, but also admitted to watching the movie just for him. Yes, you men out there do actually judge other men. We all know it. And it is OK. So when I think of this Yves Saint Laurent Sparte Hobo, I am seriously reminded of Troy or Joan of Ark or Spartacus. I just could never see myself wearing it. The bag looks ancient. I am supposing that was the point, but still, not my style.

The YSL Sparte Hobo features front sided metallic leather fringe with goldtone hardware while the rest of the handbag is made of suede. The shoulder strap has adjustable buckles which you can alter to be as long as short as you like. If you are preparing to run around Troy with the bag, make sure you tighten the straps. The hobo has a hidden magnetic snap closure and is lined in satin and has an inside zip pocket. Sizing in at a burly 11″H X 12″L X 1″W this ancient bag can be yours for $995 at Saks.

Let’s see who has the best skills out there! Rick, a lovely reader of ours, dropped me an email saying his daughter loves this bag that Jessica Simpson is sporting. I have figured out that it is indeed a Miu Miu bag. But the problem is that Miu Miu’s website (like the Prada sister site) is totally not helpful. So I am going to rely on some of you to see if we can pull our smarts together to figure this one out! Anyhow, the bag is absolutely gorgeous!!

Pollini HandbagHow about them apples? This year, many designers take the forbidden fruit and slap it on their summer bags, e.g. Luella did with her Gisele. Others take the trend and turn their bags into the fruit itself. What comes out of this metamorphosis is the Pollini Apple Bag. The italian made handbag is made of all leather with a patent trim. The slim dual top handles are too short for the bag to be carried on the shoulder, but still visually work well with the overall appeal of the cute bag. An inside magnetic snap closure keep the apple closed, while an apple logo print covers its lining. Leather feetsies protect the bag from dirt when set down. Caught on to the taste? Then go ahead and grab the fruit for a sinful $475 via Zappos.

Dolce Gabbana HandbagFor some reason this world is always living so far into the future I swear we forget to live for today. Ah words of wisdom from little insignificant me. But it is true. When it’s Halloween, there are talks of the holidays such as Christmas. What happened to Thanksgiving I wonder? It just flew by? This living in the future trend is also readily visible in the fashion world. Which is a problem for us shopoholics. You know how to finally get that new bag, or shirt, or dress you have been saving for and then you turn around and see the following week the next season is being shown off. What the heck!! It makes me mad because I feel like I never have enough money to keep up with the times. I bet this happens to you a lot too. So why am I talking about this? Because I have found yet another gorgeous fall bag. Wow, fall seems far away. We still have the dreadfully hot months (and hurricane months) of July and August to make it through. Nevertheless, Dolce & Gabbana is showing us why they are regarded as cream of the crop. The Dolce & Gabbana Studded Satchel for fall is absolutely gorgeous. Actually between the soft brown leather and gold hardware I don’t know what else Dolce & Gabbana could do to show us that the fall line is already here.

The satchel manifests its beauty in a sumptuous cuoio (brown) colored leather with golden hardware and stud trim. Another eye-catcher is the hanging ‘D’ and ‘G’ logo charms hanging from the shoulder straps. The bag is a zip top opening with a pad-lock pull tab. Now, there is a downside. Because it is a fall bag, it may only be pre-ordered. Yikes. And even worse is the expected shipment date. Wow, you sure will make it into fall when you finally get this bag. Expected shipment date is 10/14/2005. Humm, sorry if I gave off some false advertisement. But the perk is you know are some of the first to see this beauty and if you chose to order it at Bergdorf Goodman for $1,495 you are guaranteed (by me) to be one of the hippest awaited fall fashionistas!

Arche handbagI do appreciate bags that sets certain moods, bags that have outstanding features and catch other people’s attention. I do believe that the Arche Irish is a candidate for just that job. As plain as it may seem, it is the simplistic design and the loose, buttoned straps that add appeal. It gives a soothing vibe, perfect for the hectical and stressful urban lifestyle. The flat north/south hobo is made of pure soft lamb skin, while its halves are held together by a magnetic snap closure. An inside back zip pocket, a cell pocket and a key ring loop take care of stowing away the dailies. Two wooden buttons adjust the strap length, enabling you to carry it cross-body. The ‘Irish’ can be your daily companion for $445. The dimensions: 11 1/2″ wide x 2″ deep x 15″ length.

Asics Mexico 66This particular bag is not only your everyday companion for trips to the gym, but also comes with a little bit of Asics history. The sports bag gets its name from the shoe that, back in the day, first featured the legendary tiger stripes. Now the bag has them, too. Cool stuff. Other than that, the Mexico 66 is a slick pocketbook sized duffle bag that is constructed with suede striping and handles and a nylon lining on its inside. Its got plenty of pockets to keep stuff organized — the main compartment holds on zippered inner pocket, 2 hook-and-loop pockets and on top of that 2 more inner mesh pockets. A semi-structured shape keeps the bag in shape. The 14” by 4 ½” by 7” Mexico 66 comes in navy or white (with grey accent) and goes for $75. Very neat, indeed.

Louis Vuitton HandbagAs my mom remarked to me about my dad earlier today, “Your father is the least close to a metrosexual in the world”, I realized I needed to feature a man bag. And going with my mom’s comment on my dad, I realize this bag is not for you dad! Sorry. But I know there are men among you out there that are totally hip and always nicely dressed and this bag is for you. I love Louis Vuitton and their messenger bags. I actually have one that I adore and used to use for school (when I went of course). From all of my travels I have learned one thing; the working man today loves a trendy messenger bag. They all have it. All the business tycoons in NYC carry them. The Louis Vuitton Bastille messenger bag is the perfect working bag for any man out there (unless you are also not ‘metrosexual’ like my father).

Louis Vuitton has so many styles that can meet any man’s need, and this bag is made of the city men out there. Made from the Damier canvas with brown cowhide trim and polished brass hardware, this bag calls attention to its style but also is not too over the top with logos. Don’t get me wrong. Almost everybody knows the Damier print to belong to Louis Vuitton, but the LV logo pattern is much more obvious I think. The messenger style bag has a full flap that closes with a unique brass and hidden-elastic “button” providing easy access to the spacious interior. The inside is packed with goodies including two deep pockets, one full-width inside pocket, and terracotta canvas lining. Now terracotta reminds me of some sort of outdoor patio, but maybe I’m just crazy and way off. Along with all of the inner goodies the bag features a zipped outside back pocket and an adjustable textile strap that may be worn on the shoulder or across the body. Whichever way you chose to wear this bag, you will know you are stylin’! The bag is a plentiful 13″ ½ ” x 12″ ¼” x 4″ for all you work junkies who wondered if you could fit all your necessities in there and can be purchased at eLuxury for $1,000 even.

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